Tuesday, April 26, 2016 8:00 AM by Guest
My boyfriend, Cody and I have been dating (very) on and off for the past five years. We started dating when we were 13 and in seventh grade. We are both now 18 and finishing up senior year. Over the past four years of high school together, we have had many falling outs, many breakups and many fights. There have been cases of infidelity before on both sides, however, I have never actually cheated on him. About two months ago we started getting back together again after being broken up for 6 months because Cody cheated on me with another girl from our school. This past breakup was the worst and by far the hardest for me. Watching him be with her months after he cheated on me was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, so when he ended things with her and eventually came back I was reluctant to get back together but still did. Things are different now between us. Cody is more loving, more mature. He really puts a lot of effort into showing me how much he wants to be with me after high school, and most of all how much he loves me. He leaves for the navy in six months and he expects us to stay together and me to be at home waiting for him. Cody is a really sweet, generous man now. And I do love him very much. However, I cannot get rid of his burning desire to cheat on him....
i don't want to go out and cheat on Cody but there is a guy I go to school with who had me very tempted. This guy, Nathan, and I have already have one sexual encounter. He cheated on his ex-girlfriend with me one night a few weeks after I found out Corey cheated on me. (As you can see, I have myself wrapped up with a lot of cheaters.) I don't like or love this guy, but I'm very infatuated with him and he is with me as well. We have texted and liking each other's stuff on social media, and he has made it apparent he wants to "be" with me again. I know cheating is wrong. I know it is. But back inside my head I can't help this voice that tells me that if I do it once and never again it's okay. It's not, but I still can't rid of this burning desire to do it. Cody has no idea I feel this way. Nathan won't tell Cody about us texting because I never told his ex about what happened between us, and Nathan and Cody are friends. But if Cody knew I had been speaking to Nathan we would be over (he knows about our one hookup). However, I feel guilty for talking to Nathan and I also feel guilty for not telling Cody how I really feel. I have been with him for five years, we took each other's virginity and we were both our first loves. It's hard for me to let him go and even harder for me to be honest with him and tell him it's possible I might be falling out of love with him. The fact he cheated on me and left me for the mistress temporarily also adds on to my temptation to cheat on him with Nathan. I don't know what to do. I'm very stuck. I've left myself with three options. 1) Don't cheat. And just remove the desire from my mind. 2) Cheat. And see how it makes me feel afterwards. 3) Tell Cody how I really feel. However, 3 is a hard option for me because I am unfortunately a coward and don't know how to be honest with him when I know it'll hurt him.
Please send advice.... I know it's hard to judge someone else's relationship but if anyone has ever been in a situation such as this please help. Xo