Wednesday, April 27, 2016 8:26 AM by Jenny
I met my boyfriend in 2013 at a party through friends. We talked and had hit it off right away. I gave him my number and we had texted for a while and hung out a couple times. I thought he was such a nice caring guy however I was wrong. Before he asked me out he showered me in a bunch of gifts. At first I thought that it was great because no other guy had done something like that for me. I couldn’t believe it. He had brought expensive tickets to a football game, took me out to a fancy restaurant and never let me pay for food. After a month I told him that it was all too much and that he should stop because I can pay for things also. Right before he asked me out he wanted me to meet his family since they live further away. I was a little wary about it because we weren’t dating but I knew we would be soon so I agreed. We had a great time his family was so great. He asked me out and we dated, it was great for about the first 7 months and he cheated on me. He was at a party and kissed another girl. The next day he had came me and told me what he had done. It was our 7-month anniversary. I cried and cried and asked if he had feelings for her and he said no I only have feelings for you I was drinking and wasn't thinking straight I love you and only you. And I thought about it and told myself that it wouldn’t happen again. That summer was rough he wanted to break up so we did for about a month or so. However he was still texting me and talking to me saying I miss you I want to see you. I still loved him and cared about him so we got back together. I kept telling myself that he wasn’t talking to that girl he kissed over the summer but deep down I knew he was I was just trying to lie to myself. They were Facebook friends and I told him that it was weird and he should delete her but he always made excuses. I should have ended the relationship right then and there but I didn't.
College started back up again for me so I came back down to school he was acting weird and told me he was going to her dorm to end things completely with her. He had met up with her for a little and told me it was completely over. I was happy because I thought that we could focus on us again and things would be back to normal and it wouldn't happen again. I was wrong. He went to a concert with his friends 2 months later and met a girl there they were talking a lot and he even drove to see her some days. He lied to me about where he was, when they would hang out he would tell me that he was with the guys. After I found out I had freaked out and told him that I thought we were working on us. He then told me that he loved me still once again and told me that He was struggling with a lot and needed me. He was going through financial issues at the time, had dropped out of college, and hated his jobs. I didn’t know what to do I knew I hated him for cheating on me. He convinced me that we weren’t "officially" back together so it was okay for him to do this. I talked to him about it and asked why do you do this to me and he told me he only loved me and wanted me once again.
Stupidly I took him back I told myself he would never do this again to me, even though it happened twice now. He had a way with his words and was a very manipulative controlling person. I didn’t see it at the time. We continued to date nothing happened so I thought. Then in 2016 of April a girl had found me on social media and told me that my boyfriend was a piece of crap and If I would like to know anything I should contact her. So I did and she told me that they had hooked up 2 or 3 times a couple in 2015 and once in 2016. She had no idea he had a girlfriend. My heart sank I couldn’t believe it but yet I could. I had called him out on it and he lied to me to my face continuously. He told me that she was crazy and she tried to break his best friends relationship up. He tried to block her off my Facebook. Right then and there I knew something was fishy and wrong. His story wasn’t adding up. I talked to the girl more and more and found out what he was really up too. She knew information about him that no one else would know unless you were to spend time with. I confronted him again about it and he found a way to lie to me again. He was always super weird about having social media he told me the reason he couldn’t have it anymore was because of his job and he said he hated it. That’s why he deleted it. So that night I reactivated his Facebook and found many deleted messages to girls asking to hang out and that they are super pretty. My stomach turned and I bawled. I called him in and showed him and asked how he was going to get around this, and he immediately tried do deny it at first but he knew he was caught red handed. he cried to me and told me he has problems and that he was depressed for a long time and that he really loves me and that there is a way we can fix things, that he has problems. I heard it all at that point and I knew that I needed to get out of this relationship as fast as possible it was such a toxic relationship.
So I did the next night after he got home from work I packed all the stuff up that he had given me and broke up with him. He cried and told me he was going to try to kill himself. That he is worthless and he needs me. He made such a big mistake and still loves me. I told him he had 2.5 years to figure that out but he didn’t. He doesn’t need me anymore and he never needed me. Looking back on the relationship I realize that he was a very controlling, manipulative person, who lied so much he started to believe his own lies. I found myself defending his actions when people would question them, lying to my family and myself. Even if he had never cheated he wasn’t a good boyfriend he would put me down to bring himself up. I was there right by his side all these years trying to bring him up and make him happy. He had so many insecurities about himself he would find a way to put them on me. He loved himself and had a huge ego. He was a narcissist. There were so many outlets for me to get out, the first time he cheated I should have ran for the hills. I am a strong woman and I let myself become weak so he could control me. These past 2.5 years was a learning lesson for me. I now know what I don’t want in a boyfriend. People like him will never ever change. He will just find a weak girl to manipulate all over again, and I hope that she sees right through it. I am glad I realized before it was to late. If anyone is going through a toxic relationship like this get out fast! You will be so much happier you did!