Sunday, August 21, 2016 9:29 PM by Dell
I'm in a relationship now for almost 9 months. I've been in a relationship but this is the longest. I met my girlfriend online and I committed into this relationship even I wasn't over with my ex. She knew I wasn't ready yet but we gave it a try. I've hurted her a lot but she still accepted me and that realized that I can never find someone like her who will love me for who I am, from my worst to my best.
I've fallen for her. I moved to where she live and we are living together now. We are happy, we fight a lot but we make up and everything is perfect until my ex came back.
My ex is from United States. She is my ex for almost 3 years. We dated for 8 months even we were in a long distance relationship. She is just the kind of my dream girl. She was perfect. Everything I really wanted is already in her. And if ever I'll introduce her to my parents, I know they'll love her because like what I've said, she has everything a man could ever dream of.
When we started talking, she told me she haven't been in a relationship after we broke up. That she can never find someone like me. While when she broke up with me, I started dating girls to passed my time and to get over with her. I'd be honest, I still like her but I'm not sure if it's still the same way I lovd her.
I told her that I was already in a relationship and she felt really bad. That time when I felt her sadness, I told her that I'm going to break up with my girlfriend but whenever I try to break up with my girlfriend, I feel bad too because she's been through a lot and she was there for me when I was down.
My girlfriend have this kind of anxiety. And if ever I leave her, I might totally destroy her life and I don't want that to happen. While my ex girlfriend, I never knew she'll come back and want me back to her life. My ex asked me if I already broke up with my girlfried and I lied. I told her that we were done and she started telling me about our future together. Us getting married and having our own babies and after I talk to her, I go home and I sleep next to my girlfriend.
I'm an asshole... and the feeling is so horrible. I don't really know what to do. All I know is that I don't want to hurt anyone.
How am I surviving this kind of situation? My ex/"girlfriend" now lives in other country and I don't have any assurance of us meeting. It'll be years before that happens and I'm just hoping that she'll meet someone else. With my girlfriend I'm living with, it's either she'll caught me or I'll die from accident for her to get over me.
If someone is there reading this, will you tell me what to do?
I am really sorry to these girls I'm cheating...I know they will never forgive me if they'll find out about me cheating on them.