Hurt

My boyfriend cheated on me

Wednesday, December 28, 2016 11:22 PM by Guest Rating: +45|-29

I dated this guy throughout college and things were great so I thought. He cheated on me many times.... without my knowlage for the most part. I had an bad feeling about things. When he told me the summer of 2014 that he needed to "think" and that right now we couldnt be together because he was very stressed at this time of his life. In which he was: He was going through money problems, job problems, family problems. Little did I know he was two timing me with this girl that went to our college. He would hang out with her during invite her to his house parties etc.. I was home at my parents house not far from college so he could easily get away with it. One day he came to my house and cried to me that he kissed a girl, it was our 7 month anneversary. I stupidly cried a little and asked if he had feelings for her and he said no, we made up and then the next day he was facebook friends with her. I for some reason stuck around and he ended it with this girl in September. The day of my birthday he got me a gift and I posted it to social media. She saw it and messaged me on facebook calling him out saying that the whole summer they were considered a couple because they hung out quite a bit. And that she wanted to me know that he was feeding her bull crap the whole relationship. In my twisted mind I messaged her back and told her that we were broken up (which he basically programed me to think because he was so manipulative). After that ordeal I took him back. The next time he cheated on me was with a girl he met at a concert. They ended up hanging out he even went to vist her on some nights in which he drove almost two hours. I even saw them hanging out and I wanted to throw up. This is when he wanted a "break". After he found out that the girl was moving away he ended things with her and focused on me. The third and final straw was when we were supposedly doing good in our relationship we were not on a break he cheated on me with a random girl twice. As a one night stand. Long story short I caught him in all his lies and he cried and cried to me to take him back and he can change. I knew that I was in a manipultive toxic relationship and I needed to get out he had been tourchiring me for the past 2 in a half years. I just couldn't believe that I put up with so much crap, he tried to get me back for months and sometimes I caved in and saw him which only fuled the fire becuase I knew we shouldn't and wouldn't be getting back together. The last time I saw him I gave something of his back and we talked and he acted like nothing was wrong and we should get lunch. I left his house and then didn't make plans with him again after that he didnt text me and about 3 weeks later he is in a relationship with one of the girls he cheated on me with, she has no idea about me and I doubt she knew that he was two timing the both of us. I am having a hard time with this even though I know its the right thing to do, I know I will be happier later it's just hard to move on from such a toxic relationship I feel thats all I think about sometimes.

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Sunday, January 8, 2017 1:18 PM

Jen

How many times does a man need to cheat on a woman for her to understand that he will never change? The answer should be, "one time."

I know it's hard and painful, but you can and will move on, and hopefully you will learn from this. Lucky for you, you weren't married and you didn't have his children.

I don't know how many times I've had to tell young women who have been cheated on - this man is not worth your emotional well being, he is not worth your time or your effort, he is not worthy of you, you DO NOT need a man like this in your life. Every time you took him back, you were silently telling him that it was okay to cheat on you, that you would forgive him. Every time you took him back, you were subconciously telling yourself that this was all you were worthy of. Why, why, do women not value themselves more? And it goes for men who have been cheated on as well!

Well it's obvious you knew all this because you already said that you were in a manipulative toxic relationship and that you need to get out. It's only hard to move on if you let it be that way. You are the only one who can make you happy. So what now?

First make sure that you do not associate with him, at all, for any reason. Remove him and thoughts of him from your life. Anything having to do with him is wasted emotional and mental energy on your part. Move on, look forward, don't let this hold you back. Don't allow yourself to be held back. Use your anger, your frustration, and your pain to make you stronger. Take this opportunity of freedom to make yourself a better, stronger person. Start a new work out, take lessons in something that's fun to you (music, dance, whatever), volunteer for the needy, stay busy, LOVE YOURSELF, do things that make you laugh, live your life knowing that you don't need anyone else to make you feel good about yourself. These are the things that will help you heal. And whatever you do, don't take him back.

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