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My husband and a so called "friend"

My husband cheated on me

Sunday, December 6, 2015 12:44 AM by Guest Rating: +21|-11

I have been married to my husband for 7 years and with him for 9 years. I have a 16 yo son, we do not have any children together. We met at the local pub. I was immediately attracted to him, he was cool and generous. After being a single mother for sometime I felt blessed to have met someone like him. He showed me and my son so much love. We had beautiful dinners and holidays. I was in love, alive and happy.  He moved into a shared house with me, almost instantly. He was not perfect and I learned very early on he was a big drinker - but I turned a blind eye to that problem. We moved into our first home together a year after we were married. The place had a pub directly across the road and he soon became a local. There were pressures in the marriage and it was never easy. It could turn ugly from him drinking or we would both party. His drinking would constantly spiral out of hand, I was continually trying to control his behaviour. Financially we couldn't afford to have our own child, I was unsure at times of making this step with him. This lead to two unplanned pregnancies and terminations. That he supported me with and we both agreed was for the best. Around 3 years into the marriage I bumped into an old Uni friend. She was keen to catch up, however I had given up the friendship before I met my husband. This girl had a history of sleeping with married men. I was slightly hesitant to have her into my life, but I thought that maybe she had changed. I felt secure in my marriage, I was told daily how much he loved me and called gorgeous. It turns out she was having a "relationship" with the GM that she was working with around this time. She came to my house a couple of occassions. At one time she was with my husbands friend. Something wasn't sitting right, I noticed a change in my husbands behaviour. I was suspicious and did not contact her and try and catch up again. 2 years later after we had renewed our vows for our 5th year wed anniversary - moved into a new and bigger place I found out the news. I intercepted a text message with her number. This eventually led to a confrontation. They had sex on the beach one night  when I was at home. He had been round there another couple of times to her home. They claim to have stopped the sex and become good friends. I had caught him out after he was around at her place drinking well into the night with her. She had been placing text messages in his phone that were nasty, and clearly not written by him. I was devasted and in shock. My husband who I loved and trusted. My whole dreams future and life shattered. And as for her - What a horrible evil piece of trash - who does that?? My husband ended up in rehab for 2 two weeks, that did him the world of good. He has sobered up since then and is trying to do everything he can to make it up to me. Im so angry and confused,  I still think about it everyday, analysing every detail. Its like Im haunted by her and the horrible hurtful things she has said and done to me. I cannot believe another female can just go out to try and destroy a marriage. I have my son to think of also, its not that easy to just pack up and leave. He swears he will never, ever cheat again. It is 10 months later Im still hanging in there, but unsure of what the future holds. If anyone has any advice or support please share.

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Comments

Sunday, December 6, 2015 12:19 PM
lee

he betrayed you , played you for a fool, and no it is not un common for a close "friend" to take advantage of a situation. I can say this due to a situation i went through similar to yours. Add alcohol in the mix and its going to end badly everytime. trust is a hard thing to regain, personally i do not trust anyone anymore, not even my wife, whom i have been married to for 19 years. she is a recovering alcoholic as well. I know and understand that people like her are just one drink away from fucking someone either at work or where ever, thats the crap you have to keepin mind if you plan on going back with your husband.

 
Sunday, December 6, 2015 2:32 PM
Guest

Yes, Im aware that he made a fool out of me. I blame the alcohol and at times recreational cocaine - that I did not mention. This girl is obviously not a friend. Like I said she has a history of screwing married men. Its like a sickness she has. Although not written clearly in my story, her relationship with the GM at her workplace - at the time she was with my husband, was a married man. Who would never leave his wife. In trying to make sense of this situation - I blame her as the key manipulater. Even though I know what he did is wrong and disgusting. Im trying, but not sure if I can ever feel the same way about him. In a positive light, I have become alot wiser about who I have in my life and have become alot tougher on who I trust and allow into my life. Thanks for your feedback. All the best to you.

 
Sunday, December 6, 2015 11:03 PM
Guest

look honey I know how you feel about this. I while back my wife wants to go overseas with the kids alone not with me, her reaction changed towards me I did t even know why! I was trying to go with her but she kept refusing me to go with her, till one night she was sleeping and went through her phone and realised she had a Facebook when she said she didn't . I went thought her msg realising she's been talking to a guy from overseas. I was going to divorce her , she told me she won't do it again and it's just she's been unhappy because I haven't been giving her any attention. Now she wants to go to chine  for business but she doesn't want me to go with her. The country she was going first it's different to the country she going now. She keep saying I'm going for business. And she saying if you don't trust me again just divorce me ! But I have two kids with her which I love so much. I do t know what to do!?

 
Tuesday, August 2, 2016 3:59 PM
Guest

check her phone ones more or her boss

 
Monday, August 22, 2016 5:17 AM
Guest

It sounds like you are a strong person. I'm sure that this has been incredibly tough for you. Since you have decided to remain in the relationship, I encourage you to move on from this and to fully forgive your husband. Even though you will be forgiving him, you will be the one who benefits from the process of granting the forgiveness. You may not feel that he is worthy of forgiveness, but he is or you wouldn't have decided to remain I the relationship. If you don't fully  forgive him, you will remain stuck with this defining who you are. Best of luck to you. 

 

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