I am a female jazz musician and there aren't a lot of us around, so getting a man's attention is very very easy, and it usually happens unintentionally. A bandmate of mine (I will call him Tom) who was (and is) very attractive began texting and snapchatting me a lot. Nothing inappropriate, we just became quite close friends. Meanwhile my boyfriend (I will call him Nick), who I love very very much was going through a frustrating time in his life. He wasn't open with me and he made me feel terrible about myself, albeit unintentionally. He was between jobs and he didn't have time for me. Tom, however, made me feel great. One night, we both admitted to each other than we had feelings for each other. I tried to keep Nick in the loop, and I even told him about my feelings for Tom, but he blew me off and said he didn't care. A couple weeks later, Tom and I were hanging out at my house (it was a small gathering but the others had left by this point), we were drunk, and we talked about potentially hooking up. I debated it for awhile, but finally decided to, in my impaired state. I cried myself to sleep and I contemplated suicide for several months. I stopped being friends with Tom, and Nick's state of mind greatly improved. He has a new job and he treats me well and he shows me respect. I have never told him about Tom.