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11 years...My first everything!

My boyfriend cheated on me

Sunday, September 4, 2016 10:03 AM by *B R O K E N* L O S T* Rating: +14|-1

I had been with my bf since 17 years old, straight out if hs. I am now 28 years old, so we've been together for 11 years. We have a beautiful 9 years old son together. For the first 9 years we lived together with his parents. 2 years ago we bought a house and had been living there fir 2 1/2 years. We had been arguing over dumb stuff fir the past 2 months or so, it got really bad that he had started to emotionally abuse me. He had absolutely no patience for me anymore, he would get upset for litterally anything i would say. He would yell at me , make me feel stupid, he would say things to me i never thought he would. He became to blunt and cold about the things he would say to me, make me cry and he wouldnt even care to see me in such pain. We had not been sexually like we were before we moved in the house together. It would only be every once in a while that we would have sex. The longest time i can recall going without sex was about 2 months. He was always "tired, stressed or sleepy", i woukd feel rejected sometimes when i would try. So fast fwd to date....last week i got a life changing phone call from an old friend. She coukdnt believe what she had seen. She said that she saw my bf with another girl eating at the restaurant she was at. They then walked to the car as a couple arm around wait and neck , she described.  They even started making out in his car...I wouldnt believe it. I started screaming telling her that it wasn't him, he would never be capable of doing this this. She desired him and his car and sure enough it was him. My world came crashing down right before me. I couldn't breathe, talk, i was in shock. He had told me that he would be going to his friends place after work and ehat he was gonna be late. I waited for him at home for several hours. I gave him a chance to start speaking before me. He was in denial at first until i told him he had been caught with the bitch by someone i knew. All he could tell me was "im sorry" Thats all! He had this look on his face upset that he had been caught but didn't sound one bit remorseful. I cried to him, i said what i had to say and i told him i was leaving, he did try to stop me but just for our son.  He said he didn't have feelings for me anymore but he still loved me. He said that we had become blahh, a habit. That little by little he stopped having feelings for me and he didn't feel the same just didn't know how to tell me. He had no intentions on getting caught. So this past week i had been staying elsewhere with my son. I went back to the house 3 times this week to swallow my pride and work things out. All 3 times i cried and humiliated myself practically begging him to not give uo on his family....he said "i gave up on you, not my family" he says it would never work out anymore. Because his feelings for me had been gone already. He admitted to going to a motel and fucking her, the week prior when he said he was working extra hours at work. He denies having feeling for the bitch that she is just a friend.....a friend with benefits that listens to him, nothing serious. That he had already told her that he did not want a relationship,  strictly sex. He admitted she was getting feeling for him and that she wanted him all to herself. He claims he has no feeling for her but he just goes with the flow, telling her what she wants to hear! At this point all the damage he's done to me, i don't understand what would be the point of lying to me about his feeling towards her. He wants us to come back home for the skew of our son he did. Separate rooms, but as a "family for our son" he says he wants to be my best friend and be civil with me he said afterall we were each other's first everything! We lost our virginity to each other at 17. I had never even thought of cheating on him regardless how much he hurt me and made me cry.  We were meant to be "together forever " we woukd always say. But now he has chosen to be fuck buddies with this girl. This was his official first "free" weekend...we have cameras installed at the house and couldn't stop checking them throughout the night to see if he had made it back home.......he didn't. Im sure hes still with her in bed at a motel. Their first whole night together and its killing me inside. I have had major anxiety. My arms, legs and toes have been tingling since i got that phone call last week. I cant eat, sleep or cant stop thinning about him. My heart litterally hurts so much. I cant even cry anymore, it just feels a part of me was taken. 11 years.....11 years and i still can't believe he threw me away like trash....i wish i had a male friend for comfort, to listen to me, to tell me everything will be ok. But i dont,  i never had any male friends, i never had eyes for anyone but him. Not one guilty bone in my body. I didnt deserve this! Now i dont if i should go back to the house like he said or stay away. HELP!

Sorry for the long entry, i just needed to vent and throw my story out there and get some feedback. Those who took the time reading this,  thank u so much, i really appreciate some advice! Men, it would be nice to hear your thought/perspective in things....THANKS!

Tags: Abuse; Friend;

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Comments

Monday, September 5, 2016 12:52 AM
MrAnonymus

Wow this guy seems like he has it both ways. Are you intimidate at all? I would say find a way to get a second wind. Get your hair done go for a pamper session. Maybe dye your hair, universities or colleges do discounts. Get a little make over new perfume mascara fake eye lashes. This is to get him to remember you

 
Monday, September 5, 2016 3:36 PM
Guest

I agree with the guest above me. The same thing happened to me and my wife. I felt the same way but I didn't cheat I just out right told her that I loved her but was no longer in lover with her. We were just so routine. She comes back 2 months later all of her hair cut off she lost five pounds were as I gained 8 pounds. I was going to the gym and apparently so was she. Long story short we got back together and we have been very happy and more in love. The conclusion to my story is I believe me and my wife needed time to ourselves as individuals. We needed to fix our characters. Sometimes relationships need that. I wouldn't say go back to the house but I would def change yourself. Focus on your look and see where it takes you

 
Tuesday, September 6, 2016 10:45 AM
Guest

I am sorry for your pain. Try to move on as best you can. The pain will lessen over time. 

 
Wednesday, September 7, 2016 5:17 PM
Guest

Hey this is really sad, I suggest you report him so people know that's he's a low life! Also anyone that had been cheated in go to this site and make it known that they are misrable people 

http://adf.ly/1dnOEJ

 
Friday, September 9, 2016 3:01 PM
Alex

Heartbreaking ( 💔 I can feel the pain! )and sadly not too different from my own story (and many other's)! Leave him ASAP, don't linger... and try to have a "normal" relationship for the sake of your kid! The pain will go away over time, even if it seems unbearable now..

 
Friday, September 16, 2016 2:18 AM
guest101

Your boyfriend is disrespecting you and the relationship both have made..  You need to leave him immediately.  If you can't, start make plans do so.  Get legal advise for custody of your son and seek what you can get off him legally, being in a relationship for so long.  I agree with the other comments, to go out to the gym, exercise and go to school, learn a different language...anything to expend your horizons.  

When you formulate your plan, do need to cut look at your finances and see if, legally, you can close them or cut him off, if he has access.  If you haven't worked in a long time and been dependent on him, start looking at course etc, work etc when he is out with the other woman.  Save SAVE SAVE!!!! Find yourself because, lady, YOU ARE SERIOUSLY LOST HERE.  If you can get out now, then do so.  It will save you heart ache in the long run.  Also ask yourself do you really want to be in this relationship were the abuse of trust, loyalty and fidentity are being broken each day?   Do you want your son to grow like his father?  I think you really need to sit down, and just think about it.  Then leave with your son.  You deserve to be in a real relationship, not with your loser boyfriend.

You may be scared now of the unknown, but being scared gives you the strength to go forth in life.  

 

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