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I don't understand? Help pls!

My wife cheated on me

Thursday, January 28, 2016 8:39 PM by Michael Rating: +23|-14

Me and my wife have been married for 12 years now.We don't have kids.

I never expected this from her.One day when I got home from work I walked in on her giving head to another man.He immediately ran out of the apartment,didn't even get dressed.It is safe to say that the situation was quite shocking and tumultuous.At first I remember being shocked and then angry,my anger prevailed,I forcefully lifted up my wife and literally slapped her around-something I'm not proud of.I demanded an explanation.She said that she did it out of boredom and negligence on my part.

I have to admit that in recent memory I haven't been the best husband,I've been a better provider than I have been a husband but I don't think that what she did was sound and reasonable,I don't think that was a good way to go about a marital problem at all.To my surprise she claimed to share the same opinion so she started apologizing,literally begging me to forgive her.

It's been nearly 2 weeks since that happened and we haven't slept together in the same bed nor have we kissed or done anything physical.Speaking of kisses -how am I supposed to kiss my wife ever again knowing what those lips have been wrapped around.That is the main problem here-I can't get over what happened ,it's scarred me for life,It plays in my head every day,on a loop.

A couple of days ago I finally decided to sit her down and talk to her about what happened properly.She told me everything,showed me everything.Apparently she met this person on Ashley Maddison-another detail I can't get over.Anyway,she deactivated her account before my eyes,deleted all of his contacts-phone number etc and begged me again.

I think I have already forgiven her but that is not the point.The point is that our bond has been damaged so bad I don't think it can be repaired.Even if I ever trusted her again,which would be very hard to achieve , I would always remember what happened in detail and it would always gross me out.At the same time,I love her so much and can't imagine my life without her.Me and her used to fight a lot,we used to break up many times before we got married which made me realize that even 1 day without her is painful enough.

With all of that being said,what should I do? Anyone experienced anything like this? Help pls!

Tags: Kids;

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Comments

Friday, January 29, 2016 1:33 AM
Guest

Even though it's not all your fault,you are to blame too.At the end of the day every woman needs some proper dick.If you don't give it to her,she'll find it elsewhere.What I'd suggest is that you cheat to so you can be even and continue this marriage since you love her so much but if you feel like you can't live with her any more just get divorced and stay friends.

 
Friday, January 29, 2016 2:09 PM
Guest

One thing I can promise you is you will never forget what your wife has done. You will try and convince yourself that you have forgiven her but you really won't - not 100%. You will hold it against her for the rest of your life. But you won't tell her. You will think about it everyday for the next 10 years and every week for the next 10. You will think about it every time you have a fight and every time she goes out with her girls friends. When you have sex with her you will image her having sex with that guy and it will turn you on. othertimes it will piss you off. You will have mind battles with yourself - did she do it once, twice, multiple times with this guy.   Was he the only one? What other positions did they do. Did she do things with him that she has done with you? You will think about asking her but you won't because you are afraid of the truth. 

If you think you can live with these memoires for the rest of your life then stay married. If you think you can't, leave her now. I stayed and after 30 years I'm still married to the same  woman and we are happy. 

 
Friday, January 29, 2016 11:16 PM
Guest55

Man up and talk to the woman for real. Let her know what you are feeling as a man and as her husband. Their is an old saying that goes if you you can't do it another one will. That's not making an excuse for her actions but opening your eyes to the roll that you played along in this. You seem like a good man, but a workaholic. A relationship is between two people it's not one sided if you can't play your part and hold your position some else will. Talk to your women and let her know the real. Let her know that she hurt you and broke your trust. That you love but, that shit hurts. Did she even think about you and how her decision would affect you? Where was all that love when she was with that other man? Talk to her honestly and don't just listen to what she has to say in order to justify her actions. She went against your marital promises. Those are sacred and she tainted that. Talk to her, both of y'all either need to heal together or take time and do it seperaely.

 
Saturday, January 30, 2016 11:34 AM
Guest

Break up with her. She probs has those contacts someone's else. Most likely Wrote it down. She's a slut and a complete whore and is MOSTLY LIKLEY CHEATING ON YOU Still, with other people. She won't stop and she would have NEVER told you if haven't gotten caught. She's not trust worthy, and not worth it. Sucking on other dick while you work your ass off. JOT WORTH IT. You can do so much better than some bitch slut. Dumb her and she'll just get a new boyfriend. She just wants dick and money. Leave her and find someone better. She's a slut, always will be, currently is one 100%. I know this because IK who you are. 

 

 
Saturday, January 30, 2016 12:07 PM
Guest- M.Rob

Trust me... I'm a serial pick up artists... I thrive on woman like this...

once a woman cheats you can forget her being yours! She'll always cheat ...

simple answer ... Dump her... And move on... Find someone else..,

 

 
Saturday, January 30, 2016 9:49 PM
Guest

You need to leave her. You cannot forgive, many cannot. Why prolong the inivetable. You deserve to be happy too. I had a similar situation and I am happy to say that my second wife is the best person for me. Never been happier.  I never thought it could happen again. 

 
Sunday, January 31, 2016 2:21 AM
Guest

Once a cheat, always a cheat, dump the slag and move on to better things.

How many dicks has she got to have before you realise she's no good?

You deserve better!

 
Sunday, January 31, 2016 7:45 AM
try to work it out

Whoa whoa! Hold up! This woman said she needed something from him. So in return he leaves??? What the hell kind of logic is that?! And he loves her! Said he couldn't spend one day apart. 

I don't think it's your fault by any means. Your wife needed something for herself. It wasn't something you could provide her after 12 years of marriage. You couldn't be the naughty one night stand who makes her feel like a drunk 20 year old again. It's not your fault. I'm not saying it was right but if you can try to forgive her, and she is honest in wanting to work it out, then you should give it another chance. 

As for actually walking in and seeing her in that way. Would it have made any difference had she not been your wife? What if you he seen it before you married her? Would you had still wanted her to be your wife? If yes, then you can continue to have sex with this woman. You have to make an effort to be in the moment. To actually look at her and to see her. Not let your mind wander. 

I hope it works out for you. 

 
Sunday, January 31, 2016 12:38 PM
Guest

Get rid of your "wife". She has it set up for her benefit which is to fuck men without having any obligations to her. That means she has shifted the obligation of her fucking to you. Suppose you decide to live like her and chase other women. No woman will fuck you let alone date you cuz you are a married man. It does not work like that for her because any man will fuck her, married or not. So, if you ever wants woman, to love you or to fuck you, you gotta get rid of your fucking wife. 

 
Monday, February 1, 2016 1:56 PM
Guest

What the two of you need is marital therapy.  That will let both you and her know if you can get past this or are better off divorcing and moving on.

 
Tuesday, February 2, 2016 6:05 PM
Guest

You bwtter get used to tasting and smelling other cocks when u kiss her. Ashley Maddison is a site just for cheaters. Why was the acvount still active after getting caught weeks before...Easy because she is still sucking and most likely fucking other dudes...marry her if you dont mind and it excites you or drop her off in the hood naked with her suitcase. Send her my way. I would love to feed her my 8 long thick inches. Get even with her first. Make her agree to let you take nasty pics of her...at least nude, but even better if downright filthy...lol Then share them with us first..then her family..her co workers...and in public places. She will be gettinh plenty of cock and not bother you anymore.

 
Tuesday, February 2, 2016 7:29 PM
Advisor

Dude, these chicks will play mind games and make you think that it is your fault for her cheating. Cheating is always a choice, always. File a divorce and get rid of her, because i bet that is going to happen again/

 
Wednesday, February 3, 2016 2:49 AM
The Bad Doctor

So unfortunate. Lust is a reason for divorce. You will survive without a cheating wife dude. The best thing is to let go, carry on... You seem like a good guy and seem to be sane, also listen to your inner voice, which out-weighs the other between her loyalty versus her infedility (as a wife) Ask yourself... Do you think you can honestly trust her, do you know if she would do it again, do you think you can help her get through it as well as in help her to help you as well in fixing the bond, are you still interested in getting even, if so you are not ready to make a decision..

 

There are a host of questions yo need to get through before you make a declaration. Maybe try to take your timem and listen to yourself, on the side though you may need to try and stay away from her caniving ways, you were the last one to find out that you two are in an open realtionship therefore she thinks you are stupid and soft, try to think of that should you decide to go through with the marriage.

 
Thursday, February 4, 2016 5:33 AM
Guest

Dude, you're an abusive bitch with most likely a little dick. And she doesn't sound like a strong personality type, so it sounds like you bully her. I'm a 6'3" attractive Latino with an 8 in dick. And every time I plow someones wife.....its always the wife of some angry, resentful, boring and pessimistic husband. When sthe last time she walked in the house and ordered her to take her clothes off and put her ass in the air....then eat her til shes wet as fuck...then fuck the hell out of her? I bet you have no idea how to please a woman.I'm like really mad to read that you hit her.....you're such a bitch for that. A bully, and that's why you made her sit down and delete her Ashley Madison so you can try to force her into being faithful. How morbid and pathetic is that reasoning? Youd be content with a marriage to a person who is only faithful because you scare them? Wow. Well just to inform you....no matter how much you feel like you're stopping her....you can't. That pussy will never be yours again man......I mean bitch. The minute she feels the situation is cooled down, she will be looking for dick again. And if you think she lost contact with the guy....ur a dumbass. Meaning that she told him all of your business....even about ur little non functioning dick.....so she has his #....I'm sure he didn't change his. Good for her......you little bitch.

 
Sunday, February 7, 2016 3:34 PM
Guest

12 years, no kids? That is the problem right there. Why no kids? Your choice, then get a divorce and let her find a real husband. Her choice, dump her and find the mother of your children. Even if you cannot have your own biological children, you can adopt or foster children. Marriage gets stale without children. Children are a lot of work, but that is the whole point of marriage. Answer the kid question and you will know what to do, most likely it is divorce. 

 
Saturday, February 13, 2016 9:34 AM
Guest

I'm going through something similar as we as we speak, the only difference is that I'm in the military. I just recently found out that my "wife" cheated on me when I was deployed. She didn't physically cheat but she was going out to the clubs and meeting guys and texting very inappropriate things while being. Life's a bitch and I'm not that religious but if its really stressing you out, get on your knees and pray about it. Because what I found out is that no matter if you stay with her or leave her you're gonna need to forgive her so that you can really be happy.because if you don't your just gonna have trust issues with her or the next girl you meet. But the only advise everyone is telling me is God, bible , and church, therefore I can only pass on the wisdom that was passed on to me. With that being said I wish nothing but the best for you and that you live a happy life nomatter the outcome.

 
Monday, September 12, 2016 9:54 AM
TheBestAdvice

This is q very tough situation. Even if you try to fix it you probably can't. If you are willing to accept that it probably won't work out but you wants to try anyway then do so. You must set certain strict condiions for even trying to fix things. Tyne worst part of it all is that she blamed you. That is a very bad sign for the long run.

 

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