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Ashamed

I cheated on my husband

Saturday, August 6, 2016 12:33 PM by Babybear Rating: +12|-13

It was supposed to be a fun night with my husband, best friend , and I. She was extremely attractive and i had been stuffing down feelings for a long time. The 3 of us ended up smoking weed and drinking and my husband fell asleep. After the high got really intense she wanted to go outside to look at the stars. And after some time i ended up kissing her. And it escalated from there. 

After getting dressed the shame kicked in. And mario was awake looking for us inside. She was tired and went to bed and i cried in the bathroom.

I told him what i had done 20 minutes later. He had already known that it would get that far. And said he wasnt mad. I didnt believe him and for good reason. The next morning he couldnt look at me.

Ive been a complete wreck sense. I love my husband, and . Cant believe i could let  it go that far. Ive myself to my family and im completely ashamed and dirty. This could ruin my marriage and my husband is in shock. 

Ive thought of suicide cause the guilt is to much but i cant leave my son behind. 

I had sex with my best friend.and now it only has hurt my husband

Tags: Friend;

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Comments

Monday, August 8, 2016 11:50 AM
Relax

    Listen  first  thing is first . SUICIDE is not the answer and it's a selfish  way out.  Yes you cheated and betrayed  your husband but he forgave  you. His action  is not that of a man who is mad at the cheating. He new it was going to happen and wasn't  surprised  when you told him. I will tell you that he is worried  of loosing you. In his mind he might be thinking you are leaving  him because you might possibly  be gay. He might also be thinking  he is not enough  to satisfy  you sexually. His fear and action is that of a man who is worried  of loosing you. You have to talk to him. Lay it all on the table and be honest. If you two don't talk nothing can get fixed. Stop the assumption  and talk to him. If he is mad at the cheating  find a way to work through it. Also please note more drugs or beer for you. Good luck and update us.

 
Monday, August 8, 2016 1:34 PM
ALF

I agree with Relax.  I would also like to add that love is not an absolute.  It has many levels and the people in our lives fall in at particular levels.  I don't doubt that you love you husband, you just don't love him as you thought you did.  You say you've had feelings for your friend for a long time.  You husband said he knew it was going to happen, meaning he's noticed all along your about feelings and knew it was just a matter of time before you acted on them.  Your love for your husband wasn't sufficient to remain committed to him.  Now your lives are irrevocably altered.  You've learned that you husband has harbored suspicions about you and your friend for a long time, and that your best friend wasn't such a good friend after all. Your husband has demonstrated a great deal of maturity and grace by saying he forgave you.  But don't mistake forgiveness for foolishness.  This isn't going to go away over a weekend.  You and he may be able to come to some accommodations and work through this, or you may not.  You're facing years of work ahead of you, with a lot of ups and downs.  

 
Thursday, August 11, 2016 5:20 AM
Guest

well said ALF, well said.

i agree with both, Relax and ALF.

In addition, consuming weeds and alcohol abuse need to be stopped as they cause nothing but more damage.

Good luck and thanks for sharing your story.

Regards

H

 
Monday, August 15, 2016 1:24 PM
Guest

What you did was wrong but it's not worth ending your life. Your husband forgave you, now you need to forgive yourself or the guilt will consume you and that will destroy your marriage. I'm not saying to go and do it again but you are human and like all of us, you will make mistakes, now it's time to focus on the joy and responsibility of your marriage.

 

and talk to your friend. Best of luck.

 

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