Looking to leave

My husband cheated on me

Wednesday, September 14, 2016 10:29 AM by Looking to leave Rating: +5|-5

My husband of 15 years cheated with his secretary and confessed only after many months of me constantly questioning

him. Though he never really talked ld me all the sordid details the little he said devastated me and for 2 years we are trying to work it out. His family eventuall intervened and he finally went to a counsellor by himself he refuses to go with me. I have also gone to a counsellor in hopes of getting closure. The sessions that I went to really did lift my spirits and I felt independent and free. He does try to be more involved and support with the boys and on the home front. But sometimes I feel the only reason we have stuck it out this far is because we don't want to mess up the boys lives. But once the leave the house in about 6 years time

what will happen to the marriage ? I so badly want an intimate (not sexual) relationship with another male person

some one with more sensitivity than my husband and who is willing to share his deepest thought and views

is there any one struggling with a similar issue. I would really like to get your perspective on this

Thank you for voting.

Comments

Monday, September 19, 2016 4:12 PM

Guest

How long has it been? It sounds very fresh. I can understand you wanting to find another man for companionship. If you don't socialise much could you look online for someone to talk to?

Sunday, January 8, 2017 9:51 AM

Guest

If it were me, I would leave now, but since the two of you seem to be sticking it out because of the children, then your only course is to hold out for 6 years as you mentioned. Until then, I suggest you work on building up your confidence and self-esteem by working out, keeping busy, learning new things, joing interest groups, and focusing on your boys. The fact that your husband refuses to go to counseling together means that he is not serious about the two of you working things out together, and that he still wants to hide things from you, and I get the feeling that you know this already. You asked what will happen to the marriage once the boys move out of the house. It's simple. The marriage will end, and you will move on. There are men out there who are faithful, and looking for emotionally intimate relationships - and YOU CAN FIND ONE. In fact, I don't see why you can't put out a personals ad right now, as a married woman looking for friendship with a man. Better yet, as I said earlier, by joining interest groups, I'm sure you can find a male friend to confide in, and perhaps in 6 years, something more than that. Your options are endless if you just open yourself up to them. Too many people trap themselves in relationships that are not healthy and not fruitful. Not every marriage is worth saving.

Please read this article - it has some very good points: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/11/cheating-spouse_n_3721907.html

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Expert's opinion is limited to the information presented, and is to help you consider options; it is not and cannot take the place of a counseling session. By reading this, you agree that none of the experts offering information are liable for actions you or others take. If you feel that counseling could be helpful, please look up counselors available in your area.