‘I had it all’ and believe it or not, now you have more than what you had before! Sometimes you gain something by having something you don’t need, something negative removed from your life. Life can be good and beautiful and sometimes it can be hard and still beautiful . . .but your life has to be real and true. And the worst way you can live your life, is to live a lie. God really blessed you by revealing to you the truth. . .just think about it: she was caught in the church bathroom; who cheats in church, rather who gets that horny to screw in a church bathroom. As you mature as a Christian you will learn to see Gods hand in situations you list expect.

Some guys never find out about their cheating girlfriends, and end up marrying them, having kids with them or raising another mans kids or getting STI’s.  And if she had been caught after marriage she’s the type of woman who would have instantly filed for divorce.The type that never admits to fault, blames you and will never appologize, even if you are wiling to forgive. ‘not recomended by the way’ They have to much pride.

I went through a similar experience with my ex and I couldn’t help noticing some similar behaviour with your ex : my ex also envied my accomplishments even though I viewed ourselves as a team and even supported and encouraged her in her endeavours. And yes, she also cheated on me. She wasn’t apologetic and I left her. . and I started improving myself and my ideology to align it to the word of God : How I realised that true happiness’ can never be derived from somebody else, even from your lover. Etc I know how painful this experience is for you, the depression, the self-low esteem, the anger. . .but I promise you after all is said and done, you will emerge much stronger, mature and wise. Right now I am a better version of myself, it’s amazing. I am emotionally stable, confident, not desperate, I notice behaviours in relationships I wouldn’t have never noticed before, I am not needy at all, I have no ego issues, I have amazing self-control, my emotions don’t affect my perception or behaviour. . . and even women notice it, it’s like they can feel the essence of the man I am inside  . . . it’s amazing. But you will have to go through it, don’t get drunk and self-distruct, allow God to see you through.

And you are falling for the classic mistake and lie: blaming yourself for her infidelity. I have known women who were married to abusive men they loved, and never cheating. Women in relationships with serial-cheaters never cheating, despite getting ample opportunities. She no longer loved you and might never had. Always separate your love for someone, from their love for you. And your love for her could have blinded you from the truth.

You do not need closure and an apology in order to heal and move on. You just need to make up your mind to heal and move on. You have the will and power to control your thoughts and emotion.

Delete your ex from your life as much as she has deleted you, assign zero to her and what you thought you had with her. Don’t hate her, ‘hating her is giving her value’ just make her any other ordinary person, you know nothing about. That there, is true power. And yes it can be done. Very soon you won’t care who she is with, or whoever cums in her mouth . .what she did and what she does will have no power of any kind on you  . . .and that is how you overcome!

After many moths of my ex ignoring me, she started trying to get me back, even wanting to be friends . . .saying how much she misses me. But I had already transcended. . .I was no longer a victim of my desires.. . .my emotions no longer had  power to affect my intelligently made decisions. . .I could see things clearly, for what they really are and not what I wanted them to be . . .she had no power over me. . .I didn’t even have the need or time to even reply . . 

I was already settling in Europe ‘originally from Africa’ working on my MSc in Telecommunications research under a prestigious scholarship and enjoying quality time with amazingly beautiful, independent and inteligent European women.’ I am not implying that African women aren’t’. Infact I am starting to discover the qualities I really appreciate and want in a woman.

Jordan you aren’t weak you are strong . . stop drinking, you got an DUI and now you are getting your parents worried . . because of what a whore did ! Don’t be a victim but overcome. . .start absorbing the pain, without doing something stupid. . .and each day you will heal and get stronger. You are reacting to the pain, but start responding to it! Don’t do what every guy would do, you are not every other guy, you are Jordan, you are a monster!. . .you will remain strong were others were weak . . .I want you to stop running, and feeling sorry for yourself . . . I want you to turn around and look at that demon straight in the eyes and tell it to bring it on ! And when all is said and done you will be even stronger than ever before!

Jordan, I feel for you man. I was in the same boat as you. Stay Strong. This too shall pass !

If you wish to read : http://storyofcheating.com/story/shocked---devastated  

James, That's some good advice. im happy people like you still exsist :)

The girl cheated on you in the bathroom of a church.  That's scraping the bottom of the low-class barrel dude.  You are better off being rid of her.  Don't worry about where she's at.  Rejoice and be glad that she's gone.

James that is some good advise !  Jordan, we often enter into relationships blindly and swept up with passion and an idealized perception of who our partner is. Most of us are totally unprepared for what lies ahead , and ignorant of what is required of us to stay the course, we may think that we know what it takes but the truth is that most of us are clueless, affairs shocks us into reality, but it also gives us the opportunity to grow, to learn, to soul search and to realize that this ex of yours was not for YOU.....be thankful she is out of your life, but mostly be thankful you are healthy and safe, you seem like a real intellegent good guy, stay in control do not self distruct as this will get you no where and only loose all that is truly important in your life, over what? a girl who is clearly not in your league and to put it mildly " a STUPID person" yes "STUPID",  as you can see she does not have much intellegence or imagination and she will go through life making discisions that seem to lack common sense like she just acted in God's home???? who does that????  " yes sensless, unintellegent people"  when you said you had it all ??? You had garbage. " YOU NOW HAVE IT ALL"......you have more grace then you can ever imagine and you will have more grit and vision because of this. Stay in control, stay safe, let God see you through this.

Just want to say thanks all of you. Even though deep down inside I know it. Reading and hearing what you guys say really helps my mind see the reality of the situation. I've been trying to focus on work lately and get everything back on track and being truly content with myself alone. Without someone else there for me to care how my day went, ect. Its so ironic, how I have to learn to not have someone else that cares about me anymore, yet, the one person I was used to usually being there for me on a daily basis actually freaking cared about me the least. 

This month has been a big turning point mentally. For the longest time I felt stuck in this black hole of anger. Questioning so many things, and wanting so many answers. My pride had the best of me. The alchohol and destructive behaviour was merely blocking the reality I did not want to face and accept. I used to long for the day I would eventually face my ex again and have to force her to look at me in the eyes with me knowing the hurtful things she has done to me. To tell you now, if she would be sitting accross a table from me, I would have nothing to tell her. I would rather not be taken to those thoughts anymore, they are already burried for me now. 

I honestly havn't thought of my cheating ex girlfriend in almost a week. And when I do now, its not the same as it used to. Everytime they arise, the thoughts and emotions appear much more faded and blurred. Everytime something triggers the thoughts of my ex, it's not as vivid as it used to be. Almost like theyre slowly drifting away. And I do finally feel that one day they will drift far enough that iit was like she never existed. For me atleast, that's a huge step knowing I can one day reach that state of mind.

Now, if only I could  trust women again. Haha. But that's a story for another day.