Any woman who doesn't see a problem with having a guy but her drinks has cheating in her heart. It doesn't matter if she has cheated or not, because she will someday. You should just leave her. You won't be able to change her heart. 

It has happened to me. I am married with 2 kids and my best girl friend and I went on a vacation together for 5 days in Florida. we wnet out a coupe of nights to clubs and men were talking to us  and buyingus drinks( and yes when a man buys a woman drinks  he expects something) well the first night we did it i was tipsy  and 2 men felt me up and toungue kissed me one of them had his hand in my panties.  the second  night that we did go out  we met 4 business men at the club and  they invited us back to there condo. well all 4r had sex with me the first one was very nice  soft and sweet talking me and somehow he got me in one of the bedrooms and after he siad lets have a drink  he got up to go get drinks  and one of the other guys came in  and  yes all 4 did it to me.  to this day my husband  does not know and I am ashamed.  And yes they all did my girl friend to  she is married.  the one guy was telling the others  see I told you married women are easiest women to get in bed.

Married women are THE BEST.....

THat would be telling, woluldn';t it?

Ha ha

About the same.....grteat wasn't it?

yes they all were great in bed they will do anything

nice conversation guys.  i will tell you why us married women are easy to get in bed, because our husbands are wham bam thank oyu mam  and then go to sleep

what a hot  room  Dorttie  you sound hot   how many have fucked you besides your husband    I would love to read your story

Since the first time I cheated about 7 men  I do have  2 men that live out of town  that are fuck buddys  when they are in town

What kind of details,  I have a hot pussy

I was shopping and stopped to have lunch sitting outside The place was busy and a man was looking for a seat  and he asked if he could sit down. he was very nice  lots of complimenyts  bought me a couple of drinks and started flirting with me,  he had a hotel room a few blocks  he was here on business and I was very horny that day   I had not had sex in a week.   well i went to his room with him

Was it great? Did you feel guilty? Is he one of your regulars now?

Who wants to know?

ha ha....

love details Dottie...........

I am 37 5"3 125 lbs   brown hair  brown eyes 34 C neatly trimmed

Wow....double wow

.

You sound fantastic...no wonder the guys are after you.

And sexy too....!!!!!!

Dottie....please don't tell me that you're gone!!!

Next trip plan ahead and follow her. You will het all the info you need. And yes she fucked someone else1

i agree with you 100% jon. dottie needs to get lost she is a screwed up character. but speaking on character you have to check your wifes. For example my sister is married and her and her girlfriends do the same thing as your wife and her friends but my sister is the leader in the pack and all the women follow her so if she doesnt do it they wont. Who is your wife in the bunch is she the leader or the follower and will she do anything to please them and will she do whatever they do. If a man gets with her friend what will she do. A lot of women act like that because her friend acts like that. My wife has cut off a few of her friends because shes not out looking for a man. When my wife goes witht the girls its to GET AWAY FROM MEN and not to attract them but some of her friends are single so she could understand that if a man is infront of them then take the chance so my wife gave those women up. and i didnt make her do that it was her choice. So you have to gage your wifes character. you need to hope she doesnt have split personanlity. Shes a wife when shes with you and single when shes with her friends. good luck my friend

Install a VAR in her car. Its cheap and easy.  Be sure to velcro underneath her seat.  You will get plenty of intel.  Also install a key logger.  Right now your gut is screaming.  Always believe your gut.  Do not confront anymore or you will drive this underground.  Keep digging.  You will get your answer. 

Sounds like sound advice. Last night she was out on a girls night out and I was out myself. I knew where she was going and she knew where I was going.  All of the sudden she brings her girlfriends into the bar that I'm at and comes over to me like a very in love woman, she and her friends joined us as if we had all,planned a night out together. She acted like a good wife should, sat by me as we all talked, she flirted with me and I with her.  It was a great night. We had a few drinks, talked, laughed and it was awesome.  She had her hand on my leg the entire time, just letting me know that I'm hers and she's mine.  This whole night just took me by surprise. It gave me such hope. (When they showed up they were all dressed well but not slutty and it was about 8:30pm so it's not like they were done and wanted to just hang out with us.)

am I reading into her Florida trip too much?

Jon

Your wife probably senses your suspicions from your asking about her trips.  That little visit to your bar was probably to throw you off the scent.  How many other times has she done that?  

Ok. Some sound advice. All the women are married. I know them all very well and to be honest they are all very good women.  I would never think that any of them would cheat on their husbands just as don't think mine would. 

To answer some earlier questions, my wife is very well educated and she is the "group leader" if there really is such a thing. By that I mean that she is the one who makes the contacts and initiates the girls getting together.  Our life together is really great. Many younger couples often say that they hope to have what we have as a married couple. My wife is a very affectionate gal and we have no issues with pda. 

Her trips are normally in the spring before the vacationers start their trek to the keys. For her to come to a bar that I'm at with the guys is not way out of the ordinary but during her girls night out its out of character. Some days when I head out and she wants to sit in, she will get bored maybe lonely then come and join me.  If I'm with my buddies and she is the only woman she is never made to feel like she's not really welcome.  My friends all like her, she's easy to like and she's easy on the eyes. I do notice my friends checking her out from time to time but heck, we are guys we do look. 

My real concerns are that she puts herself in an awkward position down in the keys.  I truly believe that the other girls would not put up with any other doing something so stupid but as many guys have learned, women do not always stay loyal even when their husbands feel that they would.  I'm a realist, my head isn't in the sand. 

One reply here suggests that I just sit down with her and talk about my concerns  I've tried, I really have and she does not get offended or mad, she just says I'm being silly.  Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.  I need her to acknowledge what she's doing is/can be district ivy to our relationship  actually it already is because I'm here now asking for guidance.  She may just love the attention and it makes her feel good but the damage its doing to me festering.  If she is doing this for just attention, what signal is she sending these guys?  Eventually the attention may not be enough and she may go further?  I believe flirting in and of itself is a "gateway" to an affair.  Accepting an offer to dance with another guy while away with girl friends may seem fine, it's just a dance.  But a dance turns into another dance, and another soon it's a slow dance, eyes meet, guy may pull the woman in, alcohol takes away inhibitions and then he goes in for a kiss.  I know when I dance with my wife be it at weddings or in a club we go to have fun.  We dance a lot.  Then a slow dance comes on and we do exact ally what I described and it's very hot.  I could imaging a woman who is used to this treatment to accept it from another  the excitement of another guy giving her the attention.  Do all women love the attention that other men give them? I know I would enjoy a woman wanting to flirt with me but I'd never flirt back.  I'd never buy a woman a drink for any reason. If asked to dance by a woman, and I have been, I simply tell them that I only dance with my wife.  Some think it's sweet some get bothered by my remark.

 I need to sit her down and explain my feelings   Here is a thought.  It's more for any women reading this blog, if I were to copy this and have her read it, do you think it would open her eyes or would she be very upset that I went on a public forum to voice my personal concerns? My name is not Jon, I'd be wrong to post real names for obvious reasons  let me know ladies  thanks, Jon 

"As A Woman And A Wife". Thank you for your words of wisdom. You REALLY put my mind to rest. It's funny what you say because we are planning a trip to the keys next month before fantasy fest...she actually is very excited to show me her fav spots.  I'm very relieved to her from a woman with credibility, values, morals and ethics. Sorry to learn about your friend who is a cheat. I'd really hate to lose faith in my wife.  She's given me two of the greatest gifts in my children.  I will sit her down and have a discussion.  Thank you so much. Jon. 

She actually initiated the idea of us both heading down.  She seems genuine with her excitement in showing me a good time. I'm skeptical but also excited at the same time. I think it's a good sign. We will see. 

Jimmy boy, as a woman myself, I find it a bit harsh to put on edge all women, to out them all at the same level... Especially since men are statistically more likely to cheat, but thats not the point... I dont think its right for anyone to scrutinize another without a clear conviction... I have been married and been with my husband for 17 years and he means the world to me...Hurting his heart hurts mine, would never put my hubby through that kind of a situation... Woman are generally more patient and tolerant than men and are usually the ones that do everything to save a broken marriage.... Im not trying to say certain men dont but a lot dont. Through experience I know men are so much more prone to cheating than woman are, my dad has cheated on my mom, two of the three uncles I have had, my granpa has done it too, basically I was surrounded by immature cheats who use people for their benefits..., even though I honor them as family members I am furious and disgusted i hvent had a good solid example of what a loving husband should be like in my life... growing up through that experience, Ive taken a long time to completely come out of the hatred that I subconciously developed for guys categorizing all of them as horny cheats, even though I dated I secretly was disgusted by them but even I didnt know how bad it had gotten... I had extreme trust issues when guys were concerned... it took me a lot and a while but I gradually came out of that horrible prejudice toward all men, just cuz my childhood experiences with men was effed up.... it might seem strange to you but i began to slowly understand tht men really are capable of feelings  of real love compassion kindness as loyalty and that there good men as well as bad ones... i finally slowly got out of this notion that not all men are cheaters and that it was unfair to judge and always psychologically imprisoning another human being in that trap, i understood especially after I met my now husband.... Hes a wonderful man, he treats me with a lot of respect and love and always thinks of me when taking any kinda decisions... and I know he wont cheat on me.. 17 years he was with me even at the lowest point something no men in my childhood family would do for their wives if they were faced with the situations that ive gone through.... every person has temptations and chances to do wrong, not having temptations to act upon isnt what makes you the good individual, while having temptations the person to run the opposite direction is the one that has the right in heart.... men need to understand woman are humans too just as women need to understand men are human beings and all have the desire to be wanted respected and loved, loved exclusively by their spouses especially. People usually dont do things to hurt others especially their loved, close ones.. every man and woman will act as to the situations in life that made them who they are.... it rakes a lifetime to know a person and still you wont completely know them and why they do things... the bridge will only connect both ends when they are open with each other about almost everything in their life.... Real love will always conquer everything, people who dont understand the meaning of love is might say they love you, but in reality they will not love you enough to not cheat, which then i dont see how that is any sort of love at all... real love will make you turn the other way when you know what you might be about to do will hurt the person in question.... the heart of the other person will always be a priority in all things

Who is Jimmy Boy?

"As a woaman and a wife" can only speak for herself. Why is she on this site if she does not cheat?? Wha't's all that about?..See what i mean.

She can only speak for herself and not all women. Do you speak on behalf of all mankind?

I think it's safe to say she has been cheating, you know it but just dont want to accept it. Why have you come to this site if you truly have faith in her. I do get it, as an outsider we see matters as reality as to where a partner pushes back not wanting to believe the truth. 

Theres nothing wrong with sitting her down and talking about it. In a calm manner you can tell her you believe she has cheated and you can only hope she stops the lies and tells the truth. 

Jon, you are right!  There is no reason that married people need to be in a bar buying or accepting liquor or anything else from someone whose only objective is to have sex with them.  This "ladies night scam" that women have pulled on husbands has been the staple of the controlling wife's arsenal forever.  If ladies night were a trip to a museum, a really nice restaurant, the theater, or any venue where there is some appropriate entertainment, that would be cool.  But if your woman's idea of a good tim is putting on their sexiest outfit and drinking with men who care nothing about her, she is NOT a good candidate for a wife. All the while you stay at home a watch the kids like a good little slave.  Not me.  My wife goes out of town and spends time with her friends all of the time, but she doesn't frequent bars, and she doesn't accept gifts from other men.  I go out of town frequently and hang with friends, but I do not frequent bars, and I don't buy women drinks.

A girl's vacation is a great thing.  I encourage my wife to do things like that, but not if the main activity is drinking in bars with strange men.  This is not insecurity, it is the reasonable request of the man who offers no less in return.

So this is slowly blowing over.  Last night my wife springs a new event she wants with the same girls. One is having a birthday and my wife wants them all to go to a winery.  Sounds great bright? But here is the part that bothers me.  She wants no men involved and wants to stay at a hotel. Now the winery is only 20 minutes away.  I offered to "uber" for them. I said, "get the rooms you need, leave your cars there and I'll pick you up, take you to the winery where I'll drop you off for your dinner, wine tasting etc then call and I'll pick you up and drive you to the hotel" her reply was a very quick and snappy, "no" then she kind of caught herself and eased down to a "that's a nice gesture but we will figure it out". She made it pretty clear without saying it but she does not want me to know where they are staying. I offered to look up hotels in that area and she was very sternly saying that she has it under control.  I was merely trying to assist her.  This whole thing goes down this Saturday and I'm thinking about borrowing a car and following them.  My senses are going hay-wire. We have not slept together in a few weeks and that has me wondering too.  I do know the winery and its location as I've been there many times.  But for a birthday, shouldn't her husband be involved at least a little?  I'm puzzled by her secrecy and it's u settling to say the least.  I know the winery has tours, tasting, dinner and dancing.  It's a fun venue.  Perhaps due to past activities I'm being more curious than necessary.  I am looking for perspective. Let me know what you guys/gals think. 

I am planning on it. The tension in the air in my home is thick.  Man, something is definitely going on. She is acting really distant, no real eye contact, nervous actions, forgetting things.....I don't know for a fact what's on her mind but there is something. She has not come to bed with me the past 4-5 nights.  She is coming up about an hour later than usual. She's on her laptop.  I can hear her clicking. Her nails are real long. Right now she's on her cell, texting and reading with intensity.  I think tonight I'll wait til she is ready to go through bed and follow her up and just ask her what's up.  

Tension is thick because she's trying to get you off her tail. You need to follow her and then follow up

So what's the update

Yes. Now it's time to put your foot down. Tell your wife you want a divorce and why. See what she says. Tell her either she comes all the way forward or your taking a step back. Tell her no more girls nights until you guys figure this out. Contact the wife of the husband. Hell take them all out to dinner and see what the reaction is.