Wednesday, April 27, 2016 2:03 PM by Guest
How do I start this...
Well I've been dating my fiance for about 10 years now; we've been engaged for two years and the wedding is coming up soon. She's a fenominal woman, smart, funny, athletic, you name it, she's a very well rounded person. We've been dating since high school and we've watched each other grow up to be pretty decent individuals. We both have multiple college degrees, make good money, have nice things, I even bought a house for us in which we both live in together with our dog. Over our time dating I cheated on her (back when I was young and dumb). We worked it out and moved on but every now and then, old wounds become raw again and it seems she still has a problem with it (not saying she doesn't have every right not to). Till this day I've always blamed the insident it on my hormonal youth. The last few years has thrown my conclusion to my infidelitiy to the curb though. I'm older, more mature and know better but I still find myself flirting with TONS of women. I find myself flirting with women when I'm out with friends or even on social media. I've flirted with at least 20 women throughout my time in our relationship. Although I don't take it too far to the point of having sex but I've made out with a handful of women (not saying that isn't cheating either). I don't know what's wrong with me! I love her, no doubt, hell I even spent THOUSANDS extra on a ring for her just to make sure she likes it. I try to listen to her, tell her how beautiful she is, take care of things for her, surprise her with fun dates and activities, clean the house so she doesn't have to spend too much time on chores, you name it. I don't see myself setteling down with any other woman other than her.
My fiance is attractive, smart and caring; most of my friends wish they had a woman like her in their lives, but somehow I feel like there is a part of our relationship that isn't working. Our sex life is ok, it's not by far the best but it's beautiful when it happens. We were hot and heavy back in the day but for the last two-three years, we have sex about once a month. Sometimes I think she agrees to do it because she thinks I'll go find it somewhere else (which I wouldn't at all). When I flirt with other women and they tell me what they're into/down for or I listen to the sex escapades my buddies share, I realize how medocare our sex is and how much I want to try these other things. I've tried taking it a bit further by telling her what new things I want to try but its pretty difficult when you can't even get a "yes" to sex, let alone spice things up.
Outside of the bedroom, she's so focused on the tasks at hand and everything else to the point where she forgets about me. I try to give her kisses here and there but she doesn't respond to it, I try to hold her hand but she somehow wants to wiggle out of it or keep her phone in her hand. I'm a pretty decent looking guy, I work out, I dress nice, I keep myself well put together and I get more looks, smiles and compliments from other women more than I get from her. The most I get from her most of the time is "nice shirt". Maybe I'm just asking for too much, she's my love, and if she feels like she doesnt need to compliment me then that should be fine. I'm not going to force her. I try not to be some nagging dude but it'll be nice to have a woman show her affection every now and then, just the way women love when a man showers them with all that good stuff.
I know I'm not some saint that deserves all the good of a relationship, but I feel like even if I was, something still feels like it's missing.
Is this why I find myself responding to other women's passes? Because I get cold reponses from my finace? Am I some freako who can't keep his damn hands to himself? I just need some insite on this.