Why haven't you had sex in four months?

Im a little confused here you say that the fact that you can roll over and get it whenever you want is a turn off? Whats the turn off? Does your wife have depression? Maybe she wants a little more attention like taking her out on dates and complimenting how beautiful she is things like that will help your marriage. Communication is very important in your relationship and im guessing by you posting your question tells me that your not communicating well. Hope things turn out better for you and if she still doesnt put out than there may be infidelity going on. Only you and her can solve your issues. Good Luck!

Have you noticed any signs of cheating like coming home later than she should, being on her cell a lot more? If shes telling you its a turn off that YOU want to make love to her than somethings defiantly up. I could understand if you treated her like shit than her not wanting sex is understanable. Sometimes people fall out of love with each other and I think you need to sit her down and both open up about your true feelings. Make it a dinner date and see if she opens up about her reason why she doesnt want to be intimate with you (her husband). You should never have to feel that your bugging her I dont get that part. Marriage is all about each other. Just curious are you two a younger couple?

I  have tried to talk about it and she doesn't want to.. says nothing is wrong. When we were dating it was totally different. She wanted it all the time and would tell me I could have it anytime.. She would say make me your bitch!! I told her a few months ago that she did a bait and switch.

I hope you are right but there are to many signs to ignore. She started going to a trainer and shopping for new cloths. Loss of time when I'm at work. 

She goes to a private trainer and yes he's a male, and seems legit with a website and everything so i know it's not that. The thing is she goes when I am at work. 

She was on vacation last week and went 3 times and only one of those days was on her calender.

Would anybody recommend a devise to track her or record conversations 

Man, try this - http://quasispy.com/

If it's nearly impossible to get her phone than guess what she's hiding something from you. Tell her you want to go to the gym with her from now on. You should start working out, buying new clothes, and going out with some buddies on the weekends and see how she responds to that. Take a few days off work and spy on her especially the days she goes to the gym. If she's cheating it will be only a matter of time before you catch her. Just ask her with no hard feelings if she's still happy in her marriage, if she still loves you because you are feeling otherwise. If your wife can't talk to you about what's up than it's time to move on or be shit on. Next time you try having sex with her and she denies you than I would pack my shit and game over. Remeber your not the bitch in the relationship.