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How do you get past it

My girlfriend cheated on me

Sunday, July 31, 2016 6:52 AM by Guest Rating: +20|-4

I've been dating my girlfriend for coming up 4 years now. 2 weeks ago she voluntairly confessed that for the past 4 months she has been thinking about this other guy and she actually kissed/went down on him at a party recently. She says she truly regrets it and she cut off all communication with this guy (blocked on social media and texts/phone, even offers her phone for anytime I want it). She has answered every question I had truthfully too (at least I believe). In her relationships before and the 4 years prior, she has never had a history of this before.

Maybe I just am blinded by the love I have for her but it really seems like a one-off thing. Is forgiving her the right thing to do? And how the hell do you get past the emotional cheating? That bothers me worse than the physical ever could

Tags: Dating;

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Monday, August 1, 2016 3:39 PM
Stella

You never get over someone you love or care about cheating on you. What you need to ask yourself is "Do I still want to be with her?" "Is this relationship worth working on?" Only you know the answers to those questions.....

 
Monday, August 1, 2016 6:01 PM
Guest

You are not married yet. You have not tied your financial life, social life and emotional life to her in the same way that comes with marriage. You can't trust her now when she should be on her best behavior. How can you trust her with your life? Can you imagine trusting her with childrens lives - your children? Believe me, this will end badly. Do not let a 4-1/2 year investment of your time keep you in a shitty place. You did not waste your time! You learned a lot about relationships. You just learned an important lesson - you can't trust a cheater. Don't take the next course: "Once a cheater, always a cheater!" I will give you the quick lesson, she cheated on you because it is within her personality make up to lie, cheat and betray you. It is WHO she IS! It will not change. I have known a lot of cheaters in my life, that is who and what they are. Don't do this to yourself and more importantly, don't do this to your future kids. They don't want a mommy who is a whore and winds up divorced!

 
Monday, August 1, 2016 10:55 PM
ALF

You're still in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, so you can come out of this realatively unscathed.  Wheather you stay or go is up to you.  But if you stay, tread lightly.  If it happened once, it can surely happen again.  Sorry to say the odds are against you on this one.

 
Wednesday, August 3, 2016 11:40 AM
Guest

Ok, so you said she kissed him and "went down on him". Does that mean she gave him a bj?  Makes a big diff in my mind. Did she suck him to completion? Swallow his cum?  A kiss is kiss. Sucking him off is unacceptable. Especially if she took his load. So what will you be thinking about every time you kiss her from here on out? Did you ask her why she did it?  What makes you think she will not do it again sometime down the line and really screw you up?  Not worth the risk.  At least tell her you need a break.  If she loves you as much as you think she'll be around after a month or so.

 
Wednesday, August 3, 2016 12:23 PM
Guest

Did she end it with the guy? OR.....Did the guy end it with her and now she sees herself being alone so let me tell my bf before he finds out in another way. Or did she end it with dude and due threatend to tell you. So much here. Good luck. Figuring out the motive is always hard

 
Thursday, August 4, 2016 8:58 AM
Bravo

You need to determine a couple of things:

1) she needs to answer 'why' she did it. Like, why did she give herself permission? Why did she do it, aside from how she felt? Get an honest answer and not something generic and dramatic. See if you believe her.

2) understand that if you stay with her, you have to accept that this comes with it. This incident will be in your memory forever, and it will impact your level of trust. She will have to work long and hard to repair your trust, and it is possible, but your trust will be more fragile thereafter.

3) she obsessed over another guy. Either she listed after him more than you because he was that more appealing than you, or because she gets this way with guys every so often. Either way, your position as 'one and only' in her mind was compromised. Now, there is one guy, or perhaps some future guys, who have and may again take up that spot in her head. It happened, so.. can you live with that? 

 
Friday, August 5, 2016 2:43 PM
Dude Bro

Dude just dump her or get used to this happening. Bitches who cheat once, cheat twice. Don't waste your time. Get anal and get away from her.

 
Saturday, August 6, 2016 1:28 AM
Guest

Going on 4 years... google sunk cost fallacy. 

As people before said, why did she kiss and suck another guy off? The quick answer is that he provides something you do not. That is always going to be a problem, so yes, she will do this again.  (Plus, maybe it was more than 1 in the past.) Though, I am biased by the American Pie theory, rule of 3. Divide a guy's number by 3 and multiply a girl's number by 3.

Just move on. Plenty of nice women out there and girls like her for the interim time until you meet that nice woman.

 
Sunday, August 7, 2016 3:16 AM
Guest

Bro there is over 8 billion people on earth with multi billio  ladies available stop wasting your time over a whore already. Just move the fuck on, the world is no place for weaklings . 

 
Sunday, August 7, 2016 4:38 PM
Guest

did she swallow his cum ?

 

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