Wednesday, February 10, 2016 3:20 PM by Guest
i fell in love with the guys that payed attention to me. thats how it was, i knew it and i accepted it. every boy i fall in love with is the same. funny, charming, and they all want the same from me. but i thought he was different. i had been in love with him for years. i would wake up and thank God that he was given to me. but i knew he only saw me as his bestfriend, and i thought there was no way that he would ever feel for me what i feel for him.
well to my surprise he did! and we dated for almost a year, i was so happy with him, i thought that i couldnt have found someone more perfect for me than him. and i thought he was a good person that loved me and cared about me, and would never hurt me. so when he made his first mistake, i forgave him.
i was hit with major depression and anxiety, and i didnt think so at the time but now i think he was one of the greatest factors that triggered it. he would constantly hurt me, and he wouldnt realize it until i pointed it out. he would see me in pain and apologize. he would tell me he loves me, it wasnt going to happen again. "im sorry" and i took him back every time.
when a new year started, i knew it was time for change, i was slowly getting better. he was the only thing that was still bringing me down.
a few weeks ago he made another mistake, and i wasnt going to let that one slide so easily. so i ignored him. i ignored him in the halls, i ignored him in class, and i ignored him when he apologized. after two days of not speaking to him, he broke up with me. he broke up with me. he knew i wasnt going to do it, i loved him too much, so he broke up with me. i was devastated. i thought my world had come crashing down again after all that i had done to keep it up. i felt alone. no boys at school like me, so i knew he was my only chance. the only one that wanted me. but to him i was a joke. i was a joke he'd laugh about with his friends.
its been a week, and today i found out he cheated on me more than once. so he lied. he cheated. he made fun of me. and he laughed.
a relationship with him was never the one i wanted.