Tuesday, October 13, 2015 5:10 PM by Guest
I had been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years. He was my first real boyfriend and I was 16 when I met him. He was 17. Initially it had all been magic. After two years when, when my mother pretended I had other boyfriend and told him off for coming round to my house uninvited. She told him that I could have been "entertaining" one of my other boyfriends. My existing boyfriend was very insecure as I was. He thought about this and decided he would rather breakup now cleanly, rather than "compete" with other boyfriends. He wrote me a letter and gav e it to me a coupe of days later. I was shell shocked and did not sleep and thought about nothing else. For me it came. As a total surprise. I lost a lot of confidence in my boyfriend . We discussed it and he suggested we give ourselves some freedom to see others. But he did not mean it.
i told him that I really wanted to love him properly. We had been having oral sex which we both enjoyed but although he had pushed for full vaginal sex I had resisted He asked me if I wanted to try full a vaginal sex. I said yes so the next time my parents were out he came with three condoms. We had our foreplay and he was poised to penetrate me but stopped and said " I cannot do this." I thought he did not think I was good enough for him to lose his virginity with so I felt really down. He said nothing more.
A few weeks later I went out to a club with a girlfriend. My girfriend got me talking to a boy who flattered me and this improved my self esteem. I was slightly drunk an very tired but against my better wishes this new boy insisted on taking my girlfriend am I home in his mini. My girfriend pushed me to agree. Once outside my house where. My parents were. I e asleep the new boy and my girfriend persuaded me again against my better judgement to invite the new biy and his friend in for coffee early in the morning.
Once in the kitchen the new boy asked me if we could go somewhere private. I had to use a a room other than my bedroom which was as far from my parents room as possible. I chose the spare bedroom thinking that the new boy would know it's not my bedroom but a bedroom is a bedroom. We went in there and he. Kissed me and continued to flatter me. Then he started to take my blouse off. I thought nothing of that and helped him to avoid it being damaged. Then he my skirt off off I knew I should stop him but I was slow and could not think of a kind way of doing so and I did not wish to be prudish. Finally he took my tights off. I intervened again to stop them getting ripped This as my limit; I was wearing a full length slip ,my bra a day pair of pants. He lay on top of me and I felt something hard pushing into my stomach. I guessed he had removed his underpants. I moved my hand from his back an string vest down to his bottom and sure enough he was bear from the waist down. This made me move and I asked him to get dressed which he did and I put my skirt and blouse on. We went back to the kitchen only to hear my father shout that it was time the guests left. Before I went to bed I told my girfriend what had happened; she was shocked. I had agreed to meet this new boy a week later.
Next day I was in trouble with my parents although my mother was delighted I had met a new boy and asked all about him. Next day my boyfriend came round I told him I had met someone and he had come back for coffee. He was not pleased but when I told him that I was seeing the new boy in a weeks time my boyfriend went ballistic. He gave me an ultimatum either I cancel my date with the new boy and I would see my boyfriend again, or if I keep the date I would never see my boyfriend again. I did not like being but in this position. My boyfriend said that since my parent were away in a weeks time this new boy would probably rape me. I left my decision till the last moment.
This event destroyed my boyfriends trust in me and I began to see my boyfriend as controlling and suffocating. A year later I tried to secretly date another man but my boyfriend found out and monitored me. I was getting really frustrated. I decided that this summer when I would be in Germany alone I would date whoever I liked and my boyfriend would not be able to do anything about it. My boyfriend knew this. And he became more emotionally abusive. By the time left I did not love my boyfriend any more.
on the first night of my arrival in Germany I was taken out to a fair. I met a man with a deep German voice and it was love at first sight. ; or rather I developed an enormous crush on this German Every spare momenI t I had I went to see him. On the first night he had walked me hand in hand along the beach stopping after a while to kiss me. I thought he was wonderful. He asked about my boyfriend and I told him the only reason my boyfriend stayed with meg was for sex. Two weeks after my arrival I was In bed with the German boy. The sex was terrible and he said. It was no good for him. After that he would nor see me when I went round to his house.
i spent. The next 7 weeks dating men who asked me out ; about one man per week. They all wanted sex. Depending on how I felt I would let them feel me up but never had sex. I felt desperately it was my decision what I allowed and I was trying to regain control of my life despite my suffocating boyfriend who kept writing to me asking for details. I gave up work after 4 weeks so I could chase my crush but he told me there was no hope for us. He did not feel the same about me.
When I returned I tried to lie to my boyfriend about having sex but he tricked me into admitting it. I thought he would be be angry and I thought he took it well. He had sex with me twice when I returned once. In the woods and once at my parents home while they entertained guests in the room opposite. Then he vanished for two weeks to Paris. I serpttled down and was pleased to see him return. My parents were out so we took advantage of that and had sex all night.
Now we are married and have been for 40 years.