Monday, November 30, 2015 9:41 AM by Guest
My husband found out about my affair one day I told him I was gong to spend it with an old collage roommate. It was aqctually an old boyfriend from decades before that we had reconected on face book the previouse year. My husband had just come home from three years of painful rehab after suffering MRSA in his spine. I was just going to tell my AP that it was over. I thought the muscle relaxer that my husband took would keep him down the whole day. But as we pulled away in that solstic I saw my husband standing in the door watching. A few seconds later his cell phone rang in my purse, He called six times and at five that evening i finaly picked up. I told him I would be home in an hour or two. He is a good programer and I found out that night while he was in rehab he had used his laptop and on that windows based cell he had placed a program on it to seize all functions remotly. He used the locater to find first where i was at, then he used it later to turn it on when i did not come home when I said, He heard everything and joke me and my lover exchanged, Many at his expense.
My husband and I before the MRSA did not have a real relationship. When he came home from the navy in 1985 I had been asked by his father, union leaders, and many others in the community to help keep my husband from coming home and using his accrued seniority I his automotive manufacturing position. It was as if the mouth of hell had opened withing the first three days he was home. The second day his mother came into the room I was in. I had not even Seen my husband except for a half hour six months before since our wedding Three and a half years beforeWhen he told me he was not going to re enlist but was going back and reclaiming his UAW position and seniority, I had started displaying the first symptoms of Bi Polar by that Time, I had spent time in a South Carolina Mental hospital and had been living with my mother until my husband put his foot down about reuping.
When he came back less than an hour after he came through the door him and his father were into it, His father was screaming that he wanted out to go back to his old job he was going that day and reenstating My husband siad he wanted to take the thirty days from effective date of discharge to have the honeymoon we never had, and get everything straight before he went back, I could hear he was tired. His feet had nt been off a moving deck in over three years due to the needs of the navy, but hius mother begged him to please do as his father asked i would still be here when he came home, He slamed out of his fathers home to not get back for 20 hours they put him on his old job on seconds straight to the floor, 12 hour shifts.The first sight I had of him was the next morning. I heard his father again yank him off the sofa scramng to hit the bricks and find a place to live. My husband said not until i see my wife boss. The next thing i know was his mother comes running in to my room begging me to come help her stop my husband from murdering his father. My husband had him pined against the cieling with his youngest brother and sister begging him to put him down. MY husband was furious, wanted me that morning and i decided I better go to breakfast with him.
Frankly that display scared me to death, The next day when we came back His father was waiting for us, When we got in the house, There was a very pretty blond crying on his fathers shoulder and a very nice looking older woman at the table. his father lights into my husband again, Said not back three days and I have to start taking care of problems you cause, He said did he put a shift preference to bump to days the night before, My husband said yes he was putting his nine years seniority up and bumping sombody with six months, His father was screaming that he was not bumping this little girl off days he was just going to be a man an stay were he was put, That that little girl had a social life he was not going to pertmite being disrupted. My husband got a hard set in his jaw, said she was subject to the same contractual rules he was and he was going to days, His father looked at me and said you better have some input. I told my husband he had to not cause trouble for two years Thats when our marriage could start. I just wanted peace for everyone, He looked at me and called me a mercenary b****, He took the keys to the house we had arranged for and stormed out nearly flattening his mother on his way out. I was standing there crying. and she went and asked me to go for a walk. I guess her and his father had a major row about his interference in her oldest sons life.
She took me over the next morning where my husband was just yanked up off the floor by his father allready there to buy abortion pill online. I saw his father running out the front door. and she went in and begged my husband to understand he was coming back and nobody knew how he felt about anything. She said as for sex wait the two years and let everyone get used to his being back. there is always tomorrow. Two years latter his father again has me take it in the teeth getting him to stay home from a planned vacation to Rome. It involved the same girl, her new fiance the group rates we were getting. My husband did not argue hard about it even thougfgh he had planed to use this trip as the honeymoon we never had. Instead he hauled my bible out printed of a sort of contract, Had me swear on my bible that what ever, where ever, and how ever he wanted a vacation i would accept the time the place and i would be a willing sex partner after my return from Rome, I could tell he was mad about being even asked yo take a back seat. His father said hes just going to have to learn you have to give up what you want for others.
The trip to the airport in our van he was no even polite about taking us, He dumped the luggagge in the street after his father told him to take it to check in. He walked abound the van say Yes sir. this po nigga, gets to it right away sir I be slow but gets it done, He screeched off wiuth his middle finger raised , leaveing our luggage scatered. I felt it was a petty thing to do but while I was in Rome I bought a peace offering of some new boots. I showed his father and the rest of the group what I had sworn to and signed and His mother recognized it as the trap it was. She said we did not even have the right to ask him to back off after not having a day off in seven years, His father said well a man has to be a man for everyones good.
HIs mother asked if i was prepaired to live up to what I had sworn to. I said yes, We talked about the best time for my husband to take his vacation and arrived at a midwinter decision, His mother said it first and did we think he would accept a wait of seven more months without consulting him. I thought well nobody else wants that slot. Its wide open and nobody to interfere with. I found out different the day we returned.
He informed me we were going to be well on our way to yosemitee by three that saturday after noon when i thought he was going into work. I ntold him what time frame we thought and we knew to take this vacation he had to set everyones under him in seniority's vacation back three weeks. I said I just flew all night, I asked him to please just take us tobreakfast and we could show him our pictures and give him the boots i bought. I said we can discuss the vacation time we had decided on in Rome> He asked whenb was that I said any time after the second of january to the 14th of February, He started laughing and asked and goo where Even cruise lines shut down during that time. To fly any where I could not blow the budget on christmass which i would do no mattyer what he wanted, HE said as for a road trip he did not want to end up stranded in a winter storm. So that time frame was useless. his father said why did he have to go anywhere he could sleep through it in our house. My husband said and shovel snow, Have the foreman calling him everyday to come in since he was not going somplace not much in the way of a vacation you are leabving me right. He asked me was I going to keep my promise this time I said He had a gun to all our heads and he knew it. He said fine I was handed two copies of a divorce filing going to be presented on monday to the clerk. He gave me the entire savings of 12000.00 in a cashiers check, Made up the cash I had to 1000.00. put me crying on a bus back to my mothers with a letter telling her he was returning me as he recieved me.
I could not understand why he was being so obstuinate it was only sex and time off which we could have talked through somehow. His father had a restraining order forcing him into work that day I heard his fathers luggage landed on him when the order was presented legal services did not want to get involved in what they called a family and political night mare. Two years later my husband was denied a divorce. I returned home to a husbvand i think hated me and everyone else. He worked every day until July 31 2001, When he collapsed at work suffering from adult Onset Hydrocepohalus caused by a brain tumor on the top of his brain stem, Three months latter the defiabnce quadrupled in the destruction of fouyr men on our front porch over a job bid. His father and friends the next eigfht years felt they had the duty to intimidate him into wok until he was again on the table with MRSA in his spine and since 2001 There has not been one request or time that he has cooperated in a willing way with any one. He has hurt everyman that used a weapon to force him to do as they wanted either in ambush or direct confrontation. To date over thirty are confirmed to have been hurt, In 2013 after the affauir was discovered He wanted my old boyfriend to take the guardianship. He had listened to how pathetic i said he was. and the description of what my AP thought. When my AP thought he would humiliate my husband by sweeping his cane putting him on the fllor He was put in ICU for a month after that cane fractured his scull and my husband was found by arriving police slamming his fist into his face screaming who is pathetic now, I had been swatted into a corner when i tried stopping my husband. Two weeks latter i was going to have a nice evening out with my husbands mother, father, and his fathers best friend at a political fund raising dinner when my husband came through the door from the stresas center. I was Begging the next half hour to get him to meet us anywhere he wanted after the event and we could get all his greivances on the tablee and decide what would be allowed now. He is not going to let any one have a say without killing someone now. He raped me told me it was the down payment on 31 years of a stolen life, He dared me to file the charges, He strole my private journals and was willing to put them into an evedence in a court.
His father is now thisout feeling from his chest down thankes to my husband breaking his neck this spring over this years vacation trip, and I sit here tryying to think why did he have to be so contrary. force issues that could have one day been peacfully resovled. Now Theres nothing but my husband willing to hurt people in keeping his rights. He tells me that if i don't like things there is the road, put my feet on it and pick a duirection.
And all I can do is cry now, I found those boots i bought in 1987 in Rome. Thought if I had kept my promises from our wedding instrtead of trying to keep my husband controled. what would have happened. Some people would not have had their way, but maybe my husband would not be so set on having his now. Maybe nobody would have been hurt except for feelings. I saw the hands of one of his fathers friends after my husband ambushed him They were badly shattered to keepo the man from ever holding a weapon against my husband again. He left pictres on him in that ambush of the man holding a shotgun on my husband at his work gate time stamped for new years eve 2004. His son was supposed to work that holiday down week but instead my husbanbd did again. In 31 years my husband did not have a day off the job or the clock but six ther rest were recovering fron surgery or in rehab.
I guess time passed for my husband much different than the rest of us, First 3 and a half years under water for the most part, then going staight back to work without a break then having two major surgerys within a decade both dealing with his central nerve system. I just can't help but wonder what life would have been like if we had not pushed and pushed him out of his rights.
This story is maddening, I feel so sorry for your husband, you work him to near death and have the audacity to cheat on him. You wouldnt give him sex but gave it to someone else. Please go kill yourself and rid our husband of this toxic relationship
What would life have been like if you hadn't pushed him out of his rights? You'd still be cheating on your husband.
Since that evening in 2013. I have been moved 1230 miles rto the west, in one of the wildests areas in the nation. The last three years has been like trying to deal with with a volcano in the house with me, it started the evening he came home from the stress center in 2013. I had been asked and had promised to go to a invitation only dinner with my husbands mother, father, and his fathers best friend who just needed to be accompanied after a nasty divorce. It was just a simple favor that I had promised that night to my husbands father months before. After the day before we left in 2012 for the mid east on a vacation his family took every three years with friends. He was in rehab at the time after MRSA caused his spinal cord to be crushed and partialy severed. MRSA also caused a heart leision and the surgery from that caused 3 strokes. That was the reason for the long rehab. In 2012 we went to tell my husband we were going to be gone for 2 weeks he just said fine, at least hopfully in 2015 i will be out of here so I will be going on the Cruise we had planed, his father started screaming that we did not need sombody in a wheel chair interfereing in any vacation, he would shut his face stop crying about never getting a vacation when he was working, He certianly made life hell enough over the last nine in his demands. I saw his eyes changeinstantly from Hazel to steel gray and ran out to get the floor nurse We could hear his father saying put that down stop being cuch achild about what he was going to be allowed, I saw his father laid out with a loud clang as a bedpan hit him in the face, The Nurse stepped over him actually she walked on him going in with a sedative, and we were informed that We had to request to see my husband any time we came over.
It was hard explaining to everyone why his fathers face was black and blue, He told everyone it was his fault turning and walking into a door edge. When my husband who was suposed to come home in a wheel chair in 2013. When he walked through the door with that 4'4" tall cane he had carved in OT. I should describe this evil thing, It was carved out of a red oak branch that one of the nurses found on the ground in he yard. The top is a Dragons head, with the tail going down the haft and the handle is its neck. The Dragon has titanium teeth made out of old drill bits red crystal Eyes and is polished black laquer and had a removable rubber tip with a ice spike under.
That 13+ pound cane was thrown the day like a spear fracturing my APs scull after he swept my husbands cane and started aughing and calling mty husband a pathetic looser. I was swatted into a corner begging my husband to not do any more damage, He was beatuing my AP so bad when the police arrived screaming whos the pathetic looser now. they took him to a stress center and my AP to ICU.
Two weeks latter I was planing for my husband to come home that Friday when the center called and said my husband would be ready for pickup at 4 that after noon. I dont drive because I have bad tunnle vision. His father was angry they decided to do it on that day of all days and suggested instead of coming to pick him up build his charecter by shoving him out the door. He could decide to become a man and walk and maybe run the 20 miles home. The day was a -40 with wind chill outside. MY husband did not have his cane, wallet, was dressed in sweats, no shoestrings after the center cut them out of hi shoes two weeks before. I was just finishing getting ready to go in a new cocktail dress and putting a neckas and other things on I heard the Patio door open and close and went to see who camne in and ran square into my husbands chest. He had found his cane next to the door and looked like a mountian with a storm about to break.
HE got a grin that was more wolflike than human and said, "Good I have not even been to a movie in 31 years where are we going he could dig somthing up to wear." It was starting to cry instantly, his eyes were gray again and i knew the evening was not going my way, I said I had promised this evening to his father, The next thing i knew was he was yelling at me that he did not care what i propmised to any one how many hadi made him in thirty one years and never kept. every thing from the sex, to the next weekend, holiday and vacation was his, He said how many did he get, when did I ever give him the chance for his own family, I was crying hard by this point and said i expected if he loved me he could understand and try to work it out but he started tio taker what he wanted at work in 2001, so people were left with only one option, That was force him into the life he did not want the next seven years. I said That last vacation he did not go on on the Orient Exprss I had made plans to make up for it with rthe whole five weeks in ST Croix if he had not become ill. I said i spent since 1985 to 2009 trying to get him to understand that the dam contract he worked under was nt written by gods finger. That there were always factors of children, people that just needed the times he wanted for weddigs and honey moons, family reunions. oronce in a life time trips..
I said we tried every vacation time we took to get him to take the Mid winter slot between the shutdown week and valintines day, I told him if just on year he was not constantly at odds wuith everyone over what ghe wanted and tried to arange somthing when we suggested we might ghave seen a way to start leting him have other times. It was just He became so set in his defiance we couldn't al;low him to have his way Especially adfter he took that job bid in 2001. It was cionsidered on a local level to be a prestige position, to be held for people with, political, family or social positions. He webnt over the locals head and got the national union to wegh in bringing so much attension that the lcal to this day is paraluized, going to the national with every grievance. Scared stife the local could be censured again.
I went to my husband the day before the bid was going in, I said your fathers best friend has a son with eight years seniority needs this position, My husband said yes the coke head has already demanded he back off the position but he was not getting it because he was not going to make it easy for him to centralise his drug trade, He said him and his other brain fried friends could drop dead . He did not care thart the boys father was the county commisuioner either he was 15 years lower in seniority so he was to take what he left the b****** wold have to continue to fry themselves on thier own.
I told him The next round of bids were in just one more month he could wait couldbnn'the and that was flatly refused. i said his father and everyone else wiould stop being on his back about a vaction, holidays and time off. We could start our sex life 20 years after our wedding I wanted a family. HE said BS, he would pull his bid and the next day I would be saying no again. So if i was an honorabletramp i would step in front of a semi, get him out from under a guardianship so he could take a real wife. That was like a kick to me guts. I asked whyhe called me a tramp. He said That beutiful Time I had in Bavara for the Millinial cellebration In 2000, That foreman friend of yours came back and asked him when he was going to tonser his head, wear gray robes and sandals anfd becione the good Benidictine monk with rosary beeads and a bible. he had told my husband niot to worry about me he would see to me like he had in Bavaria. When he said He was tired of the nickname of Monk. I was crying when Ialled his father that afrter noon, he said did he take the offer again, I said no he wanted me dead.
His father sauid well its time to put him in his place: The next morning I slammed the manual bolt shut telling my husband to hear the four men coming up on the porch. He couiuld at least listen to them, they told him he was going in under his own power and remove his bid with witness's or do it being carried in, MY husband said gather your wife whoever was whoes wife and get off his porch and out of his face or die. He goaded those four men into attacking him. My husband earned his third dan blackbelt in the army in 1974, He was wore the wings of air assault and Air born when we met. Four Years later he wore FBM patrol pin with 3 gold stars two silver, wore the Dolphins of a fullly qualified submarine sailor. Nuclear weapons tech, nuclear weapons security. HE considers any attack as permission to use deadly force, and he duid that morning, Leaving four men in under a minute desperatly hurt, The forman that Nicknamed him the Monk suffered the most with his ribs broken then driven through his lungs into his heart and my husband took the position.
The next seven years was the use of firearms tioo force him into going to work every day Holidays , vacations abnnd weekends untill one christmas eve in 2008 the sheriff came back after catching up with my husband after he kicked two men out iof his fathers car at 45 mph Choking hisfather into unconciousnes trying to cause a wreak and another man was sent through the fron windhield ehen my husband broke the seat with both feet. The sheriff told us the next seris of trouble would result in our arrest, for intimidation.
In the spring of 2009, The son of another friend got himself in trouble wuith a pregnant girfriend, resulting in a white shotgu wedding. My husband had reservations in a doubl berth for us, but told me if i touvched them he would break both my arms he said he was not paying for another for me without going himself. This Man with 2 years seniority coukld not get his vacation until when she was due, I told my husband that he had already worked 27 years without a day off what was seven more months, He should be ablee to wait until january and let the younger seniority go, He said you know my answer, a big fat NO. so his father came over and took the reservations out of his computer case. Along with his passport.
His father tried to be fair in the cancelling of his reservations by making up the cancellation fees, He gave me the 6354 dollar check to hold untiil a vacation for five weeks to St Croix i was able to arrange for january second 2010 He would have 35 years seniority Five weeks vacation cioming, I was thinking he could work the Chtristmas down week and instead of the ten he got for chruistmas with the two sandwiches we took to his work gat he would get the five week confirmations For ST Croix. I knew he was going to be very angry about not going on the express, We arraned to use an office in TSA, have his steward and union chapline there when he went into his valice and found everything was missing. I duid not know the anger he would show that day, I told him I was holding the Cancellation fee for when we came back and we could discuss the makup time he was going to take in 2010, I said there was a big nered from his cooworker couldn't he just understand one more time.
He demanded the check, his passport returned, He wanted our berth reinstated as he made it eight months before> I asked why he wanted these things and he said he had to get on the road to OHARE to catch the direct flight tio europ where he was gouing tio meet the express at every stop and make our life hell all the way to turkey He yanked my shoulder bag off me flinging me across the room with my arm dislocated. Huis father was screaming be a dam man and go to work hewould get a vacation and he would pick his passport up after we left from TSA. It took Seven men to keep his father from being strangled to death, over that vacation. TSA called state and put him on a no fly for a month to not let him carry out his threat. We came back to no pickup in our suburban. his father and i were handed apear in court arrset warrants by the sheriff. For Grand theft.
I served two months only because the check was considered restitution but his father served a year home detention and four years probation for stealing a federal ID. It was a hard blow to us that even a wife and father were told one more interference in his rights we would serve many years.
He never made the next January that I hoped would be a five week time to repair the damage to our marriage. He became so depressed thart his immune system failed and a MRSA abcsess Developed in his spine and caused his spinal cord to be crushed and partialy severed. After He came home three years latter he was demanding, Marital rights the second he walked in the door with that cane surprising everyone he was not wheel chair bound. I was getting out of an affair i had the last year. and That ended three days later with my AP laying in my living room with a fractured scull, the police arrived to see his fist slam into him breaking anotherr bone yelling whos the pathetic looser now, my aps wife let him come home and they reconciled last year, she tells me he wakes up runs to a corner and balls up begging please don't hit me again after a nightmare His Father and I were accused of abuse of an adult in the stress center. We came out ofthe doctors office after he saidv he was sending the situation t the das office.
We came out and his mother was talking to him in the day room, when his father made a straight line to him and started yelling boo hoo, you did not get a day of from 1985 to 2013. The poor mabn did not get his wife to have sex with him because she had to keep him from disrupting society, so he cries about having to be a man. His father ended up across the street geting 25 stiches on his forhead and chest after being flatened by a wheel chair going thrugh the plate glass doors. They were letting him use it as a walker.
He was sedated and put in the acket and cool off room that day,. A week later they sent him home on the worst day they could pick. Me ready To go to an Invitation only dinner that i could not take him to. This evening was not going to happen, He ripped everything off me wth me pleading with him to pick a place in 4 hours to try and work ort a time tavble to allow him into traditions. I said you can't expect us to let him into holidays and vacations that for 31 years he had not been a part of. HE saidv Under His roof, in his life he was never going to be told what he was allowed he was the final judge and Arbitor there. He said I refused him for 31years, I had given other men what he had earned and He really cared less what I had promised his father about that evening. First I was keeing the hundreds made him since 1982, Starting with our wedding vows, I was just trying tio slo thngs down thart evening Trying to think about how to stopwhartt i knewwas coming so I took for thedoor to try and yell for help. He justreached out and turned my dress into shreds. He left me in the living room nude pleading things did not have to be this weay when he took me to the floor and forced me.
I was begging in his mood he could hurt me and he just said how many years had he hurt now so he hoped I hurt for a long time. About 30 to 40 minutes latter i Got off the floor crying and trying to understand how it came to the rage and anger. because it was not love. I got a dressing gown on while he went to get somthing from the store. He said May as well have the condemed mans meal before the police arrived. He habnded me the phone and said don't clean up they needed a rape kit and scene photos. And he came back a littl over ten minutes later Hewas geting hissteak grilled when his fathers friend started on the door. My Husband answered and i heard him say he was not entering his house, He tried to bludff nmy husband about working in the mayors office he had a right to enter, MY husband said badge and warrant. or he was not coming in about that time his father was trying to pull in , when the man said out of my waty crip, He was grabed by the back of his coat and thrown over the rail face first ibnto the drive in front of his father effecytivly shutting that evening down.
Last Christmas another incident turned very deadly. We live out In NE WY now where my husband was from I invited many for Christmas here. His father first offered 400 for the vacation my husband bnever had as long as he was gone over Christmas. My husband truiied to feed him the money saying he wasstaying home, the first christmas in 33 years home. To ease the tensions he was home I put a real dinner togetyher and told him to go to his room in the pole barn turn the heater on and eat out there. It was just to keep the possibility of trouble down I told him if he wanted more just come t the back door and i would get it. HE hit me in the face with that plate, Told me this was his house his tabole, he had suplied and fixed the food. So He was not going to be told he was gettuihng the charity from the massas and be told he was eating in the barn. Throwing him out with his coat, stetson and cane took aklot of hits on both sides They finakly produced a pistopl to stop him from any more resistance. I watched as he grabbed his saddle and put It on his Bay Bart. I thought I would just fix the sandwiches he usualy got and save it for him untihe got bacjk from the ride to cool off. That is until he came out and shoved his 30 30 into the saddle holster and put his lariate over the pomel and attached it on the none loop end.
I was in a panic thinking he was going t find a place and ambush those with pistols and then come back and hurt me for not speaking against his leaving or being forced. I was running to yell for him to come back in and have his dinner any way and where he wanted I was to late when the front door flew acrss the room and his lariat looped around his fathers neck and he was holding his 30 390 on the rest of us. he said its real funny isn't it to have aweapo pointed at us isn't it. He saw the hand of one of the men armed start for his .40 s and w. and the rifles barriel pointed straight at his head My husband said It was a way to be stupid if he wanted his brains on the wall behind him and a garage door in the back of his head. HE said Any one that did not think he should eart in his hiouse, at his table with the food he had provided the door was now open they were free to leave. I lost most my friends that evening. He turned tio his father and said he was tired of his ordering him around in this life. HE said he should slap Barts rear and let him drag his father out of his house by his neck, I think that was the night his mother gave up on living. She died three weeks ago which set up another confrntation when my husbband arrived at the funneral home, a friend of the family tied to hold him out of the service telling my husband to come back latter for a private service. My husband said get his hand off him, and the guty stiood up and said or what, My husband said he was going in and his ham hand might be going in without him. He pusghed my husband who then looked like the Increadable hulk slamming this guy off brick walls and concret steps. I could alnmost hear my husband say puny friend The police removed the friend before the service was over. His brother said he would have paid to see my husband slam the guy as he desrved and his sister said i was trying to avoidtrouble setting up the seperate service for my brother, His cousins supported my husbands position. His father said why couldn't he just accept that he was not the same as everyone.
The last three weeks has been my husband was sent to the Clevland Clinic for a heart valve replacement, I was flown here yesterday, The surgen said that the valve had been damaged by the antibiotices used for MRSA. tHEY SAY HES GOING TO BE IN AN INDUCED COMA UNTIL SATURDAY.. I am talking to his sister who is here and shes found other thngs about where he worked until 2009, LIke Him telling the state govenor to come to the plant and give him an order face t face so he could shiove a trailor hitch up his rear and let hinm tow that 18000 pound load he was not giving it to the truck sent. since it was not safe and the drivers did no have a CDL, union card or could even speak english. Like getting thev newly wed in 2009 fired the day he canme back, Another man fired for calling in the holiday down week causing my husband to work again. Hunting and ambushing a man that pushed him into work at gun point, Then smashing his hand so bad he lost it. Its been 16 years since he tasted first blood and he wont try and get along niow.