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I love him but I love... him?

I cheated on my boyfriend

Saturday, September 10, 2016 11:05 PM by Paulet Rating: +4|-0

So here's the thing. I am a terrible human being. Like, I know, it sounds harsh but that's exactly how I feel. I used to hold proud on who I was as a person, great and the love I have and how I treated by boyfriend of three years was out of a movie. But he wasn't the same. My boyfriend, let's say his name is Mike. Mike is wonderful, loyal, good looking, loving and oh yeah, loyal. This man is the most loyal thing I have ever seen. But, he has bad anger issues. Terrible. He used to treat me like shit, yell, throw things, insult me and even laugh when I cried. I was tired of it. So I left Mike. In comes David, a great friend of mine who has always had a thing for me. I used to have a crush on him before my relationship started but it died once I did. David found out I was separated from Mike and that was all he needed to tirelessly work at trying to gain my attention. I, on the other hand, was battling to stop looking for Mike, all he did was hurt me and I kept calling, asking to see him. And so, I took on David as a distraction. After days, weeks, months, David became my partner for everything. Errands, sex, he was like my boyfriend. And I was slowly falling for him. At the same time, however,  Mike was correcting himself and the change he made was unrecognizable. He was another man. Another, great man. I left David, to go back to Mike. Mean, I know. But love conquers all, I think? Everything is wonderful. Mike is great. But I keep talking to David. Mike is aware but not happy, but he's so bent on being the greatest guy in the world that he says nothing, he politely asks me to stop. David and I were strictly friendly conversation but the other day, I saw David in his car. And we ended up having sex. And I don't want that. I don't want to be a cheater. I want a good relationship with the man I love but I can't seem to let go of David. And I want to, I just don't get why I don't. I've tried stopping speaking to him but he writes and there I go again. Please, spare me the insults, I just want an opinion as to what the fuck is going on and what I should do.

 

Thanks, sorry if it's a little hard to understand, tried to squeeze a year's worth of disasters into 7 sentences. (I think)

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Friday, September 16, 2016 8:34 AM
Guest

Your keeping David around for insurance. Most of us do that. As long as we have 2 we will always have 1. But you will eventually lose mike because he's only getting half of your attention. So mike will eventually move on. But David will still be around. And you will end up being miserable with David because you let the real love of your life go. Trust me I know. I was once in your shoes. I married the other man instead of the right man and that's because I did what your doing

 
Friday, September 16, 2016 11:18 PM
Guest

I am in the exact same situation and I know how hard it is to let go of the second person because he made you feel worthy and lively when everything felt like a shitstorm. Difference is my guy's planning to kill the second guy, which is his bestfriend so fck it. But anyways, it's not really that hard to let go of the second person if you could just ask him. It seems childish but it works. If he's really inlove with you, he wouldn't let himself be a hindrance between you and your happiness. He'll learn to let go if you show him how important Mike is to you now, despite of all his mistakes. You wouldn't trade a long term relationship for a temporary lust won't you? So do what you can do to push David away, he'll eventually let the two of you go. :)

 

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