Why I will never agree to be in another relationship; I have reached the point where I can't trust, that women like me because they are attracted to me, or for another reason. I have always wanted to have a healthy and loving relationship, until now. Due to finding myself with women who don't want to be honest or faithful, but want a man who is. I am currently separated, and looking forward to the day that I am divorced.
It feels like only yesterday I was in high school. Long story shorter; on the first day of my junior year I had homework that needed to be printed out, knowing we didn't have any ink I asked a friend to use her printer. I walked her home like I normally did and proceeded to use her computer, well her mother did not want her to have company so that started an argument between them. I believe the next day her and her mother got into a large fight and she was kicked out or ran away. Me feeling responsible for her predicament I allowed her to stay at my house, unbeknownst to my parents. We became closer than we had been, she told me how her mother mistreated her and how a senior raped her and took her virginity. After her birthday a few months later in November we broke up for good. I soon found out from a friend that she had been cheating the whole time, and started talking to the guy before our relationship began. I also heard that she was pregnant, believing it wasn't mine, I moved on with my life and started a relationship with my soon to be ex-wife. Later on after she found out that the other man was not the father, I found out that I was. Due to the fact that she told me that I was not the father, I told my girlfriend that I didn't believe I was the father. After we found out, I was the father, my girlfriend was distraught as she never wanted to be with someone with a child. She started to hold the fact that I had a child against me although she did not want to break up. Me being young and ignorant at the time, I allowed her insecurities about where to buy abortion pill one day getting back with my sons mother and her not getting the time she used to get from me, to be a factor in the relationship. I allowed her to use it as a get out of jail free card.
One day during our third year together, my brother was in the hospital. I agreed to spend the night and watch over him. My extremely clingy girlfriend didn't want to, so this peaked my curiosity, sometime later I read her diary entry for that day to learn of her anger about guys turning down sex to hang with friends. Not exactly sure what to make of this, I did not confront her. Years later with our relationship in decline I noticed suspicious behavior from her and tried to end the relationship, which she did not want to do. We eventually did, and not a day later she was in another relationship with someone else, I proceeded to try and move on with my life, she kept calling and texting me telling me how much she missed me and wish that we could work things out. I started sleeping with her while she was ending the relationship. The day I moved back in with her I decided to read her diary since I was pretty sure she was cheating before we broke up.
Upon reading her diary I learned that day I went to the hospital to watch my brother, that she was trying to sleep with her ex; and had been and did afterwards as well. I learned also how she met the other guy she was cheating with; one day while we went out to eat with my son and her niece and nephew. Before being willing to start a new relationship with her I tried to give her an opportunity to be honest with me. She refused until I lied and told her that a mutual friend of mine and her ex told me while I was in the hospital with my brother about her and her ex and how she had been cheating. She started crying and started trying to keep me from leaving, since at this time I was past getting back together as she wanted since she couldn't be honest. She reluctantly gave me a ride home, and we fought the whole way. She wanted to know who told me and for me to stay. She was so close in my face, that I kissed her partially out of attraction, as well as fear. She started to hit me in the face, when I lost it and started chocking her and holding her against her window. I was shocked and disappointed in myself as I never put my hands on a woman before then. As she did not call the cops, and still wanted to get back together. I decided that hopefully we could put the past behind us. She shared the story with a class mate; of the time I put my hands on her, and ended up sleeping with him as well.
After some rough years we finally started to seem like we were in a good place. We found she was pregnant and I was starting the best job I had up to that time, another job I interviewed for prior, called me so I referred her and she got the job. While I planned our wedding she started sleeping with someone at the job I got her. One day signing on to the computer to email someone, she was still logged into her email. I noticed she had an email about a purchase of some male sneakers, knowing how she had never really purchased me any gifts and her habit of letting her lovers use her physically and financially. I checked and found out she was at it again, despite the fact she was pregnant with my child. I read her diary once again and told her parents, I started to call off the wedding but we were unable to get any of the money back, as well as I didn't want to share all of this with all the people we invited. So we got married and tried to work things out, we didn't make it one day. The night of the wedding she was still communicating with the guy, and we argued almost the whole first day of the marriage. We didn't end up legally getting married until maybe a month or two before my daughter was born. I only married her, so I could have rights to my daughter as I had to go through a lot of fighting to get my son legitimated and to get visitation rights.
Every girl I have talked to has been a insecure, clingy, jealous cheater. Who thought every guy was the problem until they met one who didn't act like the rest. What's worse than being cheated on; is not being able to be a family. As a single father of a 11 year old son and a 18 month old daughter. I hate that we can't be in a nuclear family.
My word of warning would be, don't stay in a relationship because of how long you have been in it, or how much you want it to work. Be honest with yourself as well as your mate, don't settle.
To the cheaters, you are only cheating yourself from being in a actual relationship. If you aren't happy don't settle out of connivence or comfortability.
If you have been cheated on; share, vent, and don't try to change. The easiest thing to do is blame yourself, and change in an attempt to keep this from happening again.
Why I am done with relationships is a little different, I dislike the fact my son grew so accustomed to my ex wife and her whole family, it played a large part in why our relationship lasted as long as it did. I have decided that I don't want to introduce another person and that persons family to my daughter, as I would not like to remove them from her life either.