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He's been cheating

My husband cheated on me

Monday, July 25, 2016 6:07 AM by Guest Rating: +28|-18

I am a 29 year old woman and I have been married to my husband for a year and a half. Before that, we had been on and off dating for more than 6 years. During the first year of our relationship I had caught him cheating on me with his coworker twice. I forgave him the first time and I broke up with him the second time. It wasnt more than 2 months after our break up until he made me fall for him again and I tried to fix our relationship. It seemed all happy for the first 6 months, I did get worried but he never showed any signs of cheating. Once we where at a dinner in this fancy restaurant and I excused myself to the bathroom. Only to return t see his hand on the waitress' ass while he was groping her. At that time I brushed it off and believed him when he told me that I saw wrong and I was being to harsh on him for it. But I guess I was not. We kept going to the same restaurant every other week. He used to state that he knew the owner of the restaurant and half way through our dinner he would excuse himself and leave in some room upstairs saying that he just wanted to talk to the manager since they where friends. One time I decided to follow him. It was true that he was going to the manager, but what I had no idea was that the manager was a woman and he was fucking both her and the waitress on her desk while I was waiting like an idiot downstairs. I was so heart broken that I could not even say anything. 

He admitted on having sex with both of them every time we went to that restaurant only when it came to me that the waitress had gotten pregnant from him! I broke up with him as soon as I found out about the pregnancy. However, my husband has a way of convincing me of having changed and not more than one month later we where back together. I became the babysitter of his son as soon as he was born and I ended up raising him as if he where my own son. 

I knew my that during the other four years of our relationship he was cheating on me with so many other women, however I had never caught him in act and neither did he ever do a false move so I could not really put it on him. Everyone began telling me that I was just imagining things when I told them he was cheating and all our friends had told me that he had truly changed this time. He never once pretended to stay over time at work, he did not leave the house at bizzare hours, he never left my side if we where out, so I guessed that he had truly changed himself. So when he asked me to marry him I accepted right away. One year into our marriage and we seemed to be living a happy life the two of us and his son whom I had legally adopted. 

Six months ago however, a woman came knocking on my door while my husband was out. She was holding a girl in her arms who was about 3 months old. The woman told me that she needed to speak to me about my husband and I let her in. Once inside she told me that she was a helper at our wedding, 22 years old and our wedding was her first job after she finished her school. She told me that during the wedding, my husband kept grabbing her and groping her everywhere, while she was walking with trays he would purpously push her against a wall just to coop a feel and at one point he even put his hands up her skirt and touched her pussy. She then continued to say that at one moment my husband had excused himself because there seemed to be a problem with lack of drinks - a situation which I remembered - however, he did not go to check inside like he said. Instead he had entered the kitchen and asked her assistance, he took her upstairs (our hall had bedrooms upstairs) and he had fucked her in one of the beds. She kept apologizing to me repeteadly saying that she should not have let my husband do that to her, however he was telling her that if she doesn't have sex with him he would report her to her seniors and she would loose her job. I was devastated. To make things worse, she informed me that the girl in her hand was my husbands daughter which she concieved on my wedding day! 

She continued to talk. She told me that the reason she came to tell me was because she felt increadibly guilty. My husband knew about her pregnancy and she said that after her daughter was born, my husband when to look for her and once again began a sexual relationship with her. I had no idea what to do. I knew that if I talked to him he would deny everything so instead I decided to just follow him around in hope to actually catch him in act. It took me a while since my husband had ways to hide himself but a month ago, he said he was going to a doctor's appointment. I followed him and I saw him enter the same restaurant from before. I knew something was up. He walked straight upstairs and I followed him. There was the said waistress, the mother of his son, waiting for him and he fucked her. I did not stay for long but I knew that there was another woman inside, probably the manager from before as well. 

I met my friend that night and I spilled everything to her. She suggested that I give him some of his own medicine. She said that I should keep pretending to be happy and idiotic while I go out and grab some men for myself, however I am not sure whether I should do that or just divorce him straight away. 

Tags: Dating; Daughter; Divorce; Friend; Pregnancy;

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Comments

Monday, July 25, 2016 1:24 PM
Guest

Sounds like you enjoy being abused.

 
Monday, July 25, 2016 6:04 PM
BG

You shouldve just joined the party and have some serious orgies. Looks like he knew how to handle them since he had quite a few and you kept coming for more. You should've just had some adventours of your own, that way everyone has fun.

 
Monday, July 25, 2016 6:07 PM
ALF

Your friend is a total moron for suggesting you sleep around.  You have no children with your husband.  He's lied to you, cheated on you, and kept secrets from you.  There's really no point is trying to fix him or your relationship.  Get your divorce, then go be happy for the rest of your life.

 
Monday, July 25, 2016 10:48 PM
Guest

Please leave him right away. He doesn't love you and he will never be a man in your life how he should be. I'm sorry that this happened. I'm currently going through a separation myself but I have a 3 year old son (who makes my days). I was with my husband for 8years and married for 4 years. He told me he needed to visit his ill mother in another country. I gather all our saves for him to go. He was suppose to go for 2 weeks but before the 2 weeks he call and said he needed to extend his stay for another 2 weeks and needed money to treat his mom's illness. I believe hin and sent money to him. The day he came back I pick him up at the airport. He started yelling and being mad for no reason. I thought it was just jet lag and he needs rest. The whole first month back he gave me the worst time. Always yelling and being mad. Leaving all the time. Sitting in his car on the phone for 2 hours while I sat with our son who had a fever on the couch. Finally I had a gut feeling I can't trust him anymore. One night I put some sleeping pills in his coffee and took his phone. The nightmare started. He had been seeig this 22 year old girl and promise to married her and bring here over. I confronted him and instead of being sorry he slap me so hard I cry without even knowing I was crying. I told him to leave. He came back beg and beg for forgiveness. Saying he will not do it again. I said he had to earn back my trust and love. He agreed. Two days later caught him in this car at our local market's parking lot on the phone face timing...he told me he was at work late. I had enough and pick up my son and left. 

 

You have no children so get out of this relationship fast and move on. You deserve so much better. He is throwing away a diamond and chasing rocks.

 
Tuesday, July 26, 2016 3:10 AM
John

Say goodbye to him and look for someone whom you deserve. Sound like your husband is FUBR. You are still young and a lot of thing ahead of you. Don't waste your time hanging around cheater as well as don't listen your friend who is no brainier. 

 
Wednesday, July 27, 2016 12:01 PM
Samantha

You are so good hearted and forgiving, never let someone make your soft heart hardened. I just wanna hug you because you are such a good person for being so clean and forgiving... But you are also really stupid, clearily he had some sexual issues and needs help. He must be so good looking because nobody gets away with acting like that. leave him and find yourself a good hearted man, someone like you.

 
Friday, July 29, 2016 1:21 AM
Guest3

Ask for & divorce 

do not revenge by doing the bad & wrong actions

 
Sunday, July 31, 2016 11:10 PM
KLady

This sounds more like a "kink" story rather than a "real" story. 

PS:Do you think your man would really give a flying fuck if you revenge fucked another man? No.. He would whip his filthy dick out and join you.

 
Sunday, August 7, 2016 11:16 AM
Lost

you deserve better then this "man"/husband is giving you...WHY are u putting up with this??? i dont know whether anyone have told u this, but YOU are better then this!!!!PLease wake up and smell the coffee, he is telling you something..."i could do as i please and my stupid wife will take me back,,,she always will" Do you have family or close friends,,,or maybe you need to see a therapy. Please stop being abused by this "man" or anyone like him...YOu are better....thinking of you....i looking for future posts from u to c where u r.....xoxoxo

 
Tuesday, August 16, 2016 8:13 AM
MrAnonymus

Divorce 

 
Tuesday, August 16, 2016 8:18 AM
MrAnonymus

You sound like an incredibly loving woman you deserve a man that can not only appreciate that but reciprocate it too

 
Wednesday, August 24, 2016 8:43 AM
Guest

Your friend is a complete moron for suggesting you should start sleeping around. If you haven't done it yet, get a divorce and move on with your life. 

 
Wednesday, September 7, 2016 7:12 PM
TheBestAdvice

The fact that you asked this question shows that you need counseling NOW!  

 
Sunday, January 8, 2017 9:34 AM
Guest

When it comes to people, 99% of the time YOU CAN NOT CHANGE SOMEONE.

I want to say that your first mistake was to take him back in the beginning, but I give some slack for people thinking that they need to give people a second chance, even though studies show that most people who cheat will do it again.  You, my dear, are an "enabler," you enabled your husband to do the things he did by being 1) too forgiving, 2) too trusting, 3) too blind.  The cheating he did in the beginning, and all that groping.  RED FLAGS. BIG RED FLAGS.  The solution is not to cheat on him, as your friend suggested, because this isn't going to solve things.  You need to leave the relationship RIGHT NOW, and you need to STAY AWAY from him afterwards, since he "has a way of making you fall for him again."  Leave him, and don't ever look back. You will regret it if you do, because everything will just repeat itself.

 

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