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6 Week Affair

My wife cheated on me

Thursday, August 20, 2015 5:52 PM by Broken Hearted Rating: +55|-31

I caught my wife cheating via phone records and pictures in her phone. From May 26 - June 29 - my wife of 10 years was talking to a friend of hers she reconnected with on Facebook. They knew each other and ran in the same circles 25 years ago. I first got suspicious on July 1st when I logged into my bank account and noticed a Paypal charge for over $190. I immediately texted her to inquire. At that time I couldn't see who the vendor was - so she said I have no idea - let me call PayPal and see what's going on. I don't have a Paypal account - so she knows it had to be her card. The next day I log into my account and the name of the vendor shows up - "SpringHill Suites". I texted her again from work and asked her why would her card be used at a hotel. Lies after lies after lies. I then log into my T-Mobile account to check her phone records - over 1500 minutes alone were dedicated to this one number, 40 text messages, and 30 Facetimes. I took the telephone number and googled it. The number was actually tied to someone's name - I took the name a searched for him on Facebook - sure enough they were friends. I went on his Facebook page and scrolled down to a specific date that I knew my wife - being a stay at home mom/part time worker needed to be onsite at her corporate location on a specific day after telling me she needed to go in weeks prior too. Well the guy flew from ATL to Fort Lauderdale the same day she was to be at work. Long story short - she was there with him for 8 hours - they attempted to have sex three times but per her - she was uncomfortable and he couldn't penetrate let alone get up - which I find hard to believe. She sent him pics of her vagina and he sent pics of his penis - weeks before the meet up. She also downloaded over 36 unfaithful/adulterous songs in her iTunes 4 days before the meet up. The betrayed me, deceived me, and manipulated me. Right under my nose... I had no idea! I left worknearlybtonpixknour son and daughter up from summer camp just so she could "go to work and attend a dinner outing with her team"... Unbelievable - she was at the hotel from 10AM - 6PM. SHOULD I GET A DIVORCE? I can't trust her anymore. She did this 30 days before our 10th Anniversary. I believe she loved him - she tells me it was only a mental space. She's been apologetic and crying daily. I don't know what I should do.

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Comments

Friday, August 21, 2015 5:59 AM
Ash

Hey i feel really sorry for you , i know how it just pin you inside, jst be strong mate,  and move on, i would advise you not to stay with such people , go away move and live the rest of your life doing stuff you always wanted to do, 

just forget it . you know my friend the world is too big for you to worry about it detail. we human being got only 100 year to live not even sure so why losing time ? on small details she cheated you it was not a mistake she done but a choice you don't deserve to be sad move on my friend

 
Friday, August 21, 2015 12:43 PM
Guest

move on with your life.

 

 
Sunday, August 30, 2015 4:51 PM
Guest

Forgive her, get into swinging.. She's a good girl who made a mistake.. She got fucked, it happens.. Don't let a cock come between your love...

 
Sunday, August 30, 2015 4:54 PM
Guest

How do you know she's a damn good girl - who said she was good? Who is this?

 
Monday, August 31, 2015 10:51 AM
Guest

Look, it happens, alright, it is a part of life. You have decide whether to accept her or not and sounds like she loves you. Give her all of your love, and if I were to guess there is probably a gap between YOU, LOVE and HER... Have you done an honest evaluation of your entire situation? Take her out to the city to a nice hotel, do dinner, talk abou things, her desires, etc...

 
Monday, August 31, 2015 10:58 AM
Guest

Explain to me how you've concluded that she loves me.... I'm confused!

 
Monday, September 14, 2015 8:34 PM
Guest

Do you still love your wife? Do you wish you could get relief from the pain of knowing that your wife betrayed you with another man? Does the fact that she lied to you, over and over, eat away at you sometimes... and you don't know how you could ever trust her again (even if you wanted to)? Do you feel that if you could discover the real reason why she cheated, that would help you deal with it? Are you haunted by images of her with another man... images that won't go away no matter how hard you try to not think about them?

 
Tuesday, September 15, 2015 2:58 AM
Guest

Jesus, ehat are these people telling?

Get into swinging?

Let me be clear , with all due respect, that woman is a bitch.

She not only cheated on you, she did it off your money.

Dump her immediately. I hope the kids get to grow up with a right guy like you rather than a cheating liar like her

 

 
Wednesday, September 23, 2015 6:55 PM
Guest

It is just sex. If you cannot get over knowing that another man left his seed inside your wife's womb, and it sounds like you can't, then you need to move on.

 
Monday, September 28, 2015 9:08 PM
Guest

The Solution:  Get her BEST FRIEND to agree to have ALL-OUT WILD PASSIONATE UNRESTRICTED SEX in front of your wife with her HANDCUFFED to a chair - where she can clearly SEE ALL THE ACTION, but NOT move a muscle!  Fuck her girlfriend in as many positions possible, having her ORGASM HARD in each one!  For added incentive, do it in the MARRIAGE BED!!!!!

 
Friday, October 2, 2015 6:36 PM
Guest

difficult, children are involved.  On the other hand, how can you trust your wife?  And what will she sacrifice to show her fidelity?  If you decide the gain is worth potential loss, you should renegotiate your vows with a post-nuptial contract where the cheater will get a much reduced outlay in the case of continued adultery.  Sending pictures to their lover is so incredibly tacky...  

 
Thursday, October 8, 2015 8:33 PM
Guest

Dump the bitch. If she does it once and you forgive her, she knows that you'll take her back when she does it again.

 
Friday, October 23, 2015 1:43 PM
Guest

She oviously wants to be a whore and not care for you so do yourself a favour and toss the whore to the curb

 
Tuesday, September 6, 2016 3:26 PM
Guest

There is a chance the relationship can be saved. For each of the following things, she gets one chance to get it right. If she screws up, just leave. You have to tell her that she only gets one chance to do these things right. 

1) She has to tell you everything

2) She has to accept full responsibility for her actions.  She can't blame you, or your friends, or her friends, or anyone else. If she can't accept full responsibility then she will cheat again.

3) She must agree to be totally open with you for one year.  She will have no secrets and no rights to any secrets for a year .  This is something that she must give you freely and gladly in exchange for the opportunity of staying in the relationship.  If she won't give this to you freely and gladly, just walk away.

4) She acknowledges that she has no right t resent you for asking these things because she screwed things up so badly.

 5) She must agree to never have away contact with the guys  ever.  No excuses, no deaths in the famil, nothing is a reason for her to ever contact him again.  If she wants to have a call where she tells him no contact ever and you are listening on the call that would be up to you.

You have an obligation if she accepts.  You can't be mean to her or emotionally abuse her using the privileges she is giving you.  Use them for the good of your future together.

Ytou have a tough road ahead. If you don't think that yyou can get past what happened then just move on. If your biggest concern is that she will do it again then try what I suggested. 

 
Tuesday, September 6, 2016 3:26 PM
Guest

There is a chance the relationship can be saved. For each of the following things, she gets one chance to get it right. If she screws up, just leave. You have to tell her that she only gets one chance to do these things right. 

1) She has to tell you everything

2) She has to accept full responsibility for her actions.  She can't blame you, or your friends, or her friends, or anyone else. If she can't accept full responsibility then she will cheat again.

3) She must agree to be totally open with you for one year.  She will have no secrets and no rights to any secrets for a year .  This is something that she must give you freely and gladly in exchange for the opportunity of staying in the relationship.  If she won't give this to you freely and gladly, just walk away.

4) She acknowledges that she has no right t resent you for asking these things because she screwed things up so badly.

 5) She must agree to never have away contact with the guys  ever.  No excuses, no deaths in the famil, nothing is a reason for her to ever contact him again.  If she wants to have a call where she tells him no contact ever and you are listening on the call that would be up to you.

You have an obligation if she accepts.  You can't be mean to her or emotionally abuse her using the privileges she is giving you.  Use them for the good of your future together.

Ytou have a tough road ahead. If you don't think that yyou can get past what happened then just move on. If your biggest concern is that she will do it again then try what I suggested. 

 
Tuesday, September 6, 2016 4:41 PM
ALF

Broken Hearted:

You've got quite a lot on your plate to ponder.  Keep in mind that this wasn't something that happened on a girl's night out, and she hooked up with some dude in a bar and screwed him.  This is something that she put considerable conscious effort into.  She planned to cheat.  So any talk of "it just happened" is total B.S.  You are well within the right not to trust her, and no one can blame you if you decide to walk away.  The ball is in your court now.  You get to decide if the relationship continues or not.  If you do decide to try and work things out, DO NOT give trust easily.  Because of the issue of money spent on a hotel, I would suggest you maintain separate personal bank accounts for a while.  You can set up a separate account for covering household expenses.  You've got some hard choices ahead of you.  Remember to make yourself and your kids your #1 priority, take care of you.  If you decide to leave her, at least your 10-year lie will come to an end and you can get a fresh start and move on.

 
Tuesday, September 6, 2016 4:46 PM
Guest

So what's the update?

 

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