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Forgiveness?

My husband cheated on me

Wednesday, May 4, 2016 7:54 AM by Guest Rating: +10|-3

Close friend tried to hook up with husband, can the friendship be mended?

My husband recently confessed to me that he and a close friend of ours tried to hook up..He stated that she initiated it and asked him if he ever thought about hooking up.He said for a few weeks they would talk and text over the phone discussing what they wanted to do to each other and try to set up a time to do it.He said before long they both decided it wasn't a good idea due to my suspicion and thier guilt and they didn't go through with anything. I of course am upset, i literally hung out with her3 days a week.Our husbands have known each other all their life.Our children are close friends, hell she was in my wedding.I feel betrayed by both. I have cut off contact with her and I am trying to work through it with my husband., however I was told im overreacting to cut off all contact with her and I need to put our children first and try to mend the relationship. Any ideas?

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Comments

Wednesday, May 4, 2016 2:27 PM
Guest

i would beat her till she's black and blue. that's not a friend and yes fighting is not an adult thing to do but in this case she lost all respect for you and your family. id leave him as well and find you a better man or possibly a woman. you never know 

 
Wednesday, May 4, 2016 3:29 PM
Julius

  Bitch you are under-reacting<-----not a real word I know. Fuck those people. Your kids have nothing to do with this.your friend tried to hook up with your husband. Fuck him and fuck her. You don't  have to mend shit. He has to prove himself not you. If he wouldn't  have said nothing your friend  would have probably  done it again. When they come to you with that bull shit tell them fuck off and mind your business. Does the friends  husband know. He should. You need to tell him. Update.

 
Wednesday, May 4, 2016 10:30 PM
Guest

Wow. Not over reacting at all. How could you trust either one of then again?   Kids or not, you did the right thing

 
Thursday, May 5, 2016 3:55 AM
Guest

  Tell the person who told you that you were over reacting that you tried  to sleep with their significant  other. Be very serious  and see how they will react. You didn't  react enough. Your friends husband  would have known by now if it was me.

 
Thursday, May 5, 2016 2:37 PM
George

Easy does it...first and foremost, the our husband had begun an emotional affair and it COULD have become physical but it didn't and he confessed. His stock plummeted but he's still there for you. What made him confess?  From your post it seemed that they were afraid of getting caught more than full of guilt. Your friend is not a friend anymore. You need to be sure her husband knows what kind of woman he's married to. The kids don't need to know anything but I'd keep their contact to a minimum. You husband has some soul searching to do. If he was looking for sexual relations outside of the marriage he's in need of counsel.  Both should go. There has most likely been some indication of them being attracted to each other along the way.  But a friend like her is not a friend at all.  No contact can be had between them. If he's upset about that then he needs to make a choice. Actually you need to make the choice. Tell him if he wants to remain friends with a woman who came close to destroying your family then hes out the door. How does her husband feel about this? I'd love to hear more.  

 
Friday, May 6, 2016 11:40 PM
Guest

Hello Guest,

From all the comments above, posted... it looks like you've got some good, some crazy, and maybe, some bad (not really), bad advice, but I don't think your reaction was ,"un-normal"  I'm being serious, the way you reacted, is not in anyway, by all means, "overreacting".... and clearly wasn't un-normal, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!  Now I'm going to give you my opinion.  Ok....

Now if this was a close friend of yours, "you", must had talked about your husband to her (your friend), maybe sexually (your sex life), maybe about problems you guys are having in your marriage.  Why?  It's because, if she was a close friend (like you stated), you must have said something to her.  Something, to at least make her (your friend), make her strike some kind of interest towards your husband.  Why?  That's what close girlfriends, or friends do, at times when they're having or going through problems, they confined to one-another, to close friends, before family members.  Why this kind of opinion, because if they confined to family members first, people (we), tend to feel ,"ashamed" or ,"embarrassed".... plus they (we), don't want family members to be upset with our ,"spouses," am - I - right? So, that's why I said  you must have said something to her, because that's what close friends do, but that tends to backfire (whether it's a man or woman), at times, in the end.  Everyone's right (from above posts), a close friend wouldn't do this, otherwise.  The reason "I" have this kind of opinion, is because, you stated, that ,"she", initiated first contact with your husband...   correct?  I could be wrong?  

I don't think they felt guilty, i think it would of ended up happening as plan, but also.  I think something must of went ,"wrong," and it was smart that your husband came to you first.  Why? I think, because if your close friend came and told you first, the outcome would have been ,"different," in my opinion.  

I'm going to give you some ,"good - advice," and you better listen! Why? It's because, it's happened to me!  Whenever your getting suspicious of something (that - gut - feeling), whether it's your husband, your kids, anything in life, "period!"  By all means.....  don't ignore it....  go - with - it!  That's some kind of alarm (a gift), that's been given to us, by ,"God", and never ignore it! Even if you don't have actual proof!  Never ignore that feeling, but there are ways of dealing with that feeling. This - in - time, you will learn how to deal with that feeling, when it does happen again, but you need to learn how to deal with it the right way, where it ,"benefits", you.... ok?  In my situation (in the past), I handle that feeling the wrong way (horrible way), and it ended up costing my ,"marriage", to end.  I'm still broken hearted from it.  Now...I know how to deal with that feeling, if it ever occurs to me again.  I'm so grateful for that lesson that was given to me, but in the end....  I - was - right!  She was cheating on me after all, but like I said, I still handled it, the wrong way, the - wrong - way - big time!

You have, "every..... every", right to be upset with both of them, but I think you hang out with her to much, in my opinion.  That doesn't mean you have to always confined to her, and share information, especially ,"private", information.  I'm giving you my opinion, if.... if, that really did happened, but I could be wrong.

I think, you should talk to her, and tell her to confess to her husband. That you're giving her this ,"opportunity", to - come - clean, to her husband, about this whole ordeal, that would have took place, or else.  Let her know, that if she doesn't, that you're going to let your ,"husband", tell him (his close  friend, her man), tell him otherwise.  Now.... sit back, with some popcorn, a good ass mixed drink.... and then.....  watch -  a -  good - show - begin.... a good - movie....  reaction from her begin to take place, haha....  but going back to this subject, for real, let's see what her reaction is or looks like.  lol

Agan, i'm sorry this happened, but take this as a ,"good lesson", for you to learn from, and remember to not....  to - not - ever - ever...  ignore that gut feeling we all tend to get.  You ,"will", always have that little betrayed feeling, and that's normal to have.   It's going to take a lot of trust between both of them.  Believe it or not, they have to, or must earn that ,"trust", back from you.  That's not going to be an easy thing to do, and make sure, you let them, "both", know that!  Now for those advising, on both of you on seeing a marriage counselor, that's ,"irrelevant", right now, because we (all of us), don't know anything about your marriage, or what problems you may have.... only both of you do, am I right?

I wish you ,"good luck", and for the sake of your family, as well.

☺☺

 

 
Saturday, May 7, 2016 5:55 AM
Guest

Fellow bloggers, you may want to read the blog from Friday.  I seems that the 2 couples in this story were drunk and she came on to the woman and the womans husband stuck his 'junk' in her while her husband watched.  This problem may be all her doing and now she wants to blame her husband for her actions.  Looks like she opened Pandoras Box and now regrets her curiousity.  It seems there is always something else in these stories that turn the tale around on itself.  Get counselling fast, this could end up in divorce.

 
Monday, July 4, 2016 6:31 AM
Guest

Letting the other spouses knows be prepare, how they might take it. My married neighbor took advantage of me. i told his wife.  she call me a liar.  7weeks later, i recieved a call from the police wanting to (talk) to me. 2 question later i was arrested for aggravant hasasment which later was dismissed. U c 2 months early i sent him a letter, he was hopeing he will use the letter to press charges on me, but it back fire. It force him to tell his wife and the police he's been cheating throughout the marriage...do i regret telling his wife...NO....NOt for me. I wanting to hurt him as much as he hurt me... Beside i wanted to put him and everyman like him in his place...second he didnt think i would tell his wife, me being from a different culture....but i show him....his wife is still with him, knowing his cheating ways...she doesnt know about a woman name Cecilia which the husband been support for the past 9 years.....The wife know everything but it difference between knowing and acceptin... SSpoken to other neighbors, which i realize it a common knowlegde he cheats for years...the wife is denied...until one day it will hit her...but then again she been with him for 23 years but married for 17 years..Love is blind....

 

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