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Close friend tried to hook up with husband, can the friendship be mended?

My husband cheated on me

Wednesday, May 4, 2016 5:42 AM by Guest Rating: +8|-2

My husband recently confessed to me that he and a close friend of ours tried to hook up..He stated that she initiated it and asked him if he ever thought about hooking up.He said for a few weeks they would talk and text over the phone discussing what they wanted to do to each other and try to set up a time to do it.He said before long they both decided it wasn't a good idea due to my suspicion and thier guilt and they didn't go through with anything. I of course am upset, i literally hung out with her3 days a week.Our husbands have known each other all their life.Our children are close friends, hell she was in my wedding.I feel betrayed by both. And she denied it intil i gave her the details. Her husband doesn't know yet. I have cut off contact with her and I am trying to work through it with my husband., however I was told im overreacting to cut off all contact with her and I need to put our children first (Our children are 2 and 3.)and try to mend the relationship. Any ideas?

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Comments

Wednesday, May 4, 2016 1:21 PM
Guest

Whoever told you that you are overreacting has no empathy! How can you keep up with her, for gods sake. You can try to mend your marriage by overcoming this problem. First thing, I undisputedly would stop talking to that woman -since she can not let go and tell you what was going on- . If we look at the bright side, your husband was at least honest with you unlike your friend. Do not keep things inside, it would make you sick. Let it out, talk to your husband and try to understand what was the reason. It does not mean he can justify however maybe it would help you to recover. If you are planning to save this marriage, you will need to forgive your husband. I would make sure that he wont do it again. And that depends on how good you express yourself. 

 
Friday, May 6, 2016 5:04 AM
Fritz

I would left the 'husband' and also the 'friend' too. Why? Because, first of all no friend should ever done this 'thing' to their friend. It doesn't matter if they're married or not. No friend should've done it. Secondly, why i would left the 'husband' is because clearly he cheat on you. Even worse, with 'your married friend'. And whoever told you that you overreacted, tell them if you try to hook with their partner, what would they do? If your husband is the one who told you that, tell him that you wanted to hook up with one of his bestfriend and better you wanted to hook up with 'your friend's' husband, then see how will he react to that.. Everybody always said that payback is a **tch. About your children, tell them nicely what happened. You cannot kept them in the dark for a long time, they need to know what happened with their parents. Do not be ashamed of it, it is not even your fault. It's their fault. Do discuss this thing nicely with 'her' husband. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You might save 'her' husband life and their childrens' before her infidelity 'pop out' with anyone's husband again. About saving the marriage, I'll rather not. Your husband told you because he's feeling guilty, not because he's really sorry. You may forgive him but you will never forget. Then, because of one thing, you will started to become insecure because of him. I rather left my husband than blaming myself because of his infidelity. Or deep in your heart, you wanted your husband to feel the same as you feel, so maybe you started 'something' with 'someone'. And then, you will feel guity. I rather walked out of this relationship with my head held high. Your husband doesn't even deserved a tiny bit of your love. He will never accept your 'friend' invitation, if he loved you enough. I maybe sound a bit feminist but if a man make you feel unworthy, dump him immediately. He's bad for your life. I hope you make good decision. Wish you the best in your life woman! And remember this, it isn't your fault that he cheated on you, it's his.

 

P/S: Sorry about my grammar though..

 
Saturday, May 7, 2016 6:03 AM
Guest

Check out the story on Friday about Update ... Swinging.  Looks like we were played, she started it and now regrets the incident and is in total denial.

 
Thursday, May 19, 2016 5:43 AM
Lanah102

Cant believe you would consider ever speaking to this woman. Remember! The overreaction comments always come from those trying to mitigate the impact of their actions.

 
Monday, June 6, 2016 10:48 AM
Guest

See if You can meet w/ Her Husband in private.

Talk Him into Seduceing His Wife for me. M

 
Monday, June 6, 2016 10:55 AM
Guest

I want to seduce somebody's wife. 

I would love it even more if He was

there to help or watch & cheer us on. 

 
Friday, June 10, 2016 1:29 PM
Guest

If you stay with the husband.... my first reaction is UM NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN. But then in the back of my mind... the saying "keep your friends close and enemies closer"..

I genuinely hope this was a fluke thing and your husband realized he should have never done this and remains faithful for many decades to come.. Don't turn into a wife who is constantly checking his phone and emails and stalking this ex friend of yours. Know that you are a strong woman and you deserve to have the peace of mind knowing your husband is yours and even if she is around he isn't tempted..... Good luck I wish you all the happiness in the world.

 
Tuesday, June 28, 2016 5:38 PM
Unidentified Specimen

What caught my attention is the fact that they didn't go through with it because you were becoming suspicious.... What? So the love for you wasn't behind the fact that he decided not to, it was due to you being "suspicious". I for think you did the correct choice elimating communication with her. Although, I just hope by ending contact with her, it means. She shouldn't be near your husband and she shouldn't expect caual conversations. Although, the children should be allowed to continue frequently seeing one another.

 

Don't let the childrens suffer because the mother seem to have had some sort of sexual frustration or sexual interest.

 

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