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Feeling lost

I cheated on my husband

Saturday, June 3, 2017 9:39 AM by N Rating: +7|-3

I've been married for six years and have two children. When I was pregnant with my second child I caught my husband on a dating website. I forgave him but never could forget. The next few years I kept catching him in lies and finding messages to other women. I even caught him sexting a 16 year old. He would swear up and down that he never did anything physical with anyone but I couldn't believe him. Things got pretty bad and I ended up filing a restrainting order on him. He had become very controlling and aggressive. My parents moving in with us had made things worse. During the time that we were separated I ended up drinking too much and having sex with a friend. I was in a very vulnerable state and I regretted letting it happen. My husband reached out to me wanting to fix things, willing to change. I felt horrible because I knew he would feel different if he found out. He eventually asked me and I told the truth. He can't forgive me for what I did even though we were separated in his eyes I still shouldn't have done anything because we were still married. I understand where he's coming from but I also feel that he's not being fair. He has cheated on me emotionally many times and maybe even physically. And I made one mistake. My friends keep telling me to let him go but I don't know if that's what I want. I don't know if I should fight for my marriage. We both have made mistakes. I just can't believe that it's so easy for him to just walk away after my one mistake even though I stayed with him after his many. 

Thank you for voting.


Monday, July 10, 2017 2:29 AM

Each spouse has her/his deal breaker(s) when it comes to ending her/his marriage. You have yours and your husband has his. Just because you chose to reconcile time and again after all his cheating on you, doesn't mean he is obligated to do the same. But let's say that he changes his mind about ending the marriage, is it going to be a happy and healthy marriage if there is no forgiveness towards one another? In the heat of the moment what looks like unfair or unjust may be a golden opportunity to start a better life.

Last but certainly not least, you have been subjected to domestic violence (hence the restraining order) and that is definitely more than enough grounds to divorce an abusive spouse. Your physical well being as well as that of your children is something that you should always strive to maintain.


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