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My cheating husband

My husband cheated on me

Tuesday, April 5, 2016 11:57 PM by Guest Rating: +1|-6

We have been together for 10 years. We have been married 5 out of the 10. My husband and I have been through a lot of ups and downs. He is very sweet but sour like a sour patch candy. He's romantic, intelligent and emotional. He has taken on many challenges brought on by my ex who I have a child with. But he also had sex with another woman before we were married and as a result I ended up with herpes. He also has hurt me physically and mentally in the past. But as he and I got older he matured. He stopped the physical abuse and we have learned to live with this disease. I forgave him but I still keep one eye open. He hasn't yet found a way to master his emotions when he let's off steam talking down to me but he honestly slowed down a lot. Now I know it might seem stupid but I love him. summer of 2013 his mom passed away and he was heart broken. I wanted to be there for him and tried to the best way I know how but I honestly didn't know how. He thinks I didn't care. I also coincidentally at that time was having a mid life crisis. I didn't feel like I was special anymore. I understand he was morning but I needed him just as much as he needed me. And he never really made me feel special verbally. By early fall he told me he was leaving me because of the issues he had with my ex. My ex had made CPS reports but God had our back and the reports were dismissed...but his career field is not one that plays around with those kind of problems. And he felt it would be better for him to leave. Remember I'm still in my mid life crisis and I started to feel even more low and out of control. I ended up talking with a guy I knew from college who fed me a lot of positivity and ended up cheating on him. Afterwards I felt worse and knew I just made the biggest mistake ever. I took it upon myself to get counselling and I ended up deciding to keep it to myself instead of causing more shake on a already slippery slope relationship. Afterwards my husband cheated on me. He claims he did it as revenge because he found out about the affair. Took me some time but I forgave him. 1 1/2 years later I told him the truth about my affair. He was so upset I didn't tell him but even more upset because it happened within the same year his mother passed. I feel like shut, scum, ex.... I honestly don't want a divorce and I want our family to stay together. But should we? I think if we get therapy and treat each other good we can over this. What do you think?

Tags: Abuse; Divorce;

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Comments

Wednesday, April 6, 2016 4:30 AM
Guest

Your a walking nightmare. STOP spreading herpes and get help 

 
Wednesday, April 6, 2016 8:37 AM
Guest

You honestly never forgave him for past issues including the herpes.  You said you keep one eye open, to me that sounds like you have been looking for amunition or justification for your actions.  You also a]said his mom died and you decieded to have an affair with another man.  Usually when people are in the state of mourning they can't be there emotionally for themselves so why would you think he could be there for you?  You decieded to have an affair because you wanted to.  You also said he has a career that has a zero tollereance for child issues and if your ex is constantly placing him in situations that he could lose his career your husband isn't at fault for wanting to leave.  Instead of YOU working things out and being there for your husband YOU decieded to cheat!  If he cheated due to the fact that he had reasons to beileve you cheated YOU have to bite the bullet on this one.  He must have loved you tolive with you for a year and a half knowing you were untrue to him.  I appluad you for getting help but I still think you should have been ther for YOUR husband when he was mourning and in tremendous pain.  It sounds like you used herpes and him leaving to protect his career as justification for your cheating.  You have to understand that You wanting to feel speacil isn't more important than a death in the family.  You don't have to be well educated to know that if you are telling another man your marraige problems and spending time stroking his ego than he will find your weakness and use it against you to get you to have sex with him.  I really think you knew what you were doing when you started this relationship with this college friend.  You wanted to cheat so you cheated.  Stop hiding in your lies and be truthfull to your husband before he leaves.  If it were me, I would have left during the time  that he was mourning and you weren't there for him.  You say you didn't know how to be there for him but you found a way to be there for another guy!  You are lucky if he is still around cause I sure would not be.  

 
Wednesday, April 6, 2016 9:55 AM
Guest

Your right. I was so wrong to use justification for my actions. But I apologized. I told him I take full responsibility. But I also go back and forth with the issue of me forgiving him so many times and me making one big mistake. I mean he cheated mutipule times during or relationship and gave me herpes. Makes me feel I was stupid to forgive him. Especially if he can't forgive me. 

 
Wednesday, April 6, 2016 10:14 AM
Guest

It sounds like your husband loved you dearly.  He stayed with you and dealt with the problems that your ex proposed.  Why did you marry him?  You say he's abusive in every way but you chose to marrry him.  To me it sounds like you married him cause you had herpes.  THIS is wrong!  you don't marry people if you don't love and trust them.  Your full of excuses and you need to see this situation for what it is.  You weren't there for your husband after his mother died you were only worried about  feeling speacil or being appealing to the eyes of other men.  You then cheat on him for an amount of time and your upset that he moved out and left you in the fall after his mom died in the summer and you were not there for him?  Looks like the counsiling you recieved was useless and you used it to again create excuses for you not being there for him and screwing another guy.  I agree with the other resondant, you are a nightmare and a shitty wife.  I am a woman who has been married for 12 years.  My husbands dad died and he was very emotional during this time.  I chose to be there for him and set my feelings aside.  Our marraige has been 100 times better since this situation.  He knows I love him cause I was there to help talk him through a very dark time in his life.  You, on the other hand, chose to cheat and form a relationship with another man than to help get your husband of 10 years through a very rough patch in his life!  You are wrong and you need to do what ever it takes to gain his trust and love back.  Woman to woman you were very wrong and you really need to find a way to get back in favor with your husband.  I just hope its not too late for you

 
Wednesday, April 6, 2016 8:12 PM
Guest

This is part two. Your husband posted his side of the story in an earlier post. This might be fake. I gave him advice. I told I him to leave your selfish ass. Fuck your mid life crisis. His mom died you selfish bitch. You don't have respect for each other and shouldn't be together. All y'all do is lie and Fuck around each other.  Should y'all stay together Fuck no U dumb bitch.I bet y'all white people. 

 
Thursday, April 7, 2016 4:21 AM
Guest

 Lol it is fake

 
Saturday, April 9, 2016 9:47 PM
Guest

Why is it a woman tells her story, her inner feelings and automatically she's a whore!!!! A man can screw as many woman as they want and it's ok. Leave you are never going to be happy until you do. You are lacking the commitment and psychological needs from your husband. You have time in life to fill that hole you have with joy and happiness. Just because you have herpes doesn't mean you can't be happy. This doesn't mean you need to go out and try and find "the right guy". Be single, have a good time doing so. Also to have sex is ok but protect your self because a lot of men only want one thing. Be happy

 
Saturday, April 9, 2016 9:53 PM
Guest

Why is it a woman tells her story, her inner feelings and automatically she's a whore!!!! A man can screw as many woman as they want and it's ok.. Leave you are never going to be happy until you do. He has physically damaged your confidence and You are also lacking the commitment from your husband. You have time in life to fill that hole you have with joy and happiness. This doesn't mean you need to go out and try and find "the right guy". Be single, have a good time doing so. Also to have sex is ok but protect your self because a lot of men only want one thing. Be happy

 

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