Sunday, April 17, 2016 5:47 PM by Guest
I was in a relationship with my ex for almost three years. I found out from his friend that he was cheating on me behind my back such as sleeping with girls he knew from the past and ex-girlfriends. I always had a suspicion and deep fear that he was cheating on me when we were together because I would find messages from girls on his phone and the many times that he lied. I confronted him over abd over again about all of the things I found on his phone but he lied and even tried to make it seem like I was the one who did something wrong because I had looked through his phone. He knew that I was vulnerable, insecure, and easy to take advantage of because I struggled with my body image and self-esteem. He was also my first boyfriend and the guy that I lost my virginity to. He knew I had no one to run to since I made him a priority, I didn't talk to my friends and didn't spend much time with my family because everyday that I get off of work, I would rush home to get ready to go see him and spend the night with him. I would literally do anything for him so that he would stay with me. Many times I stayed at his house and cooked, cleaned, and did his laundry like a wife but he doesn't appreciate that, he continued to make me feel small by criticizing me about everything. He knew I was afraid to lose him and he made me afraid of him. He had many previous relationships before me and he knew that he was my first and only serious boyfriend. I was an easy target for him for he knew how to manipulate me. The first time that I found out he was cheating was when we got into a fight and broke up, he then went to the club with his friends later that night. He got into a fight with someone at the club and called me in the middle of the night to come over and spend the night with him. I told him I couldn't because I had to work early so he slept with a girl that was friends of his roommate. Since then, I should've ran as fast as I could and not look back but I chose not to because I felt ashamed that I had lost my virginity and that no guy will ever love me. I also had so many flaws and insecurities at that time. We talked about how he could do something like that to me the next day and his reason was we broke up. He slept with someone else right away after we broke up??? I still couldn't wrap my head around this but I felt like I needed to stay with him because he was my first. Don't ever look at it that way girls, when someone proves time and time again that he doesn't love and respect you, you are not obligated to stay, it's not worth it. The next time I found out he cheated on me was with an ex-girlfriend. He and I got into a horrible argument and he messaged his ex-girlfriend. This all happened the next day, he took her out and invited her to spend the night. I found out only by looking at his phone and this was a girl that I had knew so I asked her about what happened between them because I felt like he was not telling he the truth. He said that they were just "friends" even though I saw a flirty message from her to him about wanting to cuddle together. I questioned him about what had happened that night and he just lies and lies. He said that nothing happened between them and that they just hung out. I didn't believe his story because I had talked to this girl beforehand and she told me they had sex. After questioning him about it for over an hour, he finally said that she gave him a blow job, that was all. That turned out to be a lie. But I still choose to be with him because we had been together for almost two years at that time and that I was afraid to start over. We had so much ups and downs during our relationship but I had never been unfaithful and how he could do this to me over and over again really makes me feel depresed and that I wasn't good enough so he could treat me anyway he wanted to. Since I had found out about him cheating by looking at his phone, he decided to change his passcode and said that it wasn't right for me to look through his phone without asking him. Even when I asked to look at his phone, his answer would be no even though he said that all I needed to do was ask. The next time he cheated on me was with someone he had been sleeping with on and off since he was with me. After a very bad fight sometime later, we broke up but was talking and working things out like he said but he was just saying that as an excuse and a reason to keep me on the side while he can sleep around and search for a new girlfriend. I confronted him about him cheating because I saw a weird message on his Facebook. I came over to his house and demanded to get my things. Things got heated and he aid he fucked ___ and I began to slap him and screamed how could you do this to me? I couldn't help but cry. We exchanged words and then he proceeded to kick me really hard as I was pulling on his coat and screaming. I thought that was the final straw but I didn't leave him since we were together for over two years then. I agreed to forgive him but deep down I couldn't trust him. Everytime I left for work, I would think he is sleeping with someone else. I was very attached to the relationship and vowed to do anything to make it work. I gave him another chance only to find out he was cheating on me way before we broke up. He got very sick, lost his job, and had to get two different operations. Through both of his surgeries, I took care of him and stood by his side. I slept overnight in the hospital both times and even missed work just to take care of him. Things became good between us as we were almost reaching three years together but he moved away. Before he moved away, he was talking to other girls behind my back and broke up with me the day he was moving away. Once he got to the new state, he immediately got a new girlfriend and when it didn't work out, he begged to come back to me. Like a fool, I took him back even though I had doubts about us working out. When we got into arguments a short time later and broke up, he wasted no time talking to other girls, I found out he was talking to someone in Honduras and was even sending this girl money. He lives with one of her relatives. During all of this, we were still together. I had to get an operation and was counting for him to be there for me the way I was for him but he didn't care because he and the girl he had been talking to had been dating even before he and I broke up. I was so mad so I posted the whole ordeal to his Facebook. He came back to the state that I live in visiting friends and tried to get me to take off everything on his social media by saying that we can work things out if I delete everything. He was just lying as soon as I deleted everything, he stopped talking to me. I am so disgusted about how someone can do something like this to another human being and there are still days when I feel so depressed, bitter, and resentful. Later I found out while he was talking to this Honduras girl, he was sleeping and talking to someone else behind her back. The same thing he did to me. I am so hurt by everything he has done to me and sometimes I blame myself for not leaving but I am learning slowly how to let go and move on. I hope that my story can help someone out there. If someone doesn't love you and isn't afraid to show you that, let them go, the sooner the better. Don't put yourself through hell just trying to get someone to love you. For the longest time, I felt beyond depressed and very empty but I am getting better. Never settle, love yourself first and you will eventually find someone who will love everything about you. We're just humans so don't beat yourself up and when someone cheats on you, it has a lot to do with their lack of character and empathy. Karma is real and God can see.