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my husband cheated on me

My husband cheated on me

Tuesday, March 29, 2016 9:03 PM by cha Rating: +3|-3

we were live-in for 3yrs,b4 we got married in year 2013.in d same year i was so sick,i undergo in an operation i thougt that my husband is happy with me..but year 2015 october he go abroad to work but then i notice something.i ask him about who that girl is,.when i first ask he told me the was nothing.i didnt ask anymore questions because hes far away from me.but then this feb 2016 i really cant sleep thinking of it...so i ask him again if who that girl is?.and he tell me everything i need to know..he has that girl for 1yr and i dont even notice..because hes working in other place he only home with me every month..he told me they had sex for 4times in that 1yr of their relationship..may2014 wen they started until 2015...he told me also that before he go abroad they didnt have any communication..because they end their relationship 7months before he left..but then i keep on asking him and that time when i knew that they had only the formal breakup october 2015 through fb..he told me that he doesnt want to hurt me anymore thats why he keep any detail that would hurt me and make me cry again...he told me that now i know what he does he want me to stop questioning for us to make new start...he is asking for my forgiveness but i cant give him right now..he told me that when he did that thing to me and now i know he realize that he loves me even more..he told me that hes selfish of doing that to me...he told me that he doesnt want to lose me thats why hes asking for another chance to make things right..i really dont know what to do..because everyday now i am thinking of what he does.i keep on asking myself what is wrong with me..i cant lie to myself that i love him and i want him to be with me until the end...what should i do?.

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Comments

Wednesday, March 30, 2016 6:49 AM
I'm a cheat

   I understand  the wanting to know. Maybe you want to know why but the reality  is there is no why. We men don't look at sex the way women do. It's just fun. Not exusing  his or any men's action but it is what it is. Living in different  homes is not good. Your an example why. You have all the right to know and ask and he has the obligation to help you  through it. But details will  only make you bitter. You have two options leave or stay. Follow your brain because your heart is deceitful. If you  cant forgive him your marriage  is already over. He does need to prove himself. If he loves you he will. Him cheating  does  not  mean he loves you less. Respect  you less or find you less attractive. You torture yourself by thinking of something  that was meaningless  to him. ( I know it's meaningful  to you) it's your choice. 

 
Thursday, March 31, 2016 4:19 PM
Guest

I am a women and I cheated and I think it is true that because he cheated doesn't mean that he loves you less. Maybe he just found something that he lacks with you and liked it and did not resist and let himself along 

but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. We are all different and have different qualities and mistakes so if he decided to stay with you let him love you. Forgive him you will not regret it because you will let it go. But always think that if he does it again it might be that he is just not respecting you enough, doesn't love you enough or even lacks a lot of things in the relationship with you 

 
Friday, April 1, 2016 8:41 PM
George

I have to agree with the others, to some people, it's just sex.  But who knows, if he keeps cheating with different woman, he could fall in love with one of them.

In your case, it's simple, if you don't mind him cheating, then forgive him and realize that HE WILL CHEAT AGAIN and you might end up losing him anyway if he falls in love with one of them.  Your husband will say anything to you to keep you, but it could change.  If it bothers you, which it does, then leave him.  The cheating will always be at the back of your mind.  Will you be able to live with it and live with him, sleep with him, have sex with him?  Is it worth all the hate and hurt you'll be going thru for the next few months if not longer?  What about STD?  Is that worth your health?

It's not the end of the world for you if you leave him.  You can start over and WILL be happy again with another guy.  Since you don't have any children with him, leaving him makes it easier.

Stay with him and be miserable for the rest of your life.  Just think, if you leave him, think about how free you'll feel from all this turmoil (sex with other woman, lies, std, etc).  

 
Friday, April 8, 2016 6:36 AM
Mona

I got married 1990 I was 19 and It was Love at First site... We have 2 amazing girls (  a nurse and another at College)

we Just celebrate de our 25 last year . It was an amazing celebration, all couples Have little problems and our problems were like I would say to him workout and Just tone your abs cauz that Is the Main problem on most Of people ( By the way (he Is in great shape)  other times We would argue about certain thing done in the house . He says I was never happy with what he did around the house, and that it is just an excuse for his infidelity. I would off never thought somethings do horrible like this would happend to our marriage , we are always so happy and our sex life was good. I am in great shape I eat right and I am very pretty for him ofcourse!!!! I started to notice some things out of ordinary. He is very bussy at his work and never goes out with other people than me and my friends. Started with I am going to a gathering with people from work, a birthday celebration and the other day He say he would meet with an old friend from work , he told me his name and I believe him. He say was going to the Casino..... Ok so when we usually go to the casino our clothes stink so bad we leave all clothe in the laundry room. 

we came that night hang the red shirt he worn and I knew he did not go to the casino that night.. Next day I ask So you went to the casino ? He said Yes and I asked well your shirt smells nice not like smoke or even a Barr :(. He kept saying I don't know why doesn't smell like the place were I was.

Saturday came and  before I took dogs out I looked at his phone screen that is always looked and saw a message from a 25 year old  .I made it to Fl  it's so beautiful here!!!!! I almost die when I saw that .. My world just collapsed then.

He came down for breakfast and I did not know how to ask So I asked after he ate and looked at his phone .. I asked I saw a message from 2 am from a young girl. He pretended he was looking and could not find anything.. Not in messages at least!!!! Well the I said let me find it and I did. He took phone away from my hand... I new He new He was caught 😱 I say show me that  He did not want to So I run upstairs and told him I was leaving He followed me and was so sorry he did what he did... I know he had an affair and is some one at his to work !!! He said he ended the affair but how I am supposed to feel if he sees her every single day there..

He said over and over He would not do anything to continue with that and I am going out of my mind every days since 23 of March when I confronted him..

i still love him very much and I have 2 wonderfull daughters and a great life from many years

I can't let this tear apart what we did built all of these years

is just not happening!!!!!! I can't let that other girl destroy our life just because she made my husband feel something new and He could not helped!!

Mona 😔

 
Monday, May 9, 2016 10:49 AM
been there

I know how this feels, I have been in the same situation and it did eat me up inside day in and day out for the 1st year. and still does, i mean I stilll look at her fb, and see that she is in another realtionship and has no job, her and her husband are no longer together (due to another affair). she has no has no money and is struggling. (that makes me feel better) not only this but so much has come forth since then about her that my husband regrets ever meeting her. If he really want everything to be ok, then he will put up with all the nagging, questions, accusations, and still hug you and tell you he loves you and wants to be with you. He will do anything for you... Mind did!

 

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