Wednesday, November 23, 2016 4:56 AM by Guest
The other night I found myself getting drunk with my friends once again. My boyfriend, who I don't live with, had to be up at 5 am, so it was supposed to be a girls' night kind of thing (it was a Monday which is weird but you know). My friends with benefits from before my relationship, who I had remained friends with, started trying to hook up with me over text message. He appealed to old friendship promises and memories and I found myself somehow sitting on the floor of his room drunk. I felt disgusted with myself even when I was drunk, and made an effort to stay on the floor. He actually lay down on the floor next to me and pulled me closer to him. I didn't kiss him, have sex with him, or grind on him in anyway, but I know he touched me in inappropriate ways and I didn't do anything to stop him. I woke up in his bed the next morning in my underwear. I didn't do anything with him technically, but the fact that I woke up there and I knew I hadn't prevented him from touching my body makes me feel sick to my stomach. I'm scared to tell my boyfriend about it because I don't want to hurt him in anyway. I also want him to trust me and this would be grounds to never trust me again. We've always had a completely honest and open relationship, and I'm scared that keeping this from him would hurt our relationship. Since the incident, which was two nights ago, I've blocked my old FWB on all social media and messaging, but the guilt is still there.