Saturday, September 10, 2016 3:02 AM by Guest
So I have been dating my bf for 7 years. I was 18 when we started dating. I was extremely naive and innocent then. I loved him and only him. I believed in some kind of story book romance.
But he was never like that. In the start he was very embarrassed to show any affection. I was a little insecure and always felt that I embarrassed him. It hurt but I always tried my best to show him affection. be there for him emotionally and give him all the sexual pleasure he wanted. But he was also a compulsive liar. He admits that. Slowly I had started realizing this. I used to be very upset when I found out that he was lying.
A couple of years after we started dating, he had to move away for college. We would see each other alternate weekends but other than that he had his own life in the city that he moved to. He was still the center of my world. Eventually he made friends in the new city, would hang out and party with them a lot and I was stuck at home. There was one particular girl that he was very close to. I had never heard of her until one day when I visited him. She was hot and pretty cool as well. It seemed he was pretty close to her but I knew nothing about her. Over the years we have had many MANY fights about her. And till date he lies to me whenever he meets her.
Four years or so in the relationship, he came back home and I moved to another city for a few months. For the first time I was away from home and had a blast partying with some new friends. But these friendships were strictly platonic. When I got back after a few months, he seemed distant. He broke up with me in a few days. He says the reason was coz I completely ignored him during those few months. After that I moved to another city 2-3 hours away from him.
Of course I tried to get back with him but he wouldn't agree. After a couple of months I had decided to start moving on. That's when he came back. We slept together again but decided to not get together. We used to have sex on weekends. On weekday, I was newly single and opening up to the idea of flirting with random new guys. All the attention I got made me realize that I was actually pretty fun! I made lots of new friends.
On one of the weekends, I saw a few messages on my ex-bf's phone which were from the girl that I used to hate. All kisses and lovey dowey talks. The kind he would never have with me before. But they were not dating. I decided to never go through his messages again but also decided to go ahead and have some fun on the side. As it is we were not exclusive now. During that period my ex-bf also mentioned that he had kissed that girl that I hated while we were dating. Later he denied it. Later he said the same thing again but the situation he described was different. At the same time, I had a hell lot of male attention. I had a few flings and had fun! I guess that's how I got used to two timing.
An year ago, we started dating again. But I never trusted him. His lies continued but I had become so used to it that I simple went ahead and two timed some more and got over it.
I still cheat. I have been sleeping with a guy for the past few months and I absolutely love him. I know we can never be together and so does he but we both love spending time together. He flaunts me like I always wanted to be flaunted, he takes care of me, shows me love in the little things. My bf almost found out about it a few days ago. Of course I denied everything. I feel I deserve to fill the void that he left years ago. I know it's selfish. But I just had to get this all out there.