Friday, February 19, 2016 12:32 PM by Guest
I thought I was doing everything right in this relationship. When i met my now ex birl she had made it clear she had trust issues because she was cheated on, abandoned etc. and ays I gave her access to my Ipad and phone (stupid me).. I also never ev r deleted anything hing out of my phone cuz i really ,honestly just wanted to be transparent with her in hopes of building trust, security and grow what i thought was love.... I should also note that she is diagnosed bipolar with extreme anger issues...all of which i did not know until later on....(im realizing how careless i was) I started noticing red flags in in Aug when calls ended abeuptly, facetime became a production due to the position of the camera sudden pauses and camera never stayed in place...SMH crazy right? Anyways i found myself being called insecure, crazy etc if i ever even tried to look in her phone it became an all out cussing session.... I know now it was all a diversion from the truth.
I also realize now that she always called me at odd times when i was out... I thought it was cuz she cared but its clear it was to keep track of my whereabouts because she would always ask wya? how far are u from home...? Or pick up some juice for me etc (how could I have been so naive) well i came home from church last Sunday and my dog was going ape wild...so i let him out and he kept running round the house like he was looking for something then he came in my room and still did the same...
Later on i successful gained access to her pin and checked the phone....OMG OMG... I went into a complete panic/anxiety attack cuz it turns out she's been bring this guy into my house when i went to church or anywhere else for a long time....what kind of woman does that...i saw how he would drive up and wait for me to go out before he came into my house....i get so angry when i think of how badly i allowed myself to be fooled this badly...now im in great fear for my health, im pissed for being so stupid.... She also stole some of my clothes and cologne for this cat...what i dont u d
erstand is why she kept trying to get back with, how she cried and called 27 times in arow (i kept all evidence).... Smh i just dont get why she didnt just leave me alone each time i broke up with her.... I was also consistently physically and verbally abused on multiple occasions....
BRight now i just want to heal from all this pain and anxiety im going through... I heart constantly races and i shake with rage when i think of all the accusations, the tears and headaches i suffered through... The self doubt and insecurities i was allowing myself to feel.... In my gut i knew the truth, i was just afraid to move on all the signs cuz i just didnt want to be right or maybe i didnt want to be wrong and accuse her unjustly. I just dont know
..well ive had to face the facts head on and its been a challenge but luckily for me I have BIG God on my side and i know this too shall pass. I just need to be more careful regarding who i trust. Ive left out a lot of details because quite honestly its just too embarrassing to list them... She always had me on the defensive so i never really a chance to gather my thoughts until recently... Ive also never ever been a big social media guy and i think it hurt because i would have found out through facebook sooner instead of almost 7 months down the line.....
I'm an emotional person and my appetite is the 1st thing to leave when I stress out. As a result ive dropped almost 10pounds in less than 2 weeks... I look haggard and malnutritioned. Right now I just want to eat, calm down and refocus... Ive gotten tested on seperate occasions but im going again... Its sad cuz i really cared about her and the "foster care, hard life, sexual abuse etc she went through. But it really fooled me. Now i ahve to file a report for all the things i have missing and also a protection order so she can leave me alone..... Worse is the fact that im sure she had sex with him and I on the same day....Trust me you guys dont want to know how i found out..