Friday, June 10, 2016 9:59 AM by Guest
We met when I was fifteen, he was 19. I remember him walking into my house thinking what an attractive man. He was best friends with my brother so I had heard of him before but this was the first time meeting. The next day I had a random text message from him saying he thought I was beautiful and got my number from a mutual friend. We gradually spent sometime together but never exclusive as he thought I was too young and my brother wouldnt approve. Three years went by of our off and on again fling, while we had other relationships in between. Once he cheated on his girlfriend with me, they shortly after broke up. It wasn't until I was 19 that my on and off again three year relationship came to an end from him cheating on me. We lived together for a month until he actually moved out. Around this time my husband started coming into my work almost every day to get dinner. We would talk and flirt and I would share with him what was happening in my disaster of a life. He became more persistent with messaging me and wanting to help me feel better. We eventually started spending time together while my current boyfriend was in the process of moving out. He made me feel special and had a way of temporarily helping me get over my depression I was deeply in. We tried to have sex but I was no where near ready. Finally my x moved out and we started to spend more time together. About three months went by and he asked me to move in to his parents house with him. He knew I was struggling financially after the sudden split and I spent most of my time there anyways. So I did. The first three months were perfect. I would coke home to letters and poems and small meaningful gifts set up on the bed. He was affectionate and generous with his time and love. One day we had to go to the city as he needed to write an exam. I was going to visit my brother who lived there so I told him I would wait in the car until he picked me up. My phone died as we were pulling in so I asked if he would leave his so I could message him. He did and went in to write his exam. I had never gone through his phone before and truly had no desire to as I felt very confident in what we had. I went to his messages to find my brothers and I noticed my best friends name. I was confused but my curiosity clicked on the message. It went on about how he enjoyed their kiss and how he wanted to sleep with her. I was so shocked and disgusted. I never thought he would be the person to do that. Once I read this I began to wonder what else he was hiding. I scrolled through and found a message from his x girlfriend. My birthday was a few weeks prior to this and we originally had plans to go to the city for a night out with some of my friends. He was unable to go as he hurt his leg in a Sporting accident. The messages of him telling her he missed her and if he could come over were dated for that day. My brother never responded, I waited in that car for 2 hours for him to come out, building up my anger and betrayal. As soon as I seen him I smacked him right across the face and told him to get in the vehicle. After spilling everything I had planned to say his first response was "you went through my phone"? I was finished, I told him I was leaving him and I went home and started packing my things. He was crying and begged for another chance to make it better. After a few hours of fighting I agreed I would give him another chance if he proved it wouldn't happen again. And for a while he did. It wasn't until a few months later that he left me for being insecure. Like I didn't have reasons to be. I ended up seeing someone else, sex was not involved. More of a distraction to what was going on. We got back together a month or so after and I moved back home. About five months later he left me again. We fought all the time and I was insecure and worried on top of having anxiety and depression. This pushed him away, and he didn't understand he was the cause of it. This break up only lasted a few weeks. He shortly after went on a vacation and I seen photos of him a little too close to a girl and resting his hand on her le once he got home. I confronted him and he assured me it was nothing to worry about. I became worried and fed up with this constant turn of events and my behaviors caused him to leave me, yet again. It was right before a mutual friend of ours wedding and I was sad I wasn't able to attend as I met them through him and it was addressed to him. About three days before the wedding he tried to get me to come back. I asked him who he was taking to the wedding and sure enough it was that girl from the vacation. A mutual friend of ours friend. I stopped all contact with him knowing he was taking her. A few weeks past and he still tried to get me to come home. I caved, shortly after he admitted to kissing this girl and that she wanted more with him but he wasn't able to as he still loved me. I confronted her and she confirmed his story. I tried my best to let it go but by now my confidence was gone. A few more messages appeared that year of him telling an x he wanted to kiss her and other inappropriate comments. I felt myself getting used to this behaviour yet it turned me into a controlling, angry, uneasy, depressed person who I never was. We fought all the time over the most silly things, because I was so insecure. I began to feel the need for commitment and constantly brought up marriage. He had always been against it since day one. As his parents went through a terrible split. We made plans to go the falls that year as I thought a weekend away would do us good. The second night there, while watching the lights at night he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I could tell it was hard for him to do. He has never been one with his feelings after the first few months of us dating. Regardless I was happy. I felt secure and loved and important. Things were good for a while we ended up finding our first rental home and enjoyed living alone for a few months of happiness. After that passed he became distant and cold yet again. One night laying in bed we got into a heated arguement and he left for a week. He returned and we both really thought what he needed to do to make this work. We started communicating better and showing our feelings and honestly things were amazing for over a year. I was planning a wedding and we moved to a larger house, got another dog, new vehicles, I finished school and started my career. Life was good, and everyone around us could see the improvement we had made. Until about 3 months ago. I always knew the wedding details annoyed him so I did my best to keep it to myself but I was so excited to marry him I loved bringing it up and yes all I basically talked about was wedding. I had found my dress and our venue was paid for. Dj. Hair. The whole nine yards. Our stag n doe was in a week and he began to question to me if we were right for each other. I assured him it was cold feet. And for the next two days we went back in fourth with doubts, but constructively. Five days before our stag n doe I knew something was up. He hadn't been returning my phone calls and wasn't texting me back. He ended up calling me that evening from work and told me he was leaving. That he didn't want to marry me and wasn't in love with me anymore. My world shattered. I remember falling to the floor and thinking I was so close to this finally working. I broke everything in site. He had already taken most of his things without me even knowing. For about a week we didn't talk I fell into the worst depression on my life, missed work and stayed in bed for day's. Lost almost ten lbs and did not eat. He then began to message me and regret his decision but that he didn't want a big fancy wedding. I was happy he realism this and thought it was just cold feet. For about a month and a half he went back and forth between not knowing if he wanted me or not and if he could make me happy. The longest months of my life. Yet I still allowed him to put me through this. I began seeing someone an hour away and it was nice to be cared for and desired. My husband and I have never had a lot of sex. He never seemed to be in the mood and we fought about it constantly. He shortly after said he was coming home for good. I ended what was going on and told him about it. He didn't seem to mind. Things were good for a week. We had Jays tickets for our stag n doe that never got used so he was going to the event that coming weekend. He kissed me goodbye and said he call me that night after the game and things seemed normal. He didnt end up calling me till later. But still, said goodnight and he couldn't wait to come home. The next morning he messages me and tells me he is at his mom's getting some more clothes, as that's where he had been living. Ten minutes later I receive a message from a girl asking if we could talk. She tells me she has been seeing him for two months and thinks he is playing both of us. My heart sank. I drove over there and put my phone up to him with the message present. He was shocked I found out. He explained that he began seeing her two weeks after we broke up and had been going back and fourth between the two of us. He said he tried to sleep with her but it was the most awkward sex and he went limp. He said they fought all the time because she didn't trust him. And said she looked a lot prettier and thinner in photos than when he went to meet her, but it kept his mind of of me sometimes. I asked when the last time he seen her was and he said yesterday. He took her to the game.. with our stag n doe prize tickets. He said he left her there and went back to the hotel to call me. I then found out a few weekends before he was suppose to be at a game as well. His phone was off all weekend and when he finally got ahold of me he said it was dying so he turned it off so he could call me on his way home. That was a lie. This was two weeks ago since I've found out. Since then he has gone back and fourth with the idea of wanting me or not. He says he does not speak to her and that she hates him for what he did and that he doesn't care about her. Two days ago he moved back home. He was suppose to bring his things and never has. He is distant and always on his phone and today I noticed some of his clothes I washed are not in his dresser. I don't know if he is avoiding bringing his things home cause he knows he is going to leave again. All I know is I am sitting on the floor in a room filled with wedding decor, looking at my engagement ring wondering how on earth I allowed this to go on for four and a half years.