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I need to get this out of my system

I cheated on my boyfriend

Tuesday, September 6, 2016 3:59 AM by Guest Rating: +9|-13

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years (we're early twenties) and he's the only person I've ever had sex with. For the past few months I've been concerned about not having experienced being with other people and it's led me to feeling like I've fallen out of love with him since it's always on my mind, although I still love him dearly and cherish his presence in my life.


I confessed this to a friend who I used to think had feelings for me while we were at his flat drinking. At first he was supportive and talking with him made me realize I need to break up with my boyfriend at least temporarily to be able to explore myself, but he also was slowly trying to coerce me into having sex with him. I felt too vulnerable to leave and eventually he broke me down and I let him start to touch me for a minute before he stopped and everything sunk in and I burst out crying and got out of there

I know I have to break up with my boyfriend now, and I need to tell him what I've done. I don't deserve him. I need to take full responsibility for my actions. I told my friend we can't be in each other's lives, and he's mad now. I'm worried he'll tell my boyfriend before I can.

Tags: Dating; Friend;

Thank you for voting.


Wednesday, September 7, 2016 3:31 PM

You had the opportunity to do an honorable thing.  Now, as far as this boyfriend is concerned, that opportunity is gone forever.  It was entirely possible for the two of you to get back together again sometime in the future, partly because he would have had good memories of you when you parted.  That's all gone now.  When you tell him what went on, all your wonderful memories will go up in flames and all he'll remember is that you're a cheater.  Not likely he'll want to get back together with you on that count.  You could try to withhold from your soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, but that would make you a liar as well as a cheater.  Not something you would want to base a relationship on, would you?  And your "friend" is always out there ready to tell his tale.  Garth Brookes wrote a song in 1995 called "Unaswered Prayers".  Tell your STBX to listen to it sometime.  If fits quite well with your situation.

Thursday, September 8, 2016 1:11 AM

Wow not entirely sure why so many people act like that movie "how to be single" dude you do not need multiple sex partners to live life. 

I think your putting too much emphasis on exploring what's wrong with a life partner that guy just used you as he thought it was what you want after all you in his place alone talking about fucking out?! Wow relationships are hard work penis or the good stuff will always be around and there can always be an excuse to 'experience someone else' oh he's Asian never done that or he's American and over 6 foot not done that. Dude these are just excuses after dwelling on it for too long you will act on it be it now or when you marry. Need to control those urges or just look at your relationship and think deeper than penetration like are you and your bf a good fit or is it just comfortable albeit not permanent think a little deeper than he physical. As the physical is great it can leave some people feeling lonely and addicted to the attention 

Friday, September 9, 2016 7:21 AM

Why were you at a friends flat drinking when you already have a boyfriend?  Is it because you wanted the sex then?  You are right your boyfriend does not deserve you.  Love is not about sex.  Love is not a feeling.   Love brings about wonderful feelings, but it isn't the feeling itself.  It is a choice to be focused on one person and make a commitment to them.  Otherwise it is just cheap lust.  Learn how to love, multiple sex parters won't get you there. 

Friday, September 9, 2016 5:27 PM

Sex is sex. It is often a reflection of the relationship between two people. You need to question why you want to have sex with another person? It sounds to me like you want another relationship. Make up your mind quick. Yes, you cheated to a degree but probably not enough to destroy your boyfriend's love for you if he really does love you. Tell the truth to your boyfriend and about everything. Lies will only hurt you in the long run. 

Sunday, September 11, 2016 8:57 AM

OK.  You have one major issue -- the "need" to have sex with multiple people.  While it is true that most of us (me included) have had sex with multiple people, it certainly wasn't out of a need for multiple partners to feel fulfilled.  It was more like this:  (1) eventually you end up having sex with someone, (2) typically, that relationship breaks up for reasons that have little to do with the sex (3) you eventually meet someone else, there's a vibe and ultimately you end up having sex with that person.  The pattern repeats until you find your Mr./Miss Right, and get married and live happily ever after.  IF (I did say if) you are one of the lucky souls who finds a permanent life-long relationship with the first person you ever had sex with, I say you are blessed indeed.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 7:54 PM

Don't break up!  Just TELL him you think you - and he - deserve one last no strings attached FLING before you march down the aisle to wedded bliss. If you REALLY want to ensure that he will agree, offer him a threesome - you, him, and one of your hot girlfriends that you know he kind of has a thing for - and you'll do a full-on threesome for him with that other girl - anything he wants - if only he lets you fuck one other guy one time. I bet he'll agree! If he's smart, he will. I would!

Friday, September 16, 2016 1:47 AM

Beak up with the boyfriend as soon as possible.  But tell him of your experience with your "friend" before he does.  If you don't the situation will only get worse.  You are in your early 20's so it is only natural to experience life more.   Don't worry about your "friend" being mad, this is your life not his and who really cares about his moods.  He tried to coerce into sex.   So this is a bit of advise: go out into the world, travel and meet people, experience, life & sex, go overseas or take a car and just drive to where ever you want to go to.  Life is too short to be wasted on people who put in second place and basically use you for their on gratification.  Put yourself first, in a year or so you'll look back with all this in a different perspective.


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