In 1985 I came home from the navy. Came home after hearing nothing from my wife or any one but my brother who was on the same crew with me, Everytime I would ask him what was going on at home he would tell me he was under orders not to discuse any family details with me because it might bring interference in my duties. I asked My CO why i never got an off crew like the rest of the crew but seemed to be the only one constantly crossdecked to another boat to go straight back out on patrol. All he would say is it was I was qualified far above my pay grade since I would not consider reenlisting under the Star program when I discharged I had a total of tweelve deterent patrols in 3 and a half years a total of 956 days under watter the rest of the time in refit. When I discharged I was expecting to be met by my wife at the bus as I stepped off the bus in Charelstown. Instead I was met by the ombudsmand and told my wife was at my fathers house in Indianapolis.
She handed me a key to a storagfge shed i had no idea where it was and then I started out prosseing I arranged for the things my wife had put in storage to move and rented a Horizone to go find the place, I was lucky my brother knew where it was, he extended to go to the yards with the boat/ and was gettiung his stuff ready to move and drive his car up to New Hampshire then Come back as yard transfer crew. I spent four days processing out. Gettiung the things in the shed sent to Indianapolis. I then took off for the long 18 hour drive home in the rental. It turned into about 25 hours when I stopped for sleep at a rest area just north of Spartansburg. Got a couple of thermses at wall mart had them filled with coffee and had that on my way home.
I arrived to a note on the door at 4:00 am telling me to take the sofa and leave my wife alone. I felt cheated after watching the way the other guys were greeted by their wives fter just being gone three months at 400 am Wen their wives just about tackled them. ithin two days I found out my wife was bi polar, had a guardianship asswigned by the state and my wife was telling me that everyone had to have my cooperatoiion for at least two years to even consider letting me have my right to sex as a husband.
Of course I was angry, I was super furious. and I knew exactly where to lay this idea, at my fathers feet. stormed out of his house calling my wife a mercenary b**** I took my bivwac geart with me to the house we chose that day and slept o the floor. I did not want to let her in the nexzxt morning but my mother came with her and said there is always a way to work through these things, but for now just think theres alaways tomorrow. TWo years latter I was planning on going to Rome on th first Vacation I had had in seven years with my wife It was just about two years to the day that she had made her demand for my cooperation and keep the peace witheveryone when she came up and told me i had to cancell my planes because of the same girl two years before wanted to go to Rome with Her mother and father and fiance, She said after her return from rome we could easaly go somplace for a couple of weeks on our own. I was totaly tired of this BS by this time, so I decided to put it to the test. I did not argue even though that was a trip I wanted. I informed her that I would consider thios under several conditions or terms I set. I said a person with nine years seniority should not have to take the back seat to some prettyy blond that slings her reart to get everything done for her like the one i was being asked to take the back seat to the second time in two years.
I pulled her bible out and had her put her hand on it. I told her to swear that when she returned from Rome that whatever, wherever and however I wanted to have a vacatiopn that there would be two things requied, First she was going to ber a wlling partner in sex, and a willing travell com0panion whatever i decided on, I was also requiring my part of the trip to be paid back and the girl never to ask me for another boone in her life as well as my wife taking only 1 third of tyhe cash she hadf planed to take. She swore to it and signed a sheet with my requirments, The girls father was furiouse that before I cancelled he had to pay the almost 2000.00 to me for my reservation. I pretty much knew what would happen the day they flkew in. I had my seabag packed and ready to go in the back I was loading thier luggage when my wife asked what my hurry was I did not have to be at work until three that afternoon, I told her that I planed to be in Kansas by three. ON my way for a visit to my grndparents in Wyoming then on to Yosemite and back in three weeks. She said we discused the best timne for me to take a vacation. They had decided without counsulting me that from january the second to the 14th of february was best for all concerned I would not step on any one toes then. I said was she willng not to shoot the buget down over the christmas holidays that I planed to take off this year anyway. The only way to go somplace nice was tro fly. and i was not enamored with the idea of iceskating across country, My father said why go any where, the last person that did not go somplace on vacation I knew was called into work.
My wife said just go home and go to work we could figure something else out they needed my coooperation in this, She said I got some nice boots as a peace offering for your cooperation. I felt if I caved in this time I was never going to get a life without work or with sex in it. I asked poiunt blank if she was going to live up to her promise. She folded her arms and said not with me holding her promise as a hostage, she said she had been been hopful I would be reasonable, I left the interstate and took her directly to the bus station, Bought her a ticjket to her mothers handed her a divorce filing i had made the day before just needed my signature. My father first ran for a phone and whern he got off he said this is the lkast time i was going to embarass everyone like this with my selfish attitude abouyt things he said i should knock your head off I promised at that point the first swing he would need a headstone where he stood My wife left crying on the bus for two years I was met when i got hiome with a judiucal order that i could not refuse hours offered starting that day Thats wqho my father called, a judge.
I worked every day from June the first 1985 to October5 24 2009 except six around another surgery A tumor renmoved off the top of my brai stem in ther center of my head causing hydrocephallus. My father and coworkers felt if I could stand I coulkd work, On october 24 2009 I was again on the table with four inches of my spinal cord crushed in a MRSA infection. My father exclaimed that i only had another decade to go before i would get whgat i wanted in life, nobody could have predicted thios would happen and he said I was ytthe major problem letting myself get so depressed it coiuld happen.
When I came home suprising everyone i was able to walk and still functioon a s a man I was determined that I was not going to be the cooperator any longer, First I destroyedx the man my wife was in an affair with physicaly, finacialy and his family life Two weeks latter I was tired off my father and his friends taking precedence over my life when my wife was forced into being a wife one evening she was going to a society function, She did not go, neither54 did my fathers friend or my mother and father My father had to wait two hour in emergency to find out how his friend was after when i told him he was to leave my house and he would not until he talked to my wife he slamed face first into the drive right in front of my arriving mother and father. I have destroyecd all family tradition concerning holidays and vacations I woul not vacate my own home because others did not want me there when my wife would not back my father in either he was the first to strike both times, The first on Memorial day 2014. He said I was rude for not letting my wife accompanny his friend to after dinner drinks but choos instead to Pus my way into it an he slaped me earning him a backhand across the kitchen, He thought I was also going to be backed of thios years vacation trip but my wife kept to herself again when I would not cancel out, MY father thought he was going to beat me into going home with a ball bat He left our hotel room door with a broken neck.
I know some people here think That i was to rough with my father over simply being forced to work all the time but I can attest hes been much worse than that in his treatmerent of me. I had served the first basic training and AIT in the army in 1972 Right after my Junior year, I* came back to do the last six months of high school. After deciding i was not going to allow the sons of four school board members to do me out of a position i earned on the first string. Iwith thre other seniors got rough with them and they quit, My father felt I was disrepectful had a disdain for authority and needed to be tuaght where my position in life was, I was knocked cold stepping out of my care and him and four orthe men zip tied me to a tree, Rhey whi0ped me with extension cord until after i passed out. I had to get 153 stiches and three units of blood> my father complained recently that my attitude was never good about authortity and social position, He said if somewhewre along the way I had stoped being defiant we could have found a way for me to have a life, maybe not the life I wanted but a life of peace, He said i have begun to like causing as much pain as possible. I have nothing but resentment for the way I was treated. He says the only thing the doctors and everyone thinksw drives me to walk was so i could spit in everyones eye then when they retaliate use it as an excuse to tear them up. He asked if having this much anger over what I was not let to have is really worth the pain I delivered inm return. He said after all i hads a roof over my head. transportation to and from work. I had one meal a day and a few hours sleep a day what more did I really need, He said other people were not as tough as I was. So why take it out on my poor wife by raping her. then flinging friends off my porch. and destrying tradition that i was necvver a part of. e said most men would not have the ego to try and get out of a whhel chair with my spine. But apparently my ego would not permit it.