Monday, December 19, 2016 6:11 AM by Michael
all started when i was 15 and i met her at my church she was nice and beautiful at that time she was 22 and she told me that she was still on school and i believed, we were friends, she was "single", she always took care of me at that time i saw her like a elder sister until "it" happened. when she went to church she always went alone because she was "single".
one time she came to the church where i do my service and she asked me to help her with some food that "was on her car" but when we went to the car there was nothing! i thought it was a game but she pulled me inside and well it was my first time.(that happened when i was 17 )
now some years later i realized that she is not a student, she is married and she have children, she lied to me, her elder son is 8 years old and the little have 7 years! and i didnt know it ¡she is a married woman!.
when i realized it i was on shock because i really felt in love with her but i dont want to destroy her family i saw her at a park with her kids and husband they looked like something that i never had,she saw me and her face changed to one of horror and i ran away, that happened last week and she is calling every day.
i told her that i dont want to be like my father when she cheated my mom and she knew that i trusted so much that it hurt a lot, i dont want this i dont want to be part of it. but now that i go to college she goes to my apartment, she said that she feel sorry that she love me and that the things with his husband are not ok ... shit! i loved her for 6 years, i feel like trash i think that she only used me just for fulfill some kind of weird stupid thing, she haven’t stop calling but now i don’t know what to do, last week i tried to suicide but my sister came at the moment now im taking therapy but i feel dirty, she know me from a long time, she had all my first times (kiss,date,sex,etc)i feel shame on me maybe she never loved me and i was losing my time because i was thinking on marry her at my 26's, and i don’t know what to do i can’t believe how naive i was i can’t tell this to anybody in person because i feel shame.
so what do you thing i should do, i still love her but i know that its forbidden, my mom died a month ago maybe that can be a reason why i feel like this, she know all my family, but they don’t know the relation that we had, my sister told me that she was on panic when she told her that i tried to suicide and she insisted to pay all the therapy, today when we were in the car of my sister she touch me and she gave me a letter with the same old shit that she still in love with me i feel so confused.