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I cheated on my husband of almost 10 years

I cheated on my husband

Tuesday, December 20, 2016 8:25 AM by Remorseful cheater Rating: +185|-71

This story may be long so please bear with me. I have been with my husband for 15 years and married for close to 10 years. Halfway throughout our marriage I was diagnosed with an illness which decreased my sex drive. I also have no kids due to my illness. Because of my low sex drive I would mostly say no to my husband if he wanted to have sex. Sex would occur maybe once a month of maybe every few months.  One day while watching TV I grabbed my husband's phone to look at some pictures that he took and he immediately took back his phone and started acting suspicious. My husband is a very bad liar so I knew instantly that he was hiding something. He confessed and showed me all the porn that he had been watching. I was so upset at him and cried because I felt betrayed. If he told me he was into porn I would have been okay with it and watched as well, I guess it was the sneaking behind my back that made me upset the most. Months went by and I could feel my hormones starting to change. I was always horny. This time when I wanted to have sex my husband never had the time (he works 2 jobs and gets exhausted). 1 night we made the plan to have sex when he got home, but it never happened. When he left for work I started watching porn but it did nothing for me. I then began to masturbate, but again nothing. I decided to go online and sex chat with strangers to see how it would make me feel. I chatted with a few guys and the feeling was incredible. Made me feel so bad. I would take sexy pictures and rejoice every time I received a compliment on my hott body. I felt wanted, which is the exact feeling I was longing for. I then began chatting with this new guy. He was different. He was funny and cute and also married and feeling lonely in his marriage. With him it wasn't about the sex it was more emotional.  For me, I have an amazing relationship for my husband so i was purely looking for something sexual. I spoke to this guy for a month and finally decided that we should meet.  I would wake up in the morning and my husband would tell me how beautiful I was and how lucky he was to have me.  A week before meeting the other guy I started feeling knots in my stomach knowing that I couldn't betray my husband. I ended up coming clean to my husband one night after dinner. I told my husband about how I was going to meet a stranger to make out and told him it was because I was feeling unwanted from him. My husband was so graciously understanding and did not get upset at me. More than anything he was trying to understand where all of this was coming from. He kissed me and told me he was glad I came clean and that he would never be able to tolerate it if I actually cheated because he has too much self respect to stay with me. He said "if you ever cheat on me, I never want to know. If I know, I will leave you, and I never want to leave you". I stopped chatting with the other guy at this point and started to work on my marriage. Things were starting to get really good, but in the back of my mind I couldn't forget that rush I felt from talking to a strange man and have him admire my body. A few weeks after confessing to my husband I was back online. I started talking to this guy who was also married but with kids. He was looking for an NSA relationship just like me. He was so smooth with his words and somehow convinced me to meet him a week after we started chatting. I was at my friends bachelorette party and planned on meeting him in a McDonald's parking lot for a quick make out session before heading home. I get into his car and kept hearing him tell me how hott I was. He made out for 10 minutes, he even offered  to lick me down south but I refused. As soon as I got home I was so turned on and ended up having the best sex imaginable with my husband. I continued talking to this guy and he turned out to be a decent human being. We would talk daily for 4 weeks and met up 3 times just to make out. One day after much thinking I decided to end things and told him I had to work on my marriage. He asked if we could meet one last time and i agreed that we could meet on his birthday. This guy had a way with his words and it was so hard to say no. So yesterday I went to see him, but this time it was in a hotel. I bought the sexiest outfit and lingerie I could find. He was so passionate. He kissed every part of my body and even did things I wouldn't allow my husband to do. I gave him a bj and made him cum within a matter of seconds. He called to check up on his kids and they weren't well so he wasn't able to get hard in time for us to actually have sex. But what we did enjoy was 3 hours of passion and I can't get it out of my mind. I am ashamed to say that i woke up this morning feeling no regret. I love my husband and will spend the rest of my life making it up to him. I will also take this secret with me to the grave. I guess the reason for my confession is to know how I could move forward.  How can I make things better? A million thoughts and emotions have been running through my mind all day and I know in my heart that my husband deserves better.  I know I'm a cheater, but that's not the only label that defines me. I love my husband more than I love my own mother. I always think about all the years I deprived him of sex, yet he still never cheated on me...and here I was after a few months of neglect going off and having an affair. He is my best friend and i could never imagine my life without him. I know he deserves better. How can I make myself better and worthy of him? I no longer speak to the other guy, but how can I stop myself from getting tempted again? I would appreciate some honest advice.

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Tuesday, December 27, 2016 11:15 PM
Guest

Only thing you can do now is everytime you are tempted use it with your husband only and only him. Focus on him so much that you never accidentally tell him how you cheated on him as that is not what he wants from what he said. Focus on your hubby so much that you don't even think about going online for some sexy fun with other guys. Feel free to speak up to do some sexual things with your hubby too as a couple talking it out is always a must for a healthy relationship. The wrong done has to be forgotten and not attempted again is all you can do now and you best have lots of fun with your hubby.

 

 
Wednesday, December 28, 2016 1:02 AM
Guest

https://www.youpic.com/photographer/IsabelIsabel/

 
Thursday, December 29, 2016 8:44 AM
Guest

You bitch. You said no for sex, and he just watched porn (admittedly behind your back) and when he didn't have time for sex you cheated on him? Damn...you are not worthy of him or anyone else -_- Wanna feel better? Confess and for his sake, leave him. He deserves someone much much much better than you. I'm sorry, but that's the cold, harsh truth.

 
Friday, December 30, 2016 1:06 AM
User

Slut, wheres your honor. your entitled to nothing.

 
Monday, January 2, 2017 10:57 PM
Guest

let him have kids with somone eles coz your a cunt 

 
Friday, January 6, 2017 3:25 PM
Guest

Yep your a cunt.Do the honourable thing and tell him your a whore and he is now a cuckold.

 
Sunday, January 8, 2017 8:50 AM
Guest

True love, real, honest love, does not mean, 1) Cheating on your spouse, and 2) After cheating on your spouse, not feeling any regret.  It pisses me off every time I hear, "I love my spouse, but I did/can/will/want to cheat on them again."  That's not love, that's selfishness. That's wanting to love someone else because you're married/in a relationship with them, you really do like them, you get along well with them, you're friends, it's too much trouble because you have kids and/or share finances, and you really do want them in your life, BUT you care more about yourself, your needs, and your wants, and you will put those above your partner (and kids, if any).  If you're saying you love your husband, but want advice on how not to be tempted, then you have a problem.  If you are not strong enough to be a woman of honor and faith, to suck it up and stand by your vows, then your husband needs to know that you are feeling temptations and I highly recommend the two of you seek professional counseling.  If you don't want your husband to know, then you need to seek professional counseling yourself.  My personal advice to your question - "How can I stop myself from getting tempted again?" - You make the decision in your mind and in your heart, and you stand by it. You have to truly want it, and pour your heart into creating a strong, faithful, and healthy relationship with your spouse. Women and men do it every day, you can too.

 
Monday, January 9, 2017 12:53 AM
The Hand of Justice

God hates people like you, you will burn in Hell

 
Saturday, January 14, 2017 3:12 AM
Sid

I acualy realy like this story and would love to talk more. Kind of have had simuler relationship but from the guy side and never got to makeout with anouther women byt do get excited talking to some one new. My wife has cheated and told me she did the one time she found me talking to some one eles and it was acutaly twice she did one before i was in he army and agin while i was in. would like to talk more if interested. cid5 at live. Also just curios were you met ppl to talk to online thanks for your story

 

 
Wednesday, January 18, 2017 4:38 AM
Armando

I want hung man for my petite wife...

 
Monday, February 20, 2017 5:19 AM
Guest

So a few weeks after you had the talk with him and promised him that you would work things out, you go back to looking online for something sexual? What the fuck is wrong with you?

 
Wednesday, March 22, 2017 7:17 AM
ALF

Short answer:  You can't make yourself better.  The old saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" isn't necessarily true.  But once a cheater in a relationship, always the cheater in that relationship.  That is the mark you must bear as long as you remain in this relationship.  You can fool yourself into thinking that if act extra nice to your husband things will go go back to the way they used to be.  Not the case...ever.  The only one that can take that stain away is your husband.  He does that by unconditionally forgiving what you have done and rededicates himself to building a stronger relationship with you. But of course, he has to be aware that anything has happened before he can do that.  He has demonstrated that he his far more emotionally and morally superior to you.  You're pretty much going to spend the rest of you life being a "wannabe".

 

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