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Fidelity in the Military?

My boyfriend cheated on me

Thursday, December 3, 2015 10:34 AM by Guest Rating: +3|-5

I was going to a University when I fell head over heels in love with a fellow student. I will just call him "Jo."  I don't go out; I don't drink socially and I am a bit of a nerd, as well as completely prudish and very anal with some of my views of life.  "Jo" had the type of appearance that I loved. He was attractive and funny; kind.  I chased people he spoke to, to find out his name, and then one day, I tried to join a group through the Univesity, and at the first meeting "Jo" was there.  "Jo" stared at me the whole time and left me feeling as if he had undressed me with his eyes. "Jo" had a piercing gaze and his brashness turned me on even more.  To make a long story short, I found him in the local phone book and called "Jo."  We talked; we went out, and the first night, we made love.  I asked him what he wanted from me because I've been burned my entire life by men who act like they're interested in a relationship and then after sex, dump me in the most painful, public, humiliating way possible.  "Jo" told me that he wanted to date; he was in the military and his life was "boring."  I believed "Jo" and the next day, he started ignoring me.  But, I took Summer term off, and returned in the Fall. "Jo" ignored me for 6 months. I returned to University and saw "Jo" again. Suddenly, "Jo" tells me that he was off in the Middle East and now he's home and wants to be with me. For 15 years I let this person use me sexually and lie to me and keep me tied emotionally. I finally grew a backbone; married someone else, but he was abusive and an alcoholic. I filed for divorce; re-connected with "Jo" and finally, in 2008 still staying under his spell, this blonde shows up at my house and says that she's been living with "Jo".  We would sit in his car after class and steam up the windows; we had sex almost every day of the week--in his car; at his house; in parking lots; at a motel, and this went on for 10 weeks.  This blonde tells me that my "boyfriend" NEVER left for the Middle East and that THEY are engaged to be married. Never saw that coming.  I always believed that men in the military were honest, and only dealt with relationships with honesty due to the fact that being in combat situations changes your perspective and you realize that life is short. Now, years later, people I know are telling me that "Jo" is telling anyone who will listen that he is "coming back" for me.  I love him, but there's no trust.  I also found out from this blonde that "Jo" often proposed marriage to 7 other women while taking me out and having sex with me like it was the end of the world.  I've never had a man treat me right, but I thought that there was supposed to be some kind of "moral code" that men in the military had.  I'm a total fool, I know, but, that's what I thought.  I still find people who tell me that "Jo" claims he "loves" me and he didn't marry this blonde because he "had unresolved feelings" for me.  I didn't know that.  Now, I feel like I am forever damaged by TWO relationships with men who were in the military: "Jo" who is Army and "Bob" who is an ex-Marine.  I have been alone for 11 years and I'm sick of it, but I see I don't have the intelligence to find anyone even remotely decent to connect with.  I'm a kind, funny, loyal woman who just wants a man to treat me right and be happy with me.  So I stay alone..  "Dee" in MI.

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