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My husband cheated on me

Wednesday, April 20, 2016 7:30 AM by Heartbroken Rating: +1|-0

I found out that my hubby of 21 years cheated on me 3years in a marriage, and there is a child... Which according to him, it was not love and that it only happened once! - and he did not know about that child all those years. According to him this surprised him (he also was notified 5months ago, and met the child behind my back!! I do not nornally go through his phone, but that time - i had the hunch to do that - and saw the communication between the Dad and the daughter - that Killed me! He appologised and still does - but I cannot forget - this comes to me as if it happened yesterday. everytime I look at him - everything comes back. I am devastated do not know what to do to ignore or forget about all these as it happened 17yrs ago. Please help

Tags: Daughter;

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Comments

Tuesday, August 16, 2016 9:09 PM
Guest

17 years is a long time. If the relationship is otherwise good, then you need to forgive him and move on. If her is not truly sorry you should move on. You should give him one chance to tell the full truth. Tell him if he leaves out anything and you find out later that he lied or omitted something important that you will leave him. If you don't want to know the details about the sex then tell him he can leave out those details. One chance that tell you the truth. If he pushes back, or refuses to do this then you should just leave.

In order to mov past this you may find it useful to give him some symbolic punishment.  If He won't accept it, that's a bad sign for the future of the relationship. He should accept this punishment graciously and you have to accept it and forgive him once the punishment is done. You can tell him that you are wanting to forgive him but you are having a difficult time moving past this. An appropriate punishment might be that he has to paint your toenails for a year, or that he has to paint the house or do dishes for a year, etc. The purpose of this is for him to be able to prove to you that he cares for you.

 

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