"An Affair, That Spiraled, Out of Control"
Sooner or later, we are all going to be brought down from our own little "Fairy Tail" life we live in, that we are now apart of. So basically saying, that this means, "One day, your going to get hit hard (blindsided), hit with a full, impact, force that will next be followed by a long overdue, big time, reality check!" Now saying, "Soon, one day we all must stand tall, firm, and, ready, because we might be faced with our.... true-self once more." Do we know when that day might be? I don't think anyone does. It will appear with no warning, and hit us, right in front of our face. I think this kind of reality check, will come out of nowhere, with no warning whatsoever. I'll tell you all, "you best be prepared for that day,"... why? "You better be honest, sincere, and upfront about everything. Especially when its time to start explaining, and have to apologize." The truth, will set you free, correct? What are you going to do, when the clouds start rolling away? Once again, being confronted with one's real self? Only "Truth" can penetrate thick darkness. It's almost like trying to reach in to someone who is engulfed in thick dark clouds. She (my ex), is not even in condition to judge what her true self really wants in life, let alone what is best for her back then.. I don't say that in a condescending way, so that being said.
Now im quoting the girl friends of my ex, (12 years together), them advising her, plenty of times, just to say to me... "you need to be honest, tell your husband and just be upfront, he deserves to know the truth after what he's gone through, tell him the truth, just be honest, for once in your life." Also she was told, "Don't you realized what you were doing back then, was wrong and your husband now knows about it. So are you, going to do the right thing, you need to start again on the right track (direction), when it comes to him. Were not going to scold you, over that situation from the past, or remind you, how important marriage was, knowing that it's all over, but still it was special and it ended badly where now it can be fixed or at least mend. I think you've realized that already, especially if your husband has been good to you all this time apart, you both need to move forward, by telling him the truth. Look what he's having to face and deal with now, you think that's fair? You knowing, that you didn't mean those things that were said to him, don't let some of your good memories go to waste. Talk to him, now that he's back."
"Look, I'm not going to come on here, to talk trash, to put the blame on one another, or even bash on our past relationship and our crazy separation incidence, because we both acted childish. We hurt a lot of family members, and close mutual friends of ours. I don't want to talk about nothing else, that has to deal with our past, not even reflecting on our relationship or why the break up occurred, with the exception of one thing only. and this subject I rather talk to you personally up front, but it's stated below. This subject and situation, I was place / force to face, was a big deal to me (business wise), and very important (personal wise), to me. At least give me that, with answers? Hopefully you understand my feelings and concerns. Now, if you're willing to finally be up front, I'm all ears. I'm just tired of all this stuff this been said or have been going on. I can care less about anything else, I promise because I don't believe nothing unless it comes straight out of your mouth. I've always been like that and you know this. Before I came back, (hometown), I was already moving forward with my life, but then we had our little mishap. So that being said, I'm going to state something and hopefully you'll now know, what I've been dealing and coping with in private. I hope you really understand what I've gone through. Thanks.."
I finally realize, and now know that you started having an affair with someone I know, but don't care to, or would I ever, never, claim him as a friend, period. Sorry... You need to stop saying that also. No friend of mine would put himself in that situation, and take advantage, of all people, someone I once loved dearly. that's no friend of mine! So stop saying, or writing that, please! You told friends stories about me, alot of them weren't true. Plus anyways, you know how private I was. Very private, I never said anything about you especially our personal intimate moments. Why? I was having a hard time expressing my feelings during my company (financial issues), back then... in which, was really no body's business. We never talked and I wish we would of back then. I knew you were afraid when you left, not of me. I knew because of what you said, and what you text me. I'm not here to put the blame on either one of us, but we can agree that we both, acted childish back then during those horrible times, period! So I assumed after all this time, you were happy with your affair lover (BJW), I've lived with that. Was it really worth it, though? I felt horrible, really embarrassed of your actions that took place, at first. I just wanted to be alone, I have to admit I was in pain. Especially by involving someone that was doing business with me, plus also for my company, and, of course, us personally (financial wise), plus losing another close friend (BH), from this whole ordeal. I was wondering why I never got one email or one phone call from him these past three years, not one, eventually, I figured out why I lost that account. You know that was one of the biggest, best contract deals, I work my ass off, on getting? It took a lot of work, a lot of my personal time, and a lot of money at first? This contract, it let us live a comfortable life (money wise), for several years. Now it was gone, The funny thing is, this contract ended without me knowing why it did, but then years later, I finally found out why I lost that account. Wow, what were you thinking? I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but seriously! How selfish of you, that's all I can really say now. "What did you think was going to happened, if it ever came out in the open? Why? I work so hard, building my company and getting this contract? You saw the way I hustle for everything. I worked so hard for years on getting that contract, and you knew that. Now, that's all gone and you know what, so were you, back then. But I have to live with it now, all the scars that are now, in placed, either online, or written for one's viewing, this by you. So I guess, that's my punishment for being mean to you our last year together, and the first year of our breakup. That's my punishment.
It's funny and crazy how we treat life, can you believe we once had it all (Family Life, Fame and Fortune), and then how quickly, God can take it away from us, just like that.... gone.... in a.... heartbeat.