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Can't outsmart someone smarter than you...

My husband cheated on me

Thursday, December 24, 2015 8:59 AM by Smartypants Rating: +2|-5

Recently, my husband and a close mutual friend of ours have become very close. This friend is a lesbian, a very masculine one...with a fiancé she is in love with, so of course I've never had any issues with the friendship. that is until recently. I read some texts between them this week, and was shocked to see that both him and her were talking to each other in a way that neither of them should have been...especially not him. Calling each other "boo", telling each other they loved each other. Him texting her at work, asking if her "sexy ass" was still slaving away. Both of them telling each other often how much they missed each other, and him responding with "I need some of you in my life". He also went as far as to let her know that she "is absolutely the most beautiful, amazing person" he's ever met. When I confronted them both about this, she apologized immediately, telling me she should've told me about him being direct, but she never thought he ever meant anything by it in a romantic manner, and she certainly didn't...as she doesn't condone cheating or sneaking around. He responded with telling me I was paranoid, worried about nothing, that she "is one of the dudes", just his best friend. 

I decided a few days later to do some investigating myself. I found the pinger app, which allows you to create a real phone number, and text and call VIA this app. I created an account, went into his phone while he slept, blocked her REAL number, and swapped it out for the pinger number. I was curious to see if he would text her like this any further. The very next day, he texts her, telling her I'm "crazy", and apologizes to her for my behavior, because she didn't deserve to be drug into it. He also lets her know that he put a password on his phone, and she can continue to call and text him "however she fucking wants". So I use the next few days to be "her": making small talk daily, asking about mine and his relationship. Nothing unusual. Until this morning. He texts wishing "her" a merry Christmas Eve, I ask if he works, he says yes, and asks why? Then asks if I'd maybe like to get dinner after he leaves work. I ask if the real me would be upset by this, and he says he didn't plan on telling me, that what I don't know won't hurt me. So I kick it up a notch. I pretend to "confess" I may have feelings for him, just to see what his reaction would be. He totally buys in! He asks if they're anything like "what I told you in the car ride home from work" (I still don't know what this was...), so I say yes, and that im ashamed because he's married and I'm her friend as well. He said he understands completely and he has feelings too, but they can't be ignored. So I ask if he would be willing to "try" something with me, if it wasn't crossing a line. He says "absolutely! I just don't want it to be something you regret". This is my breaking point. I call him and tell him he's busted, and that me and her devised a plan a few days prior, after I was upset about the original texts, to see if he would take it further, and he did. He tells me he "knew" he was being set up, and that's the only reason he said any of it.

What should I do? 

Tags: Friend;

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Comments

Thursday, December 24, 2015 3:30 PM
Angel

😂😂😂 You a bad bitch. <-------THATS A COMPLEMENT IN HOOD LANGUAGE... That's a question  only you can answer.You know your husband. look deep inside how much you  love him and if it's worth  it  fight for your man. ask why he would even cross that line. it's Christmas  tomorrow tell him your going to give him a chance to  give you a Christmas  present that will decide both of your fate. It's up to him to figure it  out. It won't matter if it's a cheap or expensive  gift. It has to be meaningful. maybe somenthing  from your past. A word a song anything  that reminds you of the love ya'll share. It should be some thing that melts your heart and make you cry. If it has no meaning even if it's expensive handed back to him and say goodby. 💔

 
Saturday, July 23, 2016 7:48 PM
Guest

Hi,

Thanks for sharing your story.

She needs to go for good, so make a plan and make it happen. If this does not solve it, and he either continues with her or others then leave him. Also look objectively to your relationship and see if it can be improved. Try to talk to him openly about why he would do that. When he talks, listen, do not interrupt, get defensive, cry or make comments ... Rather listen, understand, think deeply about it then decide if he is making sense. If he is, work hard to save your marriage, if not then leave. Remember, it is not about outsmarting him or competing with him to show him how good you are, but it is about saving your marriage and being there for the love of your life ... If that is him!

Good luck.

H

 
Wednesday, September 28, 2016 2:46 PM
TheBestAdvice

I know this is an old post and youve probably worked this out months ago. I think you need to remove both of them from your world. 

 

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