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Broken trust again

My boyfriend cheated on me

Sunday, August 7, 2016 8:17 PM by Guest Rating: +4|-3

I've been with my bf for 11 yrs, I met him at high school, and for some reasons we don't live together but we are planning to, five yrs ago he cheated on me, I discover him trough an email and a fb conversation in which he said to the other person that he was not interested in continue the relationship, that the alcohol and the problems with me was the main reason he did it, I forgave him because he ended the relationship before I was aware of the affaire and because at the time I was in a deep depression and this had a strong impact on our relationship. I tried really hard to trust him again but still I checked his cellphone periodically until after one party when I was really drunk checked his phone and found that he had a chat with a friend's sister, she is 5 years younger than him, the messages were innocent although I felt at the time that some were missing, I send her a message through his phone telling her that I didn't like she messaging my bf, I didn't call her names but the next day I felt bad because I know her and I don't want to be a psycho gf, so from that day on I stop snooping on my bf, he don't believe I stopped but he accepted it as a consequence for having cheated on me, today I had to use his phone because I bought a plane ticket and the itinerary was sent to his email, I did this with his consent, but when I opened his mail I saw an unopened mail from his political cousin ex, they were a couple like 4 yrs ago and to my knowledge she went back to Cuba from where she is, so I read the email and she called him sweetie and promised to write him like he liked it when she gets home, I confronted my bf and he denied to have a virtual relationship with her, I don't know if she is really in Cuba, I believe so, her fb profile says she is in Cuba but I'm not 100% sure, I called her in front of him because I was really upset and she said I was misinterpreting everything, I don't know what to do, how can I trust him after everything? I feel really worn out, if he haven't cheated on me before I would have accepted his apologies and explanations, he is really caring about me and treats me well but I'm sick of having to worry about him and someone else, and I feel I don't deserve to find this nasty surprises when I'm trusting him. 

Tags: Alcohol;

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Wednesday, August 17, 2016 2:19 PM

Honestly some people cheat and actually feel shitty about it and dont do it again. And i think your boyfriend is one of these people. The fact that he ended the relationship with the girl he was cheating on you with goes to show that he does want to keep things with um he didnt end that relationship with that girl because u found out and he had too, he ended it because he himself realized it was bad. He also lets you chevk his phone, realizing that this is a consequence of his mistake . i have depression too and i definitely have a hard time trustig people. My boyfriend was talking to his ex girlfriend (who cheated on him twicd) even though i told him i dont like her cause she has no character (she cheated on him once, he broke up witb her and she cried and begged for forgiveness and he took her back and then she went ahead and cheatrd on him again and left him for the other guy) and when i found out lol i swear i dont trust him to this day. it is hard to trust peoppe though because you dont know their true intentions, and i can tell his actions have put u in a rlly bad self blaming mode. You are not a psycho girlfriend - ur a human who values herself and doesnt want to give herself to someone who doesnt care. I say take a break from him. Cool down and focus on yourself, focus on your happiness. That is what i did and its a really good place to be, noone can bring u down once you are strong in yourself. That way you create your own world, instead of making someone else your world and that gives u more control over your life. After u distance yourself from the situation u will be able to think wiser and come to a resolution you are comfortable with. Try it out. I did all the things i am suggesting you to do and just a word of caution, when u take a break make it no contact because it becomes hard to stay in contact and not act as a couple. In the long run its difficult but worthwhile. Tell me how it goes!

Saturday, September 17, 2016 6:14 AM

We can't know the truth of what has really happened. Based on what you have said, I think you are being too sensitive about things. Relax and accept him and don't be overly suspicious. If he's cheating you will find out sooner or later.  But if he's not cheating then your suspiscions might end bringing your relationship to an end. 


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