I cheated

I cheated on my boyfriend

Tuesday, April 19, 2016 10:17 AM by Guest Rating: +7|-7

It's like there is a hole in chest....I'm numb and dumb. It started when we were 15 years old. He was the first guy to show interest in me. It was an instant connection. We moved really fast.. we talked for 2 days and become boyfriend and girlfriend. I was INLOVE with him. All I wanted was to be with literally 24/7. I was a freshman and he was a sophomore when we started to date both 15. Well everything was perfect until my junior year when I found out he had been talking to another girl and did stuff with her. I dont know but I couldn't help but to forgive him and take him back. Now I loved him but when we would agrue he would tell me now guys will ever want me..and that was hoe,slut, ect. I dont know why but I still just couldn't let him go......fast forward my senior year I get pregnant. We are 18. So I decide this is it. we are going to have to be adults and grow up and commit. I grew up without a father so I was determinded to make this work. Well maybe a month before the baby is born we get our own place and have a house warming party. at the party my boyfriend kept talking to this girl and I thought it seemed a little weird they were talking so much, they also left to the gas station together. Later during the week I found out he did stuff with her. Again I forgave him because of the baby. I thought I needed him to survive. After the baby is born a week later I find out he got dirty pictures from another girl and hung out with her. I honestly just kind of blew it off. Like it was no big deal... I confronted him but it wasn't a huge arguement. I was exhuasted from the baby. He was working hard to provide for us. well maybe 6 months later I met this guy and idk why but he just made me feel something I hadn't before...I ended up snapchatting him but thats it until my boyfriend found out and broke my phone and the closest. Then maybe a month later I found out he was posting craigslist ads to hook up with someone.. well a few months later we decide to call quits. I was devasted. I thought no guy will ever love me like him. I lost the love of my life so of course I fought for him back and we did get back together. We moved to a different city with his parents where I started school and work.. thats when I hit rock bottom. I met a guy at work and it was a connection I missed I guess....I ended up sleeping with him and my boyfriend found out and I just can't stand what I did...what kind of person does that to someone they love? a really shitty one. Im in a hole right now..just far in it and I don't know how to think or feel. I screwed up and I wish I could take it all back. I hate myself for it. I didn't believe I could hurt someone like that... I want him to hurt me like I did him. He told me if were to get back together it would be for our son and he would never love me again bc of my stretch marks. I can't have a phone and I have to cut all my social media and friends off. I cant go visit my family for awhile and he wants full custody if I do leave. I can't eat, I can't focus.

Tags: Craigslist; Custody; Pictures;

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Comments

Tuesday, April 19, 2016 2:28 PM

Guest

You have to take more control of yourself. The child is usually awarded to the mother. You did nothing wrong. Your bf thinks he can do what he wants but you can't and that's not true. A 50/50 relationship means exactly that. If he can do it so can you. Tell him since he was messing around with other girls you thought it was an open relationship and see what he says. He thinks he can do what he wants. Gain more control of yourself. You don't need him you need YOU

Wednesday, April 20, 2016 1:11 AM

Bremen

It's really time to move on. Don't let someone sap your young years and most of all no need to hate yourself this much. As you get older you'll learn that. There be people out there doing some nasty ass shit but they conscious clear all the time. Don't stress over people that don't have your best interest in mind.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016 2:42 AM

Guest

Take a deep breath. Yes your life is fucked up, and has been for some time. Probably from before you met your boyfriend. This was not your fault. Now you are an adult, it will be your fault if you do not start cleaning up this mess and making a decent life for yourself. The first thing you have to do is to understand that you have allowed yourself to be mistreated because you do not care enough about yourself. Unless you want your son to grow up like that, you have got to change. You must demand normal human respect from yourself, and from those around you. That means, you do not put up with abuse of any kind. As far as your boyfriend is concerned, he has a lot of maturing and work to do himself. Neither one of you were raised with much discipline or love. It is time to change that, if only for your childs sake. First, you need to be in a decent environment so that you can think clearly and work this out, that means with or without your boyfriend. Second, you need to straighten out things with your boyfriend. He is 50% of the problem, he has to own that, he has to understand that he did the same thing to you that you did to him, and he has to understand that it is time for this stupidity to stop. Both of you have to cut off all contact with the destructive people who you have fooled around with in the past. Then you both have to be completely honest with each other and start to form a life together with discipline and rules. Depending on your background, your religion will offer you some moral laws to follow to help you. If you are not all that religious, it does not matter, you just need to identify the religious culture you were raised in and look into those rules. Go to services, and religious study it will help you. Long before there was therapy there was religion and its rules. Most people do not have psychological probelems, they just need a defined system of rules to follow and give definition to their lives. It is simple and if you make an effort the effects will be noticable quickly.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016 3:50 AM

Guest

I normally would called cheaters, whore, slut no good and so on. But in your case you was just a normal human making a mistake. He was never a man to you or for you to begine with. You are not a bad person and you should not feel bad about what you did. Live and learn. The guy is a manipulative asshole and doesn't deserve you. He never loved you or care for you. That's why he cheated. Your numbness feeling and your cheating is you breaking free out from his Control. Don't give it back to him. Take your kid with you and collect from his ass. Remember this is a man telling you this. Find someone who cares for you. And don't cheat again. You are a forgiving person and no matter how many times he fucked up you forgave him. You made his same mistake once and now your the worst person in the world. fuck that and fuck him.

Monday, April 25, 2016 8:33 PM

Guest

I don't get why so many men say they hate stretch marks, it's a really shitty thing to say, because it is something you can't change.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016 10:10 PM

Guest

keep in mind all women should be treated like queens and men should kiss the ground we walk on unless we are proved guilty dirty nasty sluts and whores. don't let a man treat you like a dog ok? now about stretch marks fuck him! he must be gay not to find the natural beauty of a woman attractive. stretch marks are natural and everyone gets them.

Thursday, May 12, 2016 6:54 AM

Guest

the biggest mistake was getting pregnant at 18 with someone you dont even know of trust. You both are only in the relationship for the child and not any other reason. 2 happy separated parents are better than 2 together miserable parents. you should give him a chance to leave and agree to an amicable arrangement for your son.

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