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My boyfriend cheated on me

Saturday, July 16, 2016 6:37 PM by Helpless girll. Rating: +3|-1

Me and my boyfriend, 'John', have been together for a year and a few weeks now. Before I got with him I had a boyfriend and I thought I loved him but he cheated on me and I wasn't surprisingly too hurt by it. I guess we just said we loved each other to keep masking that we weren't the ones for each other. So after that relationship, about 7 months later, I met my current boyfriend 'John'. We started off as just friends, of course. Then we got to know each other and we fell in love. Trust me, I'm trying not to make it sound boring but that's how we met. No big deal. So we were just madly madly in love. We loved eachother so much and would do anything. Absolutely anything for eachother, we fought a lot, yes. But we always fought through it. He is it for me, he is going to be my husband and he is going to be the father of my children. I only have eyes for him and don't see any other guy as someone I would even try to care about more than 'John' . So we're both really young. I being 18 he being 19. In January he let me know that he wanted to join the air force and would be gone for 8 weeks for camp. Of course I was sad, so so very sad. It would not only be sad because of the 8 weeks but come on. Who wants their bf to be in that? (Although there is nothing wrong with it. Thank you to all who have served) but I was just very worried. So through the 8 weeks I was pretty much either asleep or trying to keep myself busy. Since they're not allowed to have their phone except on the 7th week which is prepping for graduation week. He got his phone on the 7th week for one day, which was graduation day. On that day he text me and man was I elated. He accidently added me into this group chat and it was with a girl. So me being petty lol.. I asked her who she was and she told me that she was Johns girlfriend. Now I never suspected that he was ever cheating on me because I'd be on his phone all the time and he'd let me go through everything and anything and I knew all his passwords and everything so I had no idea how. But he managed and she was being very nice and civil. So I talked to her and found out that they'd been together for 3 months. I was broken, I told him and he said yes it was true and apologized with all of that "I swear I only was in love with you" shit. So when I found that out I was eating with family because it was on a Sunday and after church. I walked out and just completely broke down. Crying and screaming after I got away from civilization and my family. I hurt so bad and wished to just never known that he was cheating. It may seem stupid but Im to this day not as happy as I was before. I wanted to die.. that's what love can do. It can singlehandedly kill you without a weapon. And I was begging it would just put out this pain. By this point my family was of course wondering what happened and went looking for me and blah blah blah. My cousin found me and asked what's wrong and I made up an excuse about my anxiety. My heart literally hurt, when people say it doesn't effect you physically, it does. I felt it through my whole body. I just wanted to pass out, I was so exhausted, so drained. I felt it through my arms, my jaw, my legs and my chest. Mainly my chest because it felt as if I was slowly shutting down. I ended it with him and when he came back I was far gone into my deep depression. I would lost a ton of weight, lost a ton of sleep and a lot of my will to live. Im not going to go to detail but he wouldnt be ready to hear what was running through my head. He can straight to my house and tried to talk to me but I was just not ready to even think of him. Lord I was dreading him coming. I knew he was so it was simple, just break up with him. Right? No.. no no. That's not what happens when you give your all to someone you love. That's not what happens when you don't have the strength to try and find someone you know you wouldn't be as happy with as him. Him. He was the one that deliberately made your smile shine, your face glow. He was the one that ruined everything you thought was love. He was the one that swore to the gods that he loved you. I bet he was telling me he loved me while he moaned her name. I couldn't get over him, I was drained every single day. I couldn't help but think of all the countless times he made me happy. So I got back with him, to this day I still cry at night thinking Im not good enough. I'm not this and I'm not that. So no, I'm not completely happy but I'm not lost. Itll take patching but it won't be so soon. This isn't the best ending but when is there a good ending? 

Thank you for voting.


Thursday, July 21, 2016 12:21 AM

U would have a good future why are you wasting time with dat boy who did care your feelings. When he can cheat both girls once why not the second time. I know its hard time for u to break but im sure ul never regret for the decision. Never create pain because u dint cheat him..and need not b cheated nd suffer yourself..come out of that world make urself busy .. ul soon forget the past nd b normal..firstly avoid him..he cant do anything other than apologizing you or convincing dont get carried u and first and foremost love yourself to the peaks

Sunday, July 24, 2016 2:34 PM

I dated a cheater few years back. My current boyfriend might be one, too. i can't tell because he's currently back in his country. 

I have 2 STDs, recently recovered from pre cervical cancer, and have suffered from clinical depression and social anxiety for 5 years. I'm almost 25 and still haven't completed my bachelors degree. So I am one of those who often feels worthless. I am sensitive and gullible at times. I am submissive, and I admit I can be as good as a doormat.

I have bullied and been bullied. I have dumped and been dumped. Based on my dating experiences, I can assure you that your relationship will only anchor you down to the lowest of your lowest bottom. 

When people say there's plenty of fish in the ocean, they're not kidding. I don't recommend dating people from dating sites, or getting a sugar daddy like I did, but trust me, giving yourself many chances is worth it. I've been dating guys from different continents and I'm not even done exploring. When I'm dating someone new, I often think to myself "oh he's probably my next ex boyfriend".

The best thing to do is to prepare for the worst: people are nasty.

Girl, my advice to you- leave him. Don't let him manipulate you. When I got out of my longest relationship, it took me 6 months to stop crying. I was a cryer. I cried the whole 4 years with him day and night. He cheated on me and I took him back. He bullied me and I never put up for myself. I learnt to forgive him and to forgive myself. I learnt to develop some pride. I saw the movie Pride and learnt to own myself. No matter who I am, or what I have; I am a brilliant young woman who lost herself for years and now needs to pick herself up, I have STDs but so what? My asset's my brain, not my body. 

Find your niche and focus on that. Pick up new hobbies. Anything at all; keep trying new things. I learnt the hardest way to recover from depression. I tried everything... sports, yoga, vegan, correcting my body clock, reading, makeup, wardrobe makeover. Keep trying new things. Change your habits. But what made me change was my own mindset. As soon as I learnt to forgive and to accept, I woke up one morning and I was conscious of the transformation. I just felt like "gosh I haven't felt this good in years". I matured overnight.

Trust me. It's a bliss to be able to love yourself. You'll view the world differently. Unfortunately for me I had to experiment with myself to do that. I honestly like staying single. There's plenty of fish in the ocean, but no one told me to go fishing so what the heck, I'm not gonna. 

Sunday, July 24, 2016 2:45 PM

Take a step back from the tree and look at the whole forest. 

Keep in mind evil will stay evil. People are dying and we are lucky enough to live and to love. Try to relate your pain to other people. 

Think of a way to help them. Maybe sharing your pain with others can help ease it. Try getting active with charities. You'll see these people in need are a thousand times better than your boyfriend. And they deserve your time and effort more than him. 

But before anything, dump him, focus on yourself, and love yourself. 


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