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Like a drug

I cheated on my husband

Wednesday, March 9, 2016 9:36 AM by Leah Rating: +8|-5

My husband and I have been having problems, over a span of 9 years. He has been emotionally and physically abusive, which I've asked him to get help for. He is now, after I told him I cheated on him. I never would have believed I would have cheated, but I felt resentful, careless, and selfish.  It felt good to be paid attention to by another man.  As I was doing it, though, I considered what my options were.  I didn't feel good about the fact that I was being unfaithful, so I had tried to break it off a couple of times. This was before me and my lover had even had physical contact.  I did end up going out on a date with him and ended up back at his place. I'll just say it was fireworks. I have a hard time getting him out of my head because of that. Anyways, my lover told me he'd marry me, if I wasn't attached. He told me he was falling in love with me. He offered to buy me all this stuff and take me on trips.  I started having feelings for him, but I analyzed the situation. Our values and life goals didn't align. The only problem with my husband was his anger. Everything else my husband was golden on.  He takes care of the kids, our house, he cooks, cleans, and goes to detail in getting me whatever it is I want. He's stayed with me through my emotional periods. My lover, on the other hand, shows his caring through money. Not sentimental things. He cheated on his wife years ago and didn't care to make it up. He says he is a "caveman" to the core and, when I confronted him about the things he said (marrying me and falling in love with me) he said he didn't say them. He would find me at work to come talk to me. He told me he was considering working less. He told me he had all the money to buy me whatever I wanted. (He's a doctor). But now, he acts like none of that mattered and could care less if I even existed.  I'm sure it's because of my emotional roller coaster ride. That only reinforcea my logical reason for staying with my husband, which I have chosen to do, but my heart remains with my lover. I'm having such a hard time moving past him and focusing on my marriage. I truly believe my marriage can be saved. We're going to therapy and counseling. It'll just take time, but the hurt in my heart is overwhelming.  I'm confused and a mess. :(  I fell for a man that I have no clue how he honestly feels about me, and I took advantage of a man that could be everything I need in a msrriage, except for the anger part. 

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Comments

Thursday, March 10, 2016 4:59 AM
Guest

   Talk to your husband and tell him. Give him a  fair chance to fight for you. What you did is wrong but understandable. Will your husband  put his hands on  you again and if so then leave. Not for the other man but for your self worth. 

 
Thursday, March 10, 2016 2:07 PM
justaperson3

are you fucking kidding me? you have kids dammit, what will they think of you? do they even know you a whore? what if they friend in shool end up knowing? what will they say to them? "ha your mother is a whore", can you imagine dat? i hope the kids know what you did, they ave the right to choose if they wanna be raised by a whore like you.

 
Tuesday, March 29, 2016 6:22 AM
Guest

Sounds like you've been fucking the wrong guy.  Abusive husband is kind of scary, nobody needs that shit...  Find yourself someone who has the same thoughts and needs as you.  Keep it quiet and keep it simple, it'll keep your toes curled and everything else is in control.  You get what you need and almost everyone's happy.  Just watch out for the fits from the guy who takes care of everything else.  The guy you're with isn't worth the effort I think, unless there's something he has, besides cash that satisfies you.  If you need a good one on the side, make a better effort at finding one good one and enjoy it.    

 

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