We have been married for almost 4 years. We have a 2.5 year old daughter. And I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant with our second. He has been lying to me more and more over the past year or so. About little things here and there. And he was talking more about this female coworker than he ever talked about anyone.

He works odd hours and usually gets off work between 2-3a.m., and earlier on Fridays. Last Friday he told me it was going to be a late night. I waited up until almost 2 in the morning for him to get home. I finally went to bed, and woke up just after 5 to let my dog out and to pee. I found his lunhbox on our table, but not his work boots. I looked all over the house for him. Didn't find him anywhere. I was also having a hard time getting my dog to come back in. It was while I was waiting for her to come in that I saw something in the grass on the other side of our camper across the yard. It wasn't moving like an animal so I decided to go see what it was. It was there that I found him lying in the grass with this female coworker. They were making out, she had her leg on him and his hand was on her leg. 

I am absolutely devastated. When she left and he came inside, I could tell right away that he'd been drinking. Then he told me he went to the bar with her and then for a drive with her that night, before bringing her to our home. And then he began blaming me for it. Because I spent money trying a new company. Because I was too hormonal and yelled a lot more lately. Because I wasn't giving him regular sex like I used to (it had been less than 2 weeks). Because he needed affection and release, and I wasn't giving it to him, apparently. Because he was lonely and she was there. 

I was lonely. I need affection. I needed him, wanted him like he wanted her. I just am so lost right now. We have agreed to counseling and to see what happens. He is looking for a new job, but still has to work with her in the meantime. Doesn't talk to her or text her anymore, that I know of. I thought I could stay living here (we live with his parents), but I just can't. It is a constant reminder that he brought her here and cheated on me. And I saw it happen. He always told me that he could never cheat on me because he knew how bad it hurt. I just don't know what to believe anymore. I'm not sure what I'm seeking here, maybe just need to get it out. Thank you for listening.