I am 38,my husband is 44,we have been married for 6 years, it hasn't been easy, to start off I found out he had a kid with a former relationship and also my husband owed over $10k in child support debt all during our first year of marriage yet I decided to stick to him and make our marriage work, it's been hard specially for him to keep a job, he's far from being the perfect man buthe is not a bad person at all which makes this even more difficult. I been wanting to start a family for a while, being 38 I feel as if I'll be lucky to have one child, I have a pretty good job, so ig I have to quit working to raise our childour finances will suffer deeply. About 3 weeks ago around the en of April my husband and I had an argument about some savings he had spent without telling me, again, I am trying to save so we can have a child,this argument led to me leaving our home and staying over my friend Karla's house, her husband had gone backto his home country Ecuador due to some Earthquake they had, being angry and upset I let her talk me into going out for a "girls" night over at a bar that is well known to have a good happy hour.

I am somewhat overweight, but in the right places as some co-workers always tell me, my hair is long and healthy,my skin keeps young,overall I say I am a 6-7 so went shopping for some clothes (avoiding going home to see husband) we were both looking pretty nice I'd say,we had drinks  and for a whileI forgot about all my problems, what felt asa couple of hours turned to 4am and getting last called, 2 nice guys who had been sharing stories with us invited us to go to their apt to have some more drinks, now I totally didnt want to to go but my friend asked me to go with her that she needed to have some fun too and we should take advantage of our current situation, I will blame the alcohol for finding myself in their living room, this was all pretty new to me since I have always been in a relationship so I never got to do much of the "meeting people" thing, my friend was very drunk and she was dancing with the guy who out of the 2 was the best looking, I got a little intimidated as they both went to a roomand it was just the other guy and me in the couch, shortly after the handsome guy came back out and said that Karla had passed out.

I wont get into details but I cheated on my husband that night in a bad way, I did things that I never thought I would do even single. Went backhome next morning and avoided husband out of shame, I was still angry at him but the guilt now stops me from even speaking to him in a bad way,I feelguilty specially since he is trying much harder to contribute more.he doesntknow what I did that night,should I be honest?