So I have been married twice before to women that left or cheated on me . I met a wonderful beautiful women after being single for a year. I had three kids and so did she. She was also ending her second marriage (or so I was told) we started seeing each other and it was fireworks . After two months she wanted to move in with me and I put the brakes on. This is when the roller coaster started . Intense mind games and fear of abandoning on her part. I eventually went against my gut and she and her teenagers moved in. Great kids btw. Next few months went ok but then marriage came up . Again major fights with her building me up and tearing me down . Soon I couldn't take the mental abuse and lowered the boom and kicked her out . It was traumatic but she could not be reasoned with. She went from insults to begging me to take her back. It was hard on me. We continued to talk and then she informed me she was seeing someone after only a month. I knew the guy and he was a looser drug dealer and I warned her about him. She then used him like a tool to get me to care and so on. She started sleeping with him and pretended he was mr sensitive. Then it was like the world ended and she said she made s huge mistake and he was a creep and wanted me back . After a few weeks she seemed sincere and she ended up coming over and we slept together . Late in the evening she said she had to go home to her kids . Not unti a few months later after she moved backbout a year in did I find out she didn't go home that night but went to a bar with friends and met a guy ten years her younger and had a one night stand. This was horrible to find out and I almost could not deal with it. But I had her kids moved back in and everything . 6 months later the pressure came back to get married. She was having stress atacks and go cataton ic if we would fight or it seemed I was pushing her away. Finally I caved. We got married and all cleared up for a year. Then it started again. Jealousy , pushing, pulling, mind games....VERY abusive . I couldn't take it and asked her for a few days apart. She had a complete meltdown and moved out for a week, I sat down with her after a week. It was like the reset button was pushed and she was ok again. Fast forward 6 years after my ex killed herself and I had major back surgery and she.  had 3 female surgerys that didn't go well. We moved to Arizona and life was looking perfect. We were getting along good, her biz was good, weather was great , then she started messing up the checking acct ( forgot to mention she is the worst with money) I had to keep loaning her business thousands to stay afloat, every time she would say it was the last time and everything was fine now. Then one day I sit down at her computer and her Facebook was open. I find suggestive m They essages to guys I don't know. Turns out she had three guys she had never met that she was sending naked pics back and forth. I about lost it. She said she didn't know why it just made her feel good . I found almost 10,000 texts in three months. A lot of them while she was in bed with me. Then she tells me she went to a bar one night with her friend and a Latino airline pilot was flirting from across the room, her friend dared her and she went over and handed him her number. . They proceeded to text and later that night she drove him to his hotel and the had sex. Unprotected sex. She text him back and forth for two weeks and then he flew into town and she told me she had a business thing and met up and had unprotected sex again. They texted for two months after that sending naked pics. They would talk on phone too, sometimes right in front of me and pretend it was Someone from the biz. After all is confessed she realizes it's over and gets suicidal , I drive her to mental hospital and check her in for a week. Now she's out and it's been two weeks , she's on meds and therapy and says she dosent know who she's been her whole life . Doc says she has borderline personality disorder. She claims she's a new person now and wants me back and that she loved me and it was never about me. .....she says she will do whatever it takes, even if it's moving out for s year to prove to me I'm all she wants....question is... Is this s real disorder that can be fixed? Does she get another shot with meds and therapy? Or am I the stupidest guy on earth? I love her but have zero trust. I had to lock up my checkbook and debit cards and passwords a long time ago.......as I write this I see the obvious answers ...fuck me..