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Is it my fault?

My wife cheated on me

Sunday, September 13, 2015 8:04 PM by Guest Rating: +107|-43

My wife and I have been married for 7 years (together for 10).I am 37, she is 35, and our marriage has been amazing up until recently. We get into the occasional disagreements like every couple, but for the most part it has been loving, fulfilling and happy for both of us. Whilenot as frequently as before, we still share an active and healthy sex life aswell. She is truly my goddess: beautiful, smart, funny etc. and I take great pride in the lifestyle that I provide for us. While I work anywhere from 40-60 hours per week, she is a yoga instructor.

2 months ago I was rocked when I curiously peeked through her email. There was an exchange with a male name I didn’t recognize. I opened the thread to find that this man was emailing my wife dirty texts and pictures while they shared a sexually explicit banter. A rush of emotions came over me, but fortunately I had hours to compose from the rage and come up with a plan before she got home.

I decided not to confront her about it right away but to pay more attention to her demeanor instead.It came to my attention that she'd began to spend significantly more time conducting phone calls than before and that she was busy hence hardly ever home on the weekends.At that point I was sure she was having an affair and that it was serious.I talked to my friend Dean about it, as he's been married several times so I assumed he has a lot of experience when it comes to marriage, so he advised me to set up cameras around the house because according to him, sooner or later my wife would invite the other man to our house.At first I thought he was wrong and that she'd never do that as it'd be too suspicious and risky but I ended up setting up cameras in the living, dining room and in the kitchen. Me and Dean spied on her for a few days without seeing anything suspicious except for her phone calls which I could see and hear without those cameras. One day, Dean and I told my wife we were going to celebrate Dean's son's birthday so I was gonna sleep there as I was gonna drink therefore wouldn't be a good idea to drive. She seemed happy about it so at around 6pm we turned on Dean's laptop at his place. This was the day when I caught my wife redhanded. She was kissing another man in our house. I couldn't believe it but Dean was right- my wife did bring another man over to our house when I was away. They ended up having sex in the bedroom. I even watched them dress up. I was devastated. When they got dressed, I thought he was gonna leave but instead he went to the kitchen for some reason. My wife stopped him, kissed him and as he was leaning against the dining table she unbuckled his jeans and gave him a blowjob. He came in her mouth. I still can't believe she did that. She continued to suck him off and even said she couldn't wait to make out with hubby(me) when I got home. One day later, I finally confronted my wife about it. She denied everything until I provided her with video footage. She immediately bursted out in tears.

I have asked her why she would do such things. Her answer was: " I don't know baby, please forgive me." I am constantly being ripped apart seeking an answer to this question . Needless to say, my self-esteem is shot. I saw with my own eyes that this man turned her on more than I have and she had a much stronger desire to please him. This has caused us to have intimacy problems ever since. Since Her answer is “I don’t know,” it is always running through my mind that it was because of me. Maybe I wasn't able to satisfy her.

Tags: Blowjob; Friend; Video;

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Monday, September 14, 2015 5:53 AM
anthony
  1. Divorce that bitch
 
Monday, September 14, 2015 10:14 AM
Sweet

Divorce if ask why? answer: I don't know

 
Monday, September 14, 2015 3:54 PM
Guest

Unless you can live with it(there's a big chance it will happen again.) There is a reason someone came up with that saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater".....it's really true. It's a character flaw. Rarely, does it just stop. Especially after the first time. It took me too long seeing my wifes panties stained with another man's cum, listening and trying to believe her bullshit excuses, before giving her the boot she so rightly deserved! They will only play you for an idiot as long as you let them.  Trust me, it does get better, and life goes on.  Best wishes, my friend.

 
Monday, September 14, 2015 6:55 PM
Guest

It would take years for your marriage to recover from your wife infidelity.  It is easier to start over with someone else. You deserve happiness.  Unless you have kids I see no reason for you to stay. I would start divorce proceedings immediatly. 

 
Monday, September 14, 2015 7:30 PM
Guest

It's not your fault. It much easier to get 'freaky' with someone new then someone you pay bills with.  Obviously she did not value her relationship with you until she got caught.  Now she is begging for forgiveness. Start divorce proceedings. Make her suffer.  The 'I Dont know' is inadequite. Until she shows true remorse and give you truthful responses do not take her back. 

 
Monday, September 14, 2015 8:29 PM
Guest

The questions you need to ask yourself are ... do you still love your wife? Do you wish you could get relief from the pain of knowing that your wife betrayed you with another man? Does the fact that she lied to you, over and over, eat away at you sometimes... and you don't know how you could ever trust her again (even if you wanted to)? Do you feel that if you could discover the real reason why she cheated, that would help you deal with it? Are you haunted by images of her with another man... images that won't go away no matter how hard you try to not think about them? 

 
Thursday, September 17, 2015 5:52 AM
Fallon

It is absolutely NOT you doing wrong things. She failed YOU by not wanting to please you more. She sounds like a slut, a very disrespectful woman. 

 
Friday, September 18, 2015 4:59 PM
Ash

I Will give you the reason to leave her for ever,

 

Dude, put in your mind Cheating was not a mistake she done, but a choice she wanted these type of people will make you suffer all life , 

leave her go make your life away i'am sure you found someone who be honest and keep you happy

 
Friday, September 18, 2015 7:51 PM
Guest

My wife had sex with another man, confessed because she felt guilty.  I forgave her but it still hurt like hell. It is not that you do not satisfy your wife  it is that it is a new experience for her. I know my wife really enjoyed having sex with this other man and had an orgasm.  There was no problems with our sex life so I do not know why she was willing to have sex with another man.  My wife did say that after sex with this man she thought she might do that all the time so obviously the exictement was very strong.  Your wife is probably very similar that the sexual contact with another man turns her on so much.   Have you thought about joining a swingers group as your wife is obviously very sexual. 

 
Sunday, September 20, 2015 12:55 PM
Guest

You will never get over the resentment if you keep going down the same path. Whether you care to or not, you must to get your wife's agreement that you can have an affair too, at the time and with the partner of your choosing. That is the only way you have a chance to feel the relationship is equitable again. And have a frank conversation (if possible) about her desire for more sex outside the marriage. Discuss if you did some swinging together, whether that might satisfy her. If she is interested and you are not, then it is time to divorce. If her affair was more physical than emotional, she will stray again with 100% certaintly. But if it was more emotional, you may have a chance to repair the problems that led to her infidelity.

 
Sunday, September 27, 2015 6:39 PM
Guest

If you do not have kids go directly to the lawyer and file for divorce. She is a fuck up. You need to get away from her. You can do better. The point of life is to survive, thrive and eventually to reproduce. You cannot thrive with a spouse like her, you will be lucky if you can survive, you would be insane if you had a child with her! Run, do not walk to the lawyer!

 
Monday, September 28, 2015 2:41 PM
Guest

I agree with the majority of the other folks in that the only reason your wife was remorseful was because you caught her red-handed (with tangible proof)!  Do not buy into her bullshit of wanting to be "forgiven" - she is a total whore that has NO respect for you whatsoever, and you need to get away from her as quickly as you can!

 
Wednesday, September 30, 2015 11:28 PM
Guest

This is a tough situation.

First off, you need to ask yourself, can you even be with her afterwards?

What are your and her goals? Clearly she finds sex with other men exciting. Do you find sex with other women exciting? Maybe thats something you guys could share, and this could actually bring you closer. Are you capable of differentiating sex from emotional attachement? Does she have feelings for this other guy, or was she just trying to get off?

Can you ever trust her again? Do you even want to? Divorce shouldn';t be your first decison, unless she is actually in love with another man. Sex is sex, and love is love. They often get confused, and just because she fucked him, doesn't mean she cares about him.

Like the poster above said, maybe you guys would be into swinging. But if your jealous type, then it wont work. It has to be something you are both into. She has to enjoy watching you fuck other women just as much as her with other men.

Do you have any kids? Are you really wealthy? Divorce could cost you everything. How much is your pride worth? There are a lot of questions to ask yourself before proceeding.

IF you do want to divorce, then go out and have all the fun you want without her. Go fuck some hot ass 21 year old if you feel like it. Whatever you do, make sure its what YOU WANT and what will make YOU happy.

 
Wednesday, September 30, 2015 11:29 PM
Guest

one thing is clear "I DONT KNOW" is not fucking satisfactory. and you need to tell her that much.

 
Thursday, October 1, 2015 4:46 AM
JIM MORRISON

Throw her out of the house... You deserve happiness Old Sport... Throw that whore out the house and file a divorce... If she sk you why,you say,Ï don't know baby, please forgive me."

 
Monday, October 5, 2015 3:11 AM
Guest

Dont let love blind you from logic as it has happened to me. She's not worth your time. Better to suffer a little while than and to love and feel safe again.

 
Monday, September 19, 2016 2:12 AM
Guest

i hope this turned out correctly a year on- he should never return to her - seperate do not divorce her cos she will steal half of the assets tell her to leave go to other guy [he will run for sure] and start fresh; then if she wants a divorce its on your terms she walks with nothing cos she took everything by her actions - hope you survived and thrived

 

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