Monday, May 9, 2016 8:20 PM by BrokenAngel
I fell in love with this guy. 11th grade. He was so sweet to me. He ended my depression and my self harm. As soon as I met him everything went away. I had no pain. I was always happy. I was with him and he was the best thing that ever happened to me. He told me everyday that I was the only one for him and how much he loved me. We were so in love for a good 2 years. Then after the 2 years I noticed he was distancing himself from me. I confronted him and he said nothing's wrong and he told me he loved me. A few months later I catch him in MY bedroom with one of my best friends. I ran out crying. I was so hurt. He said he hated me and he didn't love me anymore. He said that our whole relationship was a lie and that he was using me. I cried so much I hurt so much. But in a way I liked it. I never got over him and in a way I love him or hurting me. I loved him for saying those hurtful cruel things. And that's the reason I hate myself. I hate myself so much for lovin him. I love him for breaking my heart. I'm num. my arms are filled with deep cuts. My thighs are bruised and scratched as well. Each of those scars mean how much I love him for hurting me the way he did. I feel nothing I'm not happy I'm not sad I'm not even angry with mY friend for hurting me the way she did. I'm just completely empty. i have no feelings. I don't know what to feel. It's amazing how just one person can change someone's life completely. It's amazing just how one person can ruin someone's life as well. Hopefully I will overcome my depression. I want to so bad.
I still love him
I just feel kind of disgusted in why somebody would ever even say those words to you. How low as a human being do you have to go to be able to hurt someone like that? I hope you're ok
Sweetheart, go for counselling, that asshole isn't worth any of your love. I guarantee you'll find someone who cares for you as truly and deeply as you deserve. Don't waste your life and hurt yourself over a guy who has no heart or soul. Please love yourself, because there are going to be so many people in this world who are going to try to bring you down and the only one who can make you get up and keep going is you.
I know what it's like to get pulled into the darkness in your mind and let me tell you, your greatest fight will be to keep going - but it'll be so worth it. Live for yourself, become independant, travel, eat great food and make new friends (better friends than that idiot of a so called best friend), enjoy life for what it is. Don't let one shitty person be the end of something that has so much potential. Tell yourself you deserve more because you do.
Be strong and learn how to be happy.
I like torture workouts personally where you just go till ur body says no more. Collapse. Rinse and repeat. Endorphines are great. Adrenaline and all. Hurts just so good for days tho