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Help Please!!!!!!!!

I cheated on my boyfriend

Thursday, December 31, 2015 11:45 AM by leah Rating: +5|-12

The other day which was my birthday, I was at my boyfriends house after a night of drinking. He woke me up @ 3 am and asked me whos phone number started with a 583. I told him I didnt know and then he told me to grab my phone. I did and he went to my text messages and went straight to the number. It was a guy I had met a couple months back. The text werent too bad but the guy had asked me what my favorite liquor was and was telling me how beautiful I was and how he wanted to see me. I didnt respond but some of the times when he texted me I would respond but just simple responses like ohh okay but nothing to the extent that I thought was bad. My now ex is very stern about not talking to other people when involved with someone else. To him thats giving guys life and making them feel like theres hope. This isn't the first time he caught me texting another guy. Back in Febuary, he caught me too and he broke it off then. I just feel like this time I messed up big time and I feel he will never take me back or even talk to me again. I went through a lot with him just within the year we were messing around. I had to deal with his rude babys mother who would harass me through emails. I felt like I kept the relationship together. I was giving him 100% and i was only getting 40% from him. He lost his job in July and I stood by him the whole time. I never clowned him or made him feel bad or anything I tried to uplift him and make him feel better but I felt he was shutting me out a lot of the time. He would go all day and not send me a simple text to say hey how is your day going. He never brought me anything and we never did anything besides go to the movies and go to the bar. That gets old after a while. I know he was going through a lot with losing his job and the stress his child's mother causes him. Mind you this guy is a lot older than me im 25 and hes 38. I have grown to love this man so much and no matter the age difference, I felt we could always work out. I dont get to see him a lot like i used to sometimes it will be two weeks before we even see each other. our sex is freaking amazing but there is something missing. I don't feel he loves me the way i love him. He sometimes makes me feel unwanted and I at times feel like im a nuisance. One day after his birthday, he sent me a text about how he couldn't b the man I needed him to be and how it was rude for him to mess with me for a year if he wasnt really trying to take it to the next level with me. He finally started to change and I finally met his son but something was still missing. I dont ask for much at all, its the little things that get me excited and he does not satisfy me emotionally. I think the whole time I was in love with what we could be instead of what it really was. We went back and fourth for a year for what..nothing! I feel so bad because I know i hurt him badly. I feel like we can get past this, I didnt physically cheat on him. I've been going back and fourth if I should try to convince him to change his mind or if I should reach out to him. I feel it will just be the same thing all over again I'll have to win back his trust which is going to be extremly difficult, but still I dont think he will ever satisfy me emotionally like I want but I really am in love with this man. He does make me feel beautiful. its always a good time when we link up and for the most part he is a very honest guy. I feel like he is a rare breed and you dont find too many men out here like him. I am soo sad and confused. Should I leave him alone or should I try to go fight for my man? HELP PLEASE

Tags: Age Gap;

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Comments

Friday, January 1, 2016 1:19 AM
ANGEL

   Sweety you got it all wrong he should be chasing you. Admit to your mistake and be honest. If there is no trust there is no relationship. Sit down and tell him what you want and what you need. He should be telling you what he want and what he need. If he loves you the way you love him he will take you back. If he doesn't then move on. Will it be hard? Yes but you deserve a man that loves you as you love him. 

 
Monday, January 4, 2016 5:33 AM
Guest

Did you like it? You might as well fuck him since you guys already kissed and your not telling your boyfriend about it. 

 

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